Things I wish I had known earlier

We frequently think to ourselves in life, "I wish I knew this sooner." I wish I had learned this from someone. I wish I was aware of this information before beginning a certain task, job, friendship, or relationship. Of course, we are constantly learning and know what is best for ourselves. However, there are instances when it's beneficial to share certain experiences with coworkers, friends, or the connection, in general, to let them know that we are all on the same boat and that others might have already experienced what you might be experiencing?right now.

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We often hold back on talking about our individual experiences because we believe we don't have anything unique to say that hasn't already been said by everyone. But on one of the trips, I discovered how crucial it is to just communicate; occasionally, a single incident can inspire someone and give them hope that all will turn out to be okay in the end. So, I am sharing some of the things which I wish I had known earlier.

Stay Away from Toxic Positivity

Many individuals look up to motivational speakers and other role models for inspiration as the world becomes more competitive and the rat race intensifies. Nothing is wrong with it. However, in the process of striving to maintain constant motivation and positivity, people frequently start disregarding their actual emotions, have a tendency to dismiss negative thoughts without giving them much consideration, and, in many cases, become so obsessed with the concept and word "positivity" that they tend to punish or feel ashamed of themselves when they become negative about something or feel like giving up on something.

Try to accept all of your emotions rather than getting engaged in poisonous positivism. Consider your emotions carefully and find a healthy balance to determine what is best for you. Pay attention to your gut instincts; they usually prove to be accurate.

Identify Your Own Flaws

We frequently neglect to do our own analysis because we are preoccupied with what others think of us. When someone, whether it be our parents, coworkers, neighbors, or better halves/potential life partners, explains, shares, or criticizes one of our behavioral tendencies, many of us are almost certain to take note of it.

Being receptive to criticism and improving on it is a good thing. However, it's equally crucial to insert that GPS chip deep into the soul and determine whether your feelings are actually caused by you or by those around you. Have deep self-knowledge. So that no criticism can break you.

Emotional Independence is as Important as Financial Independence

We, as a society, talk too much about the importance of being financially independent but often forget to address emotional independence. This is equally important for all genders, but somehow, I feel this is more important for females. In my 10 years of career, I have seen so many female colleagues who are rocking and acing their job roles, but I have also seen them equally emotionally vulnerable.

Emotional independence is accepting that only you are responsible for your happiness and well-being. just like the way you have accepted that you can handle all your finances. Now go and watch that movie alone, or don’t feel guilty if you have already watched one without your friend or partner!!

Gratitude Over Jealousy

Learn to accept the fact that jealousy is a natural emotion. The degree to which emotions have control over you determines whether it is positive or negative. Except for saints who have given up the "Moh-Maya," it is common for humans to feel envious of others. It's acceptable to feel envious, but it's not acceptable to ignore your own blessings on account of that jealousy.

So, remember your blessings once you are done comparing yourself with that somebody, express your gratitude for those blessings, and get back to work. You can’t waste your time on jealousy. Remember, we are talking about being grateful but not lazy. There is a difference between these two. Always keep pushing your limits to be a better version of yourself rather than someone else.

It Cannot Be Always About You

Don’t confuse self-love and self-prioritizing with self-obsession. It cannot be always about you. Sometimes you get to play the second lead in the play called “life”. Learn to judge the situation and see who needs more attention or priority. When someone is sharing something, listen to them without telling them how great you are. Remember, in many movies, the second lead often wins more hearts than the main lead.

It’s about making your loved ones your priority, but I have not mentioned doing that at the cost of your own mental peace. Decide and design your boundaries, and know your limits to bear the pain of those sacrifices and compromises. I truly believe that there are always so many people who happily play a supporting role for the main protagonist of their lives, for instance, parents, in most cases.

Respect What You Do or What Serving Food on Your Plate

In a world full of Rancho, it’s ok to be as mediocre as Surinder Sahni (pardon me if you didn’t get the reference, but if you know, you know!!). Suddenly, we are in an era where a 9-to-5 job has become a synonym for slavery. Many young people feel compelled to criticize their jobs or companies just because it’s the trend. Why do we forget that our elders or parents have done such jobs or worse jobs than what we are doing for their entire life without being bad mouth about it for once?

