Things I would tell to my younger self….

As we get ready to bid adieu to the year of the pandemic, there are many lessons one has learnt in this one year than their entire lifetime. I want to take this time out and tell my young self from when I was 20 years old  - still wondering what life has in store for me, where will this journey take me, will I be successful?, will I be loved? Will I have friends?, what will my family be like? And so on…

The first piece of advice I am gonna tell ‘her’ is – it's all going to be fine. You will shine like a small star in the sky and people around you are going to love you, cherish you and be there for you just like you will be there for them. 

Your sincerity and empathy are your biggest weapons which will help you through many sticky situations. People like honest, earnest friends – and you shall be on their list as their go-to friend. Don’t hesitate to cut off those who are toxic and mean to you. You don’t owe them any allegiance and the sooner you get rid of the excess, dead weight – the better it is, the lighter you will be.

Have confidence in yourself. Don’t ever second guess yourself or your decisions. What you do or say will come instinctively to you and if you fall, own up to your mistakes and dust yourself and walk. Don’t fixate on your flaws – they are temporary and no one remembers them. If you aren’t happy about something about yourself – only you can do something about it. 

Take up a form of exercise – not just to be fit but to be calmer and stronger. Mental health is closely linked to physical health so take care of it well. Stay digitally ‘disconnected’ whenever you have the time to – as let me tell you, technology is going to rule over our lives and overwhelm us completely by the time you reach your 40’s.

Build your tribe of people who will love you and help you grow into a beautiful person inside out. Don’t let in negativity and gloom. Have fun, once in a while. Let your hair down and LIVE your life. Have more real friends than virtual ones. 

It's ok to say No – if you don’t want to do anything that goes against your beliefs. People may hate you for a while but they will never doubt your integrity. 

Read more than you already do – books are and will always be your best friend. You will never fall short of content in a discussion. Try to read books of different genres to get an overall exposure. The doors of opportunity open up for a well-read person.

You can question authority if you think there is a need for it. You can get your control by allowing yourself to ask questions if you disagree. Don’t feed into the fear of being disapproved, disliked of invalidated by the people, who assumedly, have the power over you. Believe me, they don’t.

You can make your life perfect by your standards and not by other people’s opinion of you. Don’t fall into the trap of pleasing people to feel good about yourself. You will feel used and your self-worth will take a hit. It's not worth it!

The stuff you are worrying about now, doesn’t really matter as it is soon going to be a thing of the past and you will have other newer things to worry about. Eventually everything is going to work out well. Worrying isn’t going to help, infact, it's going to sabotage your plan to succeed by delaying it. Accepting the fact that change is the only constant in your life will help you navigate easily through the curve balls life throws at you. 

Get over past hurts and move on. Obsessing with your past is only going to weigh you down and slow your progress. Get help to work on your issues as early as possible to be able to move on ‘baggage-less’. Not working on them will interfere with your relationships – and eventually you will have to address them. So sooner… the better…

Keep a balance between work, relationships and yourself. Don’t work too hard on one thing and neglect the others – all are equally important. When one is affected the rest are impacted too. You can accomplish anything with the right kind of balance.

Listen to the voice in your head when you feel something is off – most often it sure is! Your gut feeling will guide correctly and is never wrong. However scary, feel your fears and do them anyway. It's OK to fail and then get up again. Forgive yourself and be kind and compassionate to yourself.

Stay debt-free as much as possible. It's only going to add to your ‘excess baggage’. Build a good credit history and be proud of it. Save for an expense and don’t do it if you can't. You will have many opportunities to buy stuff in your life which are better and necessary. 

Don’t fill your void inside with food, drinks, shopping or any other vice that will temporarily give you some relief but the pain will be back. Address it with the right process and work on it. You will be cared for enough that you will not lack for anything that you did as a child. Don’t let your childhood experiences bitter your life today.

Last but not the least – Be grateful for what you are, what you have and what you’ve become. Start helping the less fortunate, however you can, – this will not only fill some of the void I was talking about, but also benefit someone and leave you with a warm feeling inside. It's the easiest way to feel happy. Giving your kindness to someone who needs it will ensure you getting back more of it. 

"You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough." -Mae West