Things Leadership Taught Me About Parenting

Imagine our children embracing leadership because of our parenting? I had driven to Coffs Harbour to take my daughter to see a band. I didn't want her driving five hours alone by herself and I said I would tag along. I had just spoken at a conference, it had been a very long week and didn't really need the five hours in a car on a Friday afternoon however I wanted her to know she is my priority. It ended being a wonderful trip. Why? I went for a walk down at the beach when we got there by myself to reflect and Abby called me. She told me that she had been meaning to share something with me for a long time. I took a deep breath not knowing what she was going to say. She said for many years she was so angry with me and she now knows that everything I did was for her and she is so grateful to have me as a mother. She can see how incredibly hard it was for me to do this all alone whilst running a business and taking care of her and her mental well-being. She said I am so proud and love you so much. I was crying literally a river...

No one is ever really 100% prepared for parenthood especially during a pandemic. You can read hundreds of books and talk to all the parents you know, but until you experience it for yourself, you’ll never fully know what it’s like. Becoming a parent gives you new experiences and teaches you things that are unique to the crazy journey that is parenthood, let alone being a full time solo parent. Many of you know of the challenges I have faced even prior to this pandemic with my daughter's mental health challenges over many years due to bullying and COVID just brought a lot of her anxiety and depression to the forefront again. What truly helped me looking back was calling into my kindness, courage and....leadership.

It takes courage and kindness to be a great parent. It is the most leadership role on the planet. There were so many times I didn't know if I could do it and even as a leader today, the responsibility of leading and taking care of my teams can be overwhelming.

They are the toughest gigs you will love.

If I hadn’t given birth to my amazing daughter Abby, I would have missed out on knowing what pure and complete love is - and I never would have learned so many valuable lessons that make me a better mother, parent and a better leader as well. In turn, the years and years I invested in my self-development as a leader, teaching leadership and being the best human I could be, absolutely made a difference to the most challenging times of our lives and it is during adversities that leadership truly shines.

So many of the traits and skills we learn as parents and practice every day can translate into powerful leadership lessons and vice versa, and help us improve ourselves as leaders.

Here are some of the most important leadership lessons I’ve learned since I became a parent and leader:

One Size Doesn’t Fit All

Just as each child is unique in what their strengths are, what motivates them and what approaches they respond best to, so are the people in our teams.

Taking the time to get to know those you work with not only helps you get the best out of them, but it also improves your relationships, leading to better and more open communication.

Don’t Let Life Pass You By

Living in the moment is something I still struggle with occasionally, but a lot of us do. It can be easy to get caught up in a deadline and let other areas of your life slip, but when you have a child you really learn to stop and appreciate even the smallest moments - because they just grow up way too fast, and you can’t get those precious moments back!

Finding that right balance between life and work leads to not only happier leaders but happier teams as well. And even if you aren’t a mother, you still need to make sure you have a life!

Kindness And Compassion Leadership Are Always Important

Once you’ve got your new little person in your arms, you often find yourself becoming more compassionate to those around you. As your child grows, you learn just how much they can affect your life (lack of sleep, sharing a tummy bug from school or daycare, the list goes on!), and you can empathise instead of becoming frustrated when someone on your team isn’t doing their best. Of course, this doesn’t mean you let poor performance slide! It just means that you’re more understanding, and teams respond well to a leader who is kind and cares about them.

Leadership?Flexibility Is Key

Motherhood shows you that despite your best plans, you’ll often have to roll with the punches instead. Children will surprise you in incredible ways, but sometimes things happen that mean you need to quickly adapt to avoid disaster.

Great leaders understand that they can’t control everything, and are flexible to ensure they adapt to whatever gets thrown at them so that they still get the best results.

Presently Listen, Give Some Autonomy and Let Them Be Who They are

When Abby left school at 14 due to bullying, it was beyond awful. I tried everything I could to get her back to school as I knew she needed her education for her future. I pushed and pushed and had these all expectations for her. Thing is they were my expectations and I forgot about where she was at and what she needed. I forgot to listen. She wasn't ready and she couldn't do it. I stopped speaking and yelling and started listening without judgement. I let go of who I felt she should be and should do. Obviously as a leader who need to have accountability and commitment however I gave my daughter some autonomy to discover who she is and what she wanted. I embraced that this autonomy would help her on her journey. Listening, listening and listening to discover who she is and what she stands for with the autonomy to do that made such a difference. Obviously I gave her guidance however I wasn't attached to it. She found her path and she is thriving.

I invite you to do this with your teams.

Finding The Balance Between Independence And Course Correction

You’ve probably heard, or even said yourself, that kids need to make their own mistakes in order to learn - as long as the mistakes aren’t harmful or putting them in danger, of course! Parenthood is constantly trying to set your kids up with the tools to succeed, while still letting them explore what it’s like to fail and have things go wrong because life isn’t always fair or easy.

Being a leader is very similar; you want your team to have initiative and think independently, while passionately going after their goals, but you have to know when to step in and change their direction too. It’s not about letting go of all control but finding the right balance between them to become an effective leader.

Who knows if I’d be where I am today if I hadn’t become a mother and parent? Having children gives you courage and a fierceness you never thought you’d feel, but you want to make sure you’re giving your child everything you can to help them succeed and be happy while trying to make the world a better place for them too.

The journey of parenthood never ends, and neither should your journey as a leader; like parenting, it can be extremely difficult, but also one of the most incredibly rewarding experiences of your life. Please remember to practice self kindness and compassion everyday.

“What greater aspiration and challenge are there for a mother than the hope of raising a great son or daughter?”

—Rose Kennedy

Today I love that my daughter talks leadership. She talks about her impact, values, principles and leads with such kindness and courage. She was listening and watching me.

Imagine all our children being our future leaders because of us? What a great world this would be...

I’d love for you to share any leadership lessons with me that you’ve learned during your journey, so be sure to comment or send me a message!

By Sonia McDonald

Founder and Managing Director of Leadership HQ and McDonald Inc. Leadership coach, entrepreneur, CEO and author.?

Sonia McDonald is changing the face of leadership across the globe. She believes we should lead with kindness and courage, from the heart, and is known for her mantra ‘Just Lead’. She leads by example in all these areas and through her transformational coaching, leadership training programs and cultural transformation for organisations and encourages others to do the same. Sonia has helped thousands of people on their leadership journey to become the best version of themselves and in turn, inspire and bring out the best in others.

Sonia is a founder and CEO of?McDonald Inc .,?LeadershipHQ ?and?Global Outstanding Leadership Awards ?and the newly launched Courage Conference. For more than 25 years, Sonia has been on the front lines of leadership and she is beyond committed to her mission around building a world of great leaders.

She has held leadership positions worldwide and through experience, research and study come to realise what it takes to be a truly great leader. She has been recognised by Richtopia as One of the Top 250 Influential Women across the Globe and Top 100 Australian Entrepreneurs.

Sonia has an ability to speak bravely and authentically about her own development as a leader, personal and career challenges in a way which resonates with her audience. She is a leading coach, an award-winning published author of newly released First Comes Courage, Leadership Attitude and Just Rock It! and has become an in-demand keynote speaker on leadership, kindness and courage.

Sonia has become recognised for her commentary around the topic of leadership, kindness, empathy and courage as well as building outstanding leadership across the Globe.