There is nothing wrong if you are in love with that 9 to 5 job or love doing that extra hour’s job. Everything is OK as long as you are happy, earning, and able to fulfill the needs of your own and your family. Sometimes, you must keep doing what is best for you and your bank account!! Unless and until it’s not impacting your physical and mental well-being. With this, try to say no to that unnecessary gossip that is filling your head with negativity about your workplace or job role.

Be Humble and Don’t Try to Fit in

In life, you will come across many moments where you will find yourself out of place or feel unfit for a particular group or event. It’s perfectly normal to feel that way. The real issue is that many times we just sink in and forget who we are. We put so much effort into it just to have that feeling of belongingness, and we are ready to make an arbitrary number of adjustments and compromises for that. But, please understand, adjustment is one thing, and forgetting about self-respect while trying to fit in is another thing.

It’s good to say no to such practices, but it’s not okay to say it rudely. I have seen many people taking pride in saying no to many things with utter rudeness. Never forget humbleness while doing any of these acts, particularly when you are opposing or raising your voice against something. Being humble doesn't cost anything, and it's advised to maintain your modesty when the odds are stacked against you rather than regret being impolite in the future.

Aim High but Be Realistic

Since childhood, we have been told to aim high. But as we grow up, we often forget the second line of the same sentence, aim high, no issues. Even if you miss the moon, you will still shoot the star. We often carry the burden of becoming number one, getting promotions, skyrocketing hikes, and, majorly, the burden of other people’s judgment about our achievements. Of course, everyone aims high and plans to earn all the wealthy pleasures of life, but, while doing so, don’t get rigid and learn to be flexible with the outcomes. Try to seek a realistic approach and plan your journey accordingly.

Most people are scared of changing or just shifting their aim. Why? The aim was set by you, right? Then why can’t you update it? It’s not always about lowering it. Sometimes, if required, raise the bar, and if needed, just shift the aim a little bit. It’s normal as long as it’s getting you ahead in life and serves your ultimate goal. And while doing so, please, do not pay any attention to the judgmental society.

Respect Your Values—It’s OK to be Old Fashioned

With the rising social media craziness in many age groups, peer pressure remains at its peak. which often tends to make us forget or make us dislike our own values. We often feel more proud of becoming part of the trend and feel ashamed of the things our parents ask us to follow. The craze of trends is OK if you feel that’s what you are in actuality. But, if you are blindly following the same path and deep down you are someone who truly loves the old values and culture, be real and accept that.

It’s OK to be old-fashioned rather than fake. If you love to celebrate your birthday with your loved ones and in the coziness of your home, do that. Every time that rock 'n' roll party is not necessary. If you like to eat with your hands, fancy forks and spoons will not judge you. You are the smartest one if you have never said goodbye to those things, but if you have, then start making mental notes of things that come naturally to you and start incorporating those things one by one back into your life.

Learn New Skill Whenever Possible

I have heard my grandfather telling my father way too many times to cultivate a proper hobby, not just a time pass. He would often tell my father to learn a skill that could provide him with financial support if needed in a crisis. This is something I knew but never paid any attention to. But now I know that he was so right!!

One must learn a skill apart from the one they are doing to earn their bread and butter. If you are a corporate employee, invest your time and energy in cultivating a long-term hobby. In the current scenario of cutthroat competition and suffocating rat race, one cannot rely on a single skill or source of livelihood. If nothing at all, this skill will also help you unwind. Now pick up that guitar or renew the subscription to that music class and carry on!!

Summary

Age is just a number, but sometimes this number reflects the countless experiences and lessons a person has earned over the years. As you grow old, make sure to keep collecting this wisdom and be generous enough to share it with the needy. So, now whenever you feel that you have some experience that can help others to overcome difficulties in life or at least provide comfort to another human being, do share that experience.