The Things I Read - January 24, 2020
Hi All!
[This is the first post of this kind for me. It is more for me than anything else; it is a way for me to see trends of what I'm currently reading more of... In this past week for example, I read a lot of articles related to Growth and Love since I'm working through some heartache. It is my hope that you, the readers can use this resource as a way of skimming through various subjects and taking away some useful nuggets of knowledge that you can apply to your own lives.]
Here is your weekly dose of "Things I Read" - a list of all the readings I've done this past week. As usual, all articles are broken down into Growth, Love, Business, Science/Technology, Travel and Miscellaneous.
GROWTH
https://psiloveyou.xyz/so-about-your-ego-581b2f17fb54
Accept that you are the ocean and not the waves. All the things you go through, all the things you think you are. Those are just waves. By figuring out the enormity of yourself, you let go of the ego and let the ocean simply flow.
https://getpocket.com/explore/item/rethinking-discipline
Self-discipline may feel like a usable resource, that you can empty out, but it depends on the task, what you're doing.
https://medium.com/on-the-rise/the-power-of-controlling-your-own-story-b0ca097e38d
Controlling your own story matters. Re-frame your story and climb the mountain to the future you want.
It is important to walk your truth. In times when you are honest, you feel lighter. More free. Do what you can to Have more of that feeling.
https://medium.com/the-ascent/how-to-make-progress-when-you-are-terrified-1571cdf5a97a
1. Re-frame past failures
2. Accept that it's okay to be uncomfortable
3. Pick one tiny thing that will move you towards your goal
4. Be proud of how far you've come
"Ultimately what we regret is not failure, but the failure to act." - Adam Grant
https://getpocket.com/explore/item/how-to-make-hard-life-decisions
Hard decisions are hard because...
1. There are multiple answers
2, It is unclear how to evaluate the decision matrix
3. You cannot test through trial and error or choosing alternatives
To solve, try 5 methodologies.
1. Create a model (Take into things like preference, skill, work required, money, time, etc)
2. Go with your gut then check it
3. Simulate your decision and do your research
4. Would the person who made this decision do it again (Ask others for reviews and points of reference)
5. Ask future you whether or not it was a good idea
https://medium.com/@1sabel/why-rejection-is-actually-good-for-you-b50f486e686e
Rejection follows the same neurological pathways as physical pain so the pain you feel is real.
Rejection threatens your need to belong.
- Cycle through negative emotions
- Seek and destroy mission of the flaws within (However it gives you the illusion of control because you take blame (over yourself) when faced with something you couldn’t control (someone else)
- Growing up with critical parents, you hone the illusion of “if only I can be good enough, they will love me."
It’s not really about you.
The truth is that it isn’t you that was rejected, but the outcome you had hoped for.
Solution> 1. Be honest about your motives.
“If you can understand that life is about learning and growing, expanding not contracting, and that the Universe has something better in store for you, then the pain of rejection is a choice you can forgo.”
Rejection is an invitation for you to adjust course.
It doesn’t want you to settle for second best so it offers you a chance for something much better, something that’s truly right for you.
Do not chase the particular illusion that you could change this particular outcome if only you performed better.
You can’t change other peoples criteria to match yours. Nor do you need to.
Make rejection work for you. Not against you.
Imagine a life where rejection no longer makes you feel bad about yourself. Instead it uncovers deeper happiness and better opportunities.
It is only there where you will find your peace.
(I read this one a bunch since I feel like I was recently rejected by someone I loved and the hurt was incredible and tremendous)
https://getpocket.com/explore/item/tapping-into-the-power-of-humble-narcissism
Humble Narcissism are qualities the best companies and leaders have. Humble narcissists have grand ambitions, but they don’t feel entitled to them. They don’t deny their weaknesses; they work to overcome them.
Types of humility
- Ideas
- Performance
- Culture - Instead of recognizing culture fit, recognize culture contribution. What elements of our culture is lacking that other people can bring? Questions to ask from a company.
The moment you get excited about a new background, a new skill set or a new base of experience is the moment you have to diversify again, and this requires real humility.
Maintaining humility requires you to surround yourself with people who keep you honest, who tell you the truth you may not want to hear but need to hear, and who hold you accountable if you don’t listen to them.
LOVE
https://medium.com/@sarahhelenaustin/how-to-deal-with-unrequited-love-505e808007c4
A mighty pain to love it is,
And ’tis a pain that pain to miss;
But of all pains, the greatest pain
It is to love, but love in vain.
How to deal with unrequited love is to just tell them how you feel and if they don’t feel the same way, move on.
Believe that it should be easy. Believe the other person should want to put in just as much effort as you.
