Things I Murmur At Times/ Umbrella For Rainy Days
‘When in doubt , pick up a dictionary.’ I think those days have been consigned to flames. Today , it’s either google or Wikipedia . In fact , that’s what I lazily did one morning when I was lost in my thoughts over the definition of ‘family.’ I was actually disappointed a bit as wikipedia ( ….by the way they call it free encyclopedia ) has a 5’9’’ inches type longish definition of a family. It starts with something like this ; ………… as a group of people linked with each other through an ancestral thread, marriage or adoption…bla bla … actually I don’t see any reason to differ with the generic description, but then random thoughts started pouring into my empty head as I was reading the free encyclopaedia. “A family is a small world of people within a bigger world where members are emotionally attached to each other.” That seem to me a perfect depiction. Today , a bigger family always exists …. that we often accidentally discover in ceremonies like a marriage or death. In any such event , the younger ones are energetically paraded before the distant elders for introduction and blessings. You wonder where were they …all these years. You faintly somehow try to remember them as seeing them somewhere. No idea where ? They ,too, try hard to look at you with their tiring eyes. But as soon as the ceremony gets over , the family hangover or the attachment also vanishes fast from your mind ( unless or until you happen to encounter a gorgeous looking distant cousin ? ).
You soon retrieved to your small world. As they say , small is beautiful , the emotional bonding of a family also exists in small batches. Being a die hard cynical, I really question the artificial bonding of a so called family because most of the time the ‘family’ survives because of financial insecurity or emotional needs. Guys I’m really serious. If you look around , the world of family works perfectly in harmony so long as the gullible younger ones in the family obeys the advise of elders and also respect their ways of doing things in life. The day you decide to go against their wishes, the family disintegrates fast. The things like ego, hatred, jealousy takes over. I have seen many families surviving purely on a thin thread of convenience where sibling needs the elders more as a caretaker than anything else. There are also material things that bind a family where the elder of a family has shit load of money stashed in banks and property. But there are also instances of family splitting up when the younger ones way of doing things doesn’t matches with the elders or the arrival of a new member or a spouse creates some disharmony without any reasons.
There are times when the younger ones grow bigger or larger money-wise , intellectually or fame and status. As a result , they have little time to spend with elders in the family. In such a case, elders suddenly become a burden to carry. Many a times, elders have no option but to obey the younger ones way of doing things by living an insignificant life or move out from the family.
I firmly believe that a ‘family’ never vanishes. It’s only the new people who steps in to be part of a new family.
“A family is a place where minds come in contact with one another.” Buddha (563BC-483 BC) Founder of Buddhism
“Man is the head of the family, woman the neck that turns the head.” A Chinese Proverb