The things people do that sabotage their career and life

As a headhunter, I speak to countless people on a daily basis. Since my job revolves around understanding people, their motivations, and career/personal goals, I witness how many people's negative and limiting philosophy towards life manifests into a similarly sub-optimal outcome.

Here are a few things I've seen people do to sabotage their career and life without even knowing it.

#1. Setting your career and life goals too low due to lack of confidence. Many people grow up in strict households where parents and society are harsh, mean, and rule by power. Most parents deride, chide, and verbally abuse their children, thus many of us as adults, haunted by their negative mindsets, suffer from low self-confidence.

Due to a lack of self-confidence, many professionals think that they're lucky to have "gotten so far in life" and suffer from Imposter Syndrome.

They dread and avoid facing additional challenges in life. They set easily achievable goals because it's more comfortable and reassuring to "succeed" rather than "fail" at a harder goal. Because the bar is set so low, people rarely live up to their full potential.

#2. Following the herd. The mentality described in #1 often leads many professionals to unquestionably follow the herd on a variety of career and life decisions. Their career decisions are based on others' advice rather than possessing the courage to pursue their own interests. They can't wait to buy an over-priced house because their friends are doing it. They rent, eat, and vacation in similar ways to their friends' behavior to prove they've achieved socially-accepted status symbols.

They marry people they probably shouldn't because all their friends are now married and they don't want to be THAT guy or gal.

While many people think they're getting ahead in life because they're most definitely on par with the Joneses, their lack of individual decision-making skills catch up with them. They become consumers rather than leaders. They're never going to game the system, they'll forever be a cog in the system. Instead of profiting, they're more likely to suffer the financial and mental consequences of their actions, many of which they often regret later.

#3. Becoming bitter and angry because they view themselves as victims. Since they peg their life choices to others' standards, they often blame others as the reason for why they're unsatisfied with their life's outcome. Instead of attributing blame onto themselves for why their life turned out a certain way, they blame "the system" or other external factors such as race, gender, age, financial resources, their family obligations, and class into which they're born.

Although everyone suffers from a lack of privilege in various aspects of their life, that's still not an excuse! You can't hide behind your lack of privilege as a shield to excuse your lack of self-improvement or effort.

This overbearing obsession with hate against "the system" is counterproductive!

This pointless pursuit of correct blame attribution further decreases one's ability to think clearly and do the things they need to do to straighten their lives out. Often, this blind hatred grows into a series of mental health issues, leading to paranoia, abuse towards others, drug and alcohol overconsumption, and depression.

NOTE: I'm not arguing that protest isn't important. In times like these, it's important to challenge the status quo. However sustainable career and life success can't be achieved by obsessing over negative emotions like anger and bitterness.

#4. A lack of interest and investment into people and communication skills. How many times have you met a high-performer who will never ascend the throne to a leadership position? Too often that is the case. Many candidates I've come across want to be CEOs and leaders, yet they're not equipped to because they've never truly invested in their people skills!

Just because you mastered a technical skill, doesn't mean you can be a great people leader. Extensive time must be dedicated to increasing your soft skills to make sure you can motivate others, understand and emphasize with your employees' challenges, and build relationships industry-wide to support and represent your company to external stakeholders.

My Experience

As someone who retired at age 28, I was very fortunate to learn many of these lessons during my teenage years, corporate career, and through my unique familial and personal challenges. Since I pursued to grow my career in sales, I chose the path of rebelling against conventional career "wisdom". I invested fearlessly by creating my own valuation model when it comes to stocks, real estate, and now cryptocurrencies.

Even now, I continually try to live in a contrarian manner.

However, as a people-person, I don't behave in an offensive and anti-establishment manner towards the people I encounter. Although I live and invest according to my dearly-held contrarian principles, I treat others with the utmost friendliness, respect, and acceptance in their more mainstream way of life.

Just because I personally follow the path less traveled, I don't expect nor hate others for not doing it. I can only help those who want to experience an alternative approach to life and career success when they're ready and willing.

Dandan is a headhunter, career coach, and speaker featured on Huffington Post, Inc.com, Apple News, Monster, and Time. Check out Dandan Global for more advice, tips, and secrets about headhunting and career success!