These Things Still Happen

Last night, the Jopwell squad got the below email from me. I thought it was important to share with our wider community. Instead of letting others' perceptions tear us down, let’s turn it into the fire that fuels our resistance. Here’s to us.

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Hi Team,

I wanted to share with you all what happened to me on my train ride home yesterday. It’s a reminder of why the work we do is incredibly necessary.

I was one stop away from my apartment during what was a normal, uneventful commute home. I was standing in a somewhat crowded train listening to music, when I heard a woman behind me yelling profanities at someone. I wasn't paying much attention to it. I heard her say, "Hey, Black guy. I'm talking to you! Black guy! Black guy!" I still didn't direct my attention to her — I was on the New York City subway after all — until the person standing next to me tapped my shoulder and said, "Sir, she's talking to you."

When I turned around, I saw a middle-aged white woman, dressed in business attire, seemingly coming home from work. She was sitting about two feet away from where I was standing. She looked me dead in the eye and said, "You're a douche. You know — I'm speaking to you."

I looked at her with a puzzled expression and said, "I'm sorry ma’am, are you speaking to me?" To this she replied with vulgarity, "You know I'm speaking to you." As the train pulled into the station, a million thoughts were running through my mind. Before I was able to figure out what to say, she yelled directly at me, "You're a nigger."

Several people on the train stood up and started yelling at her, calling her a disgrace. Meanwhile, not saying a word, I just stared at her in shock. Finally, the doors opened and several people encouraged me to get off the train — to not pay her any mind. I stood there as the doors closed. It was as if life started again.

Looking back, part of me is glad that I didn't say anything or become confrontational. Had I done so, it could have perpetuated the ‘angry black man’ stereotype, leading onlookers to remember my blow up more than this woman calling me a nigger.

I wanted to share this with you all because we still live in a world with ignorant people. This ignorance is prevalent even in cities like New York, where we celebrate people of all backgrounds and cultures. During this upsetting interaction, my success, accomplishments and anything that makes me the person that I am, did not matter. All that mattered to the woman was that I was a black man and in her eyes, a nigger.

Yesterday, I let my guard down for one moment and was immediately reminded that first and foremost I am a black man in this country. As long as racism remains so deeply rooted in our society, people will have a bias against me based on the color of my skin. While this is only one example, I know this story rings true for other Black people in America. Let's use these experience as motivation as we continue to break down barriers for those in our communities.

Porter