The things my mom taught me . . .

November 18, 2016 – Vancouver, B.C. Canada. This month marks my two years working for LinkedIn based in Asia . . . and after 2 years, I am finally posting my first blog. I’d like to dedicate this post to the best life teacher I know – my mom, Araceli Castillo.

My family and I have been in Vancouver the past 10 days to spend time with my mom who is now in a hospice.  It is just a matter of time until she is no longer with us. Seeing her each day  gave me time to reflect on so many things about life but mostly how much she has had an impact on me. It made me realize how much of what she has instilled in me at a very young age has been the foundation of “how” I see life and live life today.  Here are a few of them.

• Help others…when you can, where you can. In my early childhood, I remember our house being full of relatives staying with us for periods of time who came from the province. My mom always opened our home to those who wanted a fresh start in the city. She was tireless in leveraging her relationships and network of friends to help them find work. I saw firsthand, and many times, the impact of what a simple introduction can make in helping a person’s circumstance change.  This is only one example. Where I can, when I can – I try to make time to give back and help others either personally or professionally. I know I can do more. What I aim to do and do consistently, is to make a positive difference to those around me every day.
• Self-Belief.  My mum had a tough upbringing as a child and into her adulthood, but what she had was a strong sense of self-belief and the confidence to take risks. She believed in herself when others doubted her and her capabilities, or pigeon-holed her into a role – she was not afraid to challenge the status quo and to prove them wrong.  In times of self-doubt, I think of my mom, in what she would do in the same situation, and I can hear her say “always believe in yourself”. Having self-belief gives me the courage to take risks (hey - I left Canada to follow a kiwi lad to NZ ….and he became my husband) , and it is self-belief that helps to pick myself up and move forward when things aren’t going to plan.
• Dream..and dream big! Building on self-belief, my mom showed me that dreams do come true as long as you are focused and prepared to work hard for it.  It took a few years and it was not easy for her and the family but she built from nothing one of the most successful restaurants in our city until we left for Canada in the 70’s.  Building a successful business was her dream since she was a little girl. For me, I clearly recall getting my first car and driver’s license as soon as I turned 16. I skipped school that morning with two friends and I drove us to the airport. From the main terminal, we watched the planes take off.  It was a big dream for me at the time – I remember saying to myself that one day, I will travel, I will see the world and live in different places ..and experience life to its fullest! The rest is for another blog post.
• Gratitude. Calling out 2 or 3 things to be grateful for is something my mom did first thing when she woke up and again before she went to bed. I didn’t pay much attention to this until I was much older..and more reflective.  It was July 2005 and my husband and I were living in Sydney. I remember being told by my specialist that I have cancer BUT  that it was 100% curable. Nonetheless, I still had to go through a few months of light chemotherapy.  It was during this time that I remember my mom and her practice of daily gratitude.  I taught myself to “chunk things down”, take things one day at a time and to call out things to be grateful for each day – it helped me get through whatever pain I was experiencing and to look at life differently. These days, each night, my daughter and I share our 2 or 3 grateful things before she goes to bed.

Over the years and as my career progressed, what my mom taught me has been strengthened and complemented by others who have taken me under their wing and have invested in me, but in the end…it is still my mom who first taught me and showed me these valuable life lessons. There are six of us in the family – all girls. As I think about what I’ve outlined in this post, I see all these also in my sisters. Mom, you should be proud of what you’ve achieved.  You have taught us well.  Thank you for everything and for being my best teacher!  Love – your daughter, Grace.