This is especially difficult for someone like me who doesn't love themselves. It is something I am actively working on this year.
https://medium.com/stoked-project/its-not-you-it-s-us-5d4debc0edce
Key point: Something I resonate with is: I want to shift with purpose, curiosity and enthusiasm. I don’t just want to grow old with someone, I want to grow wiser.
The more time we spend with someone, the more likely ‘emotional convergence’ (EC) occurs. Means we think the same, feel the same. One is more likely to experience satisfaction in a relationship when “EC” occurs.
The problem is the lack of independent thought. Exploration. Change. Growth.
- Unevaluated Routines
- Established Roles
- Inability to Empathize
Resources:
Where should we begin - Podcast with Esther Perel - episodes are one time couple therapy sessions. Increases empathy and communication skills
On Being - Podcast with Krista Tippett - Talks about the questions for finding meaning in the 21st century
BUSINESS
https://leowid.com/2019-2/?utm_source=pocket&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=pockethits
Takeaways from interviewing 101 CEO’s
- We’re just big bags of emotion walking around. “The hardest thing about starting a business isn’t the strategy or even endless work, it’s dealing with the psychological and emotions that is the hardest of hard things."
- Power comes with the ability to receive “No.” - What’s the worst thing that can happen usually isn’t that big of a deal.
- Learn to manage your focus, not your time. - What events/people/things aren’t serving your energy anymore and what things/people/events are. Underline those events and place our focus there.
- Detachment is not non-attachment. - Be like water, let emotions come and feel them and realize they don’t want to stick around if we really see and feel them.
- Who are you willing to continue to become, even after you’ve accomplished some success? What are you willing to risk, to continue going in the direction that is calling you?
- Enduring gets us far, but I don’t think that’s what life is for. To let go of that belief and to allow a new one to emerge, often one rooted in love and joy, is scary and takes courage.
- When we allow ourselves to create our boundaries and learn to state them firmly, we are able to live our lives in peace and relaxation. This is because we can now trust into our boundaries to protect us, with a good dose of healthy aggression when we need it. And we can let down our guard for the moments where that isn’t necessary and create deep connection with other humans.
- Self-care is not a means to work even harder. It is a servant to us in our humanity, in the same way, that our work is.
MISCELLANEOUS
It does not always make sense to buy in bulk. Keep in account that food goes bad etc. Also because you have so much, you could forget where you put things. Knowing when to and when not to buy in bulk is an asset for keeping finances in check.
Money controls Politics.
https://getpocket.com/explore/item/the-end-of-owning-music-how-cds-and-downloads-died
Streaming has killed downloads and Vinyl has killed CD's.
Cars are being built without CD players and that has killed the industry. Artists are taking notice.
Bruce Springsteen released newest album in only Vinyl format, not CD.
CD sales fell from 450 million to 89 million.
Downloads plummeted 58 percent since 2012.
Senescent cells stop dividing during stress and can lead to conditions such as cancer, heart disease, diabetes, and dementia etc.
Senolytics is a new study of how to remove or disrupt the action of senescent cells - thus anti-age.
Mute button was invented in 1956 by Robert Adler - Australian working for the Zenith Radio Co in Chicago. It was one of 4 buttons on Space Command 400 a TV remote controller. Originally invented so that viewers could “Mute” the commercials which may destroy the medium of TV.
Uber recently implemented “Quiet please” in its services. Many drivers think of it as being quite rude - a seemingly nicer way to say “shut up.”
Many companies are now looking at ways to use bio-audio devices as a way to tune out the world. There may be a time soon where you’re able to literally in real life ‘block’ someone.
https://getpocket.com/explore/item/the-secret-tricks-hidden-inside-restaurant-menus
Food industry has spent billions of dollars on menu engineering.
First thing noticed is the weight of the menu. Heavier menus equal a higher end establishment
Round typeface = sweet. Angular typeface = salty, sour or bitter experience.
Giving dishes descriptive names can increase sales up to 27%
Removing the $ sign can reduce the pain as $ reminds the diner they’re spending money
TRAVEL
Things to do in Maui
Where to see lavender fields and castles in France
Which airlines are better - American versus Delta. Delta wins because of human factor. Whenever it comes to anything, people will always remember how you made them feel, not necessarily what you said. REMEMBER THAT and PRACTICE IT.
*** HOLY EFFING SH*T BALLS! *** I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU READ ALL OF THAT...
If you seriously read all of that give yourself a MASSIVE pat on the back. Please give me some feedback about what you liked, didn't like and how I could make it better for you to get the most of it.
Thank you again for taking the time to learn.
Director, Programs
4 年Saving this for the weekend read - thanks for sharing!?
Nicholas Ning loved every word. Thanks for sharing. Read “ The Prophet” by Khalil Gibran, if you haven’t already. I think you will like it.