Things Just Are

Things Just Are

Have you ever thought about how much of our experience is shaped not by what happens to us but by how we perceive and react to those events?

Recently, I came across a powerful idea that "things that happen are not good or bad; they just are what they are." This statement challenges us to rethink how we view our experiences and invites us to explore a more balanced, thoughtful approach to life and leadership. Let's dive deeper into this perspective and see what it can teach us.

Stoic Philosophy: Focusing on What We Can Control

This idea aligns closely with Stoic philosophy, which teaches that while we cannot control external events, we can control our responses. Stoic thinkers like Marcus Aurelius and Epictetus argued that labelling events as "good" or "bad" is a choice we make, not an inherent truth. By accepting reality and focusing on maintaining inner tranquillity, we can better navigate life's challenges with grace and resilience, feeling more prepared and capable and less affected by the turbulence of external events.

The Idea: Events Are Neutral, Our Perceptions Aren’t

The statement "Things that happen are not good or bad; they just are what they are" offers a fresh lens through which to view our experiences. At its core, this idea suggests that events are neutral; our interpretation and perception label them as "good" or "bad." This perspective, deeply rooted in stoic philosophy and mindfulness practices, advocates for a more balanced, objective, and non-judgmental view of life's occurrences, helping us to feel more centred and clear-minded.

Shifting from Reaction to Response

This mindset encourages us to shift from a reactive stance—where we immediately judge and respond emotionally—to a more measured, thoughtful response. In a business context, this can mean the difference between making a knee-jerk decision and taking a step back to consider all factors objectively. By recognising that our initial reactions are often driven by emotion rather than reason, we can train ourselves to respond more thoughtfully and effectively.

The Benefits of Embracing This Mindset

Improved Decision-Making: When we view events as neutral, we can detach from immediate emotional reactions and make decisions based on a more transparent, more strategic understanding of the situation. This approach allows for more informed decision-making, especially under pressure, instilling confidence and competence in our leadership.

Enhanced Leadership: Leaders who practice this mindset can inspire their teams by remaining calm and composed in the face of challenges. They become role models for resilience and thoughtfulness, creating a work environment where measured responses are valued over impulsive reactions.

Greater Emotional Resilience: By accepting that "things are what they are," we reduce the emotional volatility that comes with constantly labelling events as "good" or "bad." This acceptance helps build resilience, allowing us to navigate setbacks and challenges with a balanced outlook.

Potential Challenges with This Perspective

While this outlook can be grounding and lead to a more balanced life, it's essential to recognise potential challenges:

Emotional Experience: For many, emotions are a natural and vital response to events. Completely detaching from the idea of "good" or "bad" might seem like denying or suppressing genuine feelings. It is crucial to find a balance between observing our emotions and allowing ourselves to feel them entirely.

Moral Implications: Some might interpret this philosophy as morally ambiguous, especially in situations involving injustice or harm, where events are not just neutral but "bad" from an ethical standpoint. It's important to acknowledge that while we can strive for inner peace, we are also responsible for acting against wrongdoing and striving for justice where needed.

Practical Tips for Cultivating This Mindset

Embracing this mindset fosters a more neutral acceptance of life's events. Instead of reacting with emotional volatility, we learn to respond with a calm, considered approach. This shift helps build resilience and adaptability as we move away from trying to control the uncontrollable and focus instead on managing our internal states. In a business context, this can be incredibly valuable for leaders who face constant change and uncertainty.

Pause Before Reacting: Before responding, take a moment to breathe and look at the situation. This pause can help you shift from a reactive mode to a more reflective state.

Reframe Your Thinking: Instead of immediately judging an event as unfavourable, consider what you can learn from it. Ask yourself, "What opportunities does this situation present?"

Practice Mindfulness: Regular mindfulness practices, such as meditation or journaling, can help train your mind to observe thoughts and emotions without immediately reacting.

How do you typically respond to unexpected events?

Do you react immediately, or do you take a moment to reflect?

Have a brilliant week!

Dave Rogers – The Business Explorer

For 30 years, I've been using my curiosity to help leaders and businesses make impactful decisions, enabling their businesses to innovate, thrive, and positively contribute to their communities.

Are you looking for a speaker who thinks a little differently? Let’s talk.

Contact me at [email protected] to find out more.


John Dooner

Delivers Soft Skills In Hard Places: Developing People and Teams

2 个月

Smashing read Dave; I hold a view that Stoic thinking should be part of a new and invigorating curriculum for kids. I hope all's well.

Mark Billage

ICF Associate Certified Coach (ACC)Published Author of "I See You". Championing introverted leaders to stay true to themselves and their values without shouting about it. Creating fearless teams one leader at a time.

2 个月

Thanks for the perspective Dave and agree reframing is key.

Shazney Spence The Life Architect

Replacing overwhelm and anxiety with clarity & calm by 1:1 Coaching | Group Coaching | 1Hr Clarity Session | Clarity Coaching Packages POA | Mental Health Advocate | Public Speaker

2 个月

Excellent article Dave. I wholeheartedly agree with this way of viewing things. The ability to detach from judgement of situations that arise in our life truly does give us power to respond in a more empowered way. ‘Things just are’ is a liberating lens to see the world, to navigate the contrast of our experiences and strengthen our resilience. Thank you for sharing your wisdom ????

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