Things You Should Know as a Working Parent

You have a full workload, now add some kids. Being a working parent is like wearing a million hats at once, all while treading water to keep your head above water. That's a lot, right? The pandemic intensified growing conversations on how best to support working parents (both as employees and employers). One thing for certain: flexibility is a must. 

 By Mariah Flores

So you’re a working parent? 

Then, you’re probably very familiar with tackling daily obstacles that come from balancing a family and a career. 

The pandemic and transition to remote/hybrid work only exacerbated these obstacles, as parents faced lacking childcare, fear of exposure, unyielding workloads, busy or nonexistent home offices and new roles as virtual teacher’s aides. This list goes on and varies for different households. 

Boundaries between home and work blurred, but it wasn’t all bad. 

Many parents discovered the ways their parenting or homelife actually informed how they show up in the workspace. Skillfully juggling priorities and being strategic with tasks seemed to be a common theme, as well as an extra appreciation for their loved ones, despite the hectic pace and stress. 

Fast forward to 2022 and the need for flexibility within workplaces, especially for working and expectant parents is still prevalent. Everyone, even those who are not parents, deserves some extra grace and support as we continue to navigate this post-pandemic working world. We are in a “new normal” and it’s on both employers and employees to adapt. 

Unfortunately, many industries and organizations still fail to provide their employees, who are also parents, with the adequate resources, tools and accommodations to show up authentically and do their best work. 

In an op-ed for Time, mother and startup co-founder Erin Grau put it simply, “being a working parent sucks right now.” She also added, “It’s a sad reality that at most companies, parents will have to advocate for themselves because their employers aren’t paying attention.” 

It’s easy to read that and get down, but there’s comfort in knowing that others are also going through it. There are plenty of working and parenting discussions to be had and added to —your voice and input do matter. Speaking of input, I invited three LinkedIn members to share their experiences and advice as working parents. 

What it means to be a working parent

For Vivian Chung Easton, a working mother of two, licensed mental health clinician and lead for clinical quality improvement and assurance at Meru Health, being a working parent is a juggling act.

“It means you work one full-time job during the day, take a deep breath and then head on to your second shift,” she says.”It also means being a role model for our children, to show that tenacity, hard work and resilience.”

“I can do both, sometimes not well, but I'm trying and that brings me fulfillment.”

As a working parent, Easton feels a sense of empowerment doing both—being a full-time professional and full-time mom. 

“I can do both, sometimes not well, but I'm trying and that brings me fulfillment.”

We also need to acknowledge that being a parent is a job in itself, whether in tandem with employment or stay-at-home. 

If you don’t believe being a parent is a full-time job, I challenge you to ask yourself “Why?” 

Work, just like people, comes in many different forms and it’s mindless to just brush that aside. 

Parents balance work, school (in-person and online), appointments, illness, cancellations, performances, vet visits, playdates and so much more. Their to-do lists and workdays don’t end after eight hours. No, it goes on for hours, days and years — as long as their kids need them. 

Feeling burned out? 

Burnout is a serious problem across many industries and it’s heavily affecting working parents. Ohio State University found that 66% of working parents meet the criteria for “parental burnout”. 

Mike Quick, a green-collar employee at Pratt Industries and working father of two, is on a mission to help people be the best working parents they can be, through practical and relatable lessons.

I asked him to share his thoughts on the recent burnout findings published by The New York Times.

“Sometimes, I think our work culture has perpetuated this idea of giving everything we have to our jobs and kids,” he says, “It’s almost a badge of honor to have burnout attached to your name — that means you’re a hustler, hard-worker, etc.”

As working parents, it’s extremely important to know how to spot signs of burnout and get help. 

Common signs of burnout: 

• Headaches 
• Stomach issues
• Reduced performance 
• Apathy about work
• Little to no motivation
• Lack of creativity
• Trouble sleeping or insomnia
• Feeling exhausted or useless

Other surprising signs of burnout include: enjoying a constant state of stress, feeling obsessive, an all-or-nothing approach to life, being discontent at rest and feeling wired. You can also take this “The Parental Burnout Test” to assess if you need to get help. “[S]ociety expects you to work like you don't have children, and parent like you don't have work,” remarks Easton.

