Things Women Say That Men Misunderstand -

Gray's theory maintains that "men complain about problems because they are asking for solutions while women complain about problems because they want their problems to be acknowledged."

Agreed. Both genders are guilty of misinterpreting each other's words and actions because we speak two separate languages.

For example, when a man says "Not right now" it often translates to, "Please go away" or "Leave me alone." Men need time-outs in their caves until they find a solution to whatever they're figuring out, and they don't want our help. There's no mystery in what they're saying, it's to-the-point and straightforward. Men say what they mean.

The same doesn't apply to most women. Instead, they drop hints. They beat around the bush. They expect men to know what they're thinking. "I don't want to talk right now," is usually a passive way of getting a guy to pay attention as a sort of test. In other words, she's asking if he cares.

Confusing? Yes.

To top it off, women often expect men to be mind readers. When they look away to avoid spilling tears, or they huff and they puff and mutter under their breath, they're not happy. It's written all over their faces, despite attempts to hide it.

To help men understand this "chick code," dudes need a tool to help decipher ladies' glossary of terms. The following are translations of the more common phrases men will hear coming out of a woman's mouth:

Whatever. Truce. "I don't feel like fighting with you right now so you and I should just agree to disagree." We say this when we don't want to get into whatever it is you're bringing up.

Fine. Our way of ending a fight or preventing one from starting. When we say "Fine" you should consider yourself lucky, say "OK" and walk away. Just expect to hear about it later.

Oh, nothing. Definitely something. Except you are expected to know what that something is. This is where the mind-reading comes into play. If you still haven't telepathically figured out what's wrong by time we bring it up, then you're in deep shit.

Do I look fat in this? Do NOT ever respond to this question with a "Yes." What she really asking is if she is desirable, if you're attracted to her  - not if you like her outfit. This is the moment you should sweep your lady up in your arms and tell her how she'd look hot even in a potato sack.

Should I wear this... or this? She is asking, "Which outfit do I look sexier in?" Given a choice, guys usually go for the get-up that covers the most skin, (especially if you're off to lunch with his mother). We know this, and usually go for the one you don't want us wearing when it's girls' night out.

I'll be 5 minutes. Give her at least 30, and please don't harass her  during this process; it will only make her nervous and f**k up her make-up, leading to at least another 5 minutes. This also can be code for, "Go pour yourself a drink, have a seat and put the TV on whatever it is you want to watch until she’s ready."

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Thank you …I love you. "At this moment you make me very happy." Contrary to popular belief, it doesn't always mean we're "in love" with you. We say it when we feel safe and satisfied, usually after orgasm or receiving gifts. Tears may follow.

Tears are our way of releasing emotion, bad and good. Yes, annoyingly we cry when we're happy, too. You guys never know the difference so here's the barometer; if she's crying and refuses to talk about it, they're bad tears. If she's crying and wants to spill her guts, they're good tears.

"I just want to be friends." She might already have a boyfriend. In that case, be happy this woman wants you in her life at all.

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"Let's have babies soon!" You've obviously displayed a natural knack with kids; this is your way of taking the temperature of the situation. How you react to this question will determine if you're daddy material down the line.

Your comment …..?

That guy over there was totally hitting on me. "Pay attention to me and don't take me for granted - because that man over there will happily take your place."

When feeling insecure, she likes to remind you of her worth by pointing out her value to others.

I'm sorry. No we're not. We are usually just placating you to get what we want, or to get out of some situation. Women also say it right before we drop a bomb. "I'm sorry; I should've told you, I just got out of a relationship. “

But don't fret, guys and gals. There are women out there who, like men, mean what they say. They're just harder to find.