“[S]ociety expects you to work like you don't have children, and parent like you don't have work,” remarks Easton.

As a society, we need to do more to protect all workers from burnout. Our relationship with work will never be the same, thanks to the pandemic. It’s high time we try to adapt, elevate what’s working and course-correct what’s not. 

“[S]ociety expects you to work like you don't have children, and parent like you don't have work,” remarks Easton.

Be realistic, transparent and kind

So often, we have this “go, go, go” mentality and never give ourselves time to rest, recoup and regather (again, leading to burnout). As working parents, realism, while planning or speaking with your boss about accommodations, goes a long way. 

At the end of the day (no matter what your employer may believe), you are a parent first, so many other things second and finally, an employee last. 

Wonderfully described by one working mom, Mary Beth Ferrante, via a viral LinkedIn post, it’s time for a permanent out of office. She added an auto-responder to her email that kept it real, listing all the disruptions and hurdles she and her husband had already faced just three working days into the new year. 

For Ferrante, and many other working parents, email responses may be delayed and that should be okay. She encouraged others, not just parents, to be kind to themselves. 

“If you are juggling disruptions in your own care/school/health, please be kind to yourself! Prioritize what is most important personally and professionally,” she wrote in her post. 

If you are struggling with your responsibilities as a full-time parent and employee, take some time to lay out a realistic to-do list, communicate openly with your manager or boss, delegate tasks as needed, practice some form of self-care and take it day by day, step by step, moment by moment. 

Quick and Easton both shared many overlapping tips on how working parents can best advocate for themselves. On the flip side, they also shared some ways employers can better support their working or expectant parents. 

Here’s what they want fellow working parents to know: 

• Set clear expectations and boundaries (together with your employer)
• Ask specific questions about flexibility and working parents during interviews
• Be in it for the long haul (advocacy will follow you to every job)
• Develop a relationship with the human resources team
• Be upfront and honest with your company about your needs
• Provide solutions if you need to be absent from work
• Prioritize your schedule

Here’s what they want to see employers change and do: 

• Learn about the constantly evolving topic of family policy
• Be proactive and embrace the everchanging working world 
• If you say your company is “family-friendly”, actually be “family-friendly”
• Record meetings and follow-up with working parents who may miss them
• Review and update outdated policies regarding PTO, family leave, flex hours, etc.

Finally, the biggest need among working parents is flexibility. 

Deborah Reber, parenting activist, bestselling author, speaker, and founder & CEO of Tilt Parenting (and working mother) firmly believes that there needs to be more flexibility from employers and companies. 

“I hate for parents to be in a position where they have to choose between their kids’ well-being and a support they know their child needs and losing a job or getting trouble at work,” she elaborates. 

Companies need to be more flexible with employees’ schedules and more understanding about what it’s like being a parent today, which according to Reber, is trying to do it all and “Mission Impossible”. 

One thing she hopes comes from COVID is that companies will be more respectful of employees’ whole experience, and not just their life as an employee. 

Employers, make sure to check in with your working parents and expecting employees. Give all employees access to flexible work schedules and environments, equal pay, access to more paid time off, ample wellness days and more—or expect to lose a lot of great talent. 

As you begin assessing your role as a working parent, I encourage you to lean on others, like your fellow members here on LinkedIn and find a sense of community through similar channels and platforms. Being a working parent, while hard at times, is certainly a special and unique experience that can only add to your professional journey. And for employers, I implore you to practice kindness and grace.

Top Takeaways

What to know as a working parent

• Don’t be so hard on yourself and advocate as you’re able
• Burnout is real, but if spotted in time, can be dealt with 
• Employers need to offer more flexibility and kindness to their working parents