Things I Learned from Terrible Bosses.

*Disclaimer: This is not an attack on any former bosses I’ve had, nor is it a reflection of any company I’ve worked for. This is simply a summary of observations I’ve made directly or indirectly in my career.

Being a leader is no joke. It’s a huge responsibility that some of us are lucky enough to bear. Whether leading an entire organization to success or a single millennial to Friday, leadership requires, above all else, vision and heart. Without those critical components, you’re just a manager trying to get $#*! done. With them in stow, you can be great; and, what’s more, you can inspire greatness in others.

But I actually don’t want to write about great leaders. I want to tell you about the terrible ones and what I’ve learned from them.

Hire people better than you. If you could do it all, well, you would. But it turns out, you have 50,974 other things to do, so you’ve hired a team. You’ve spend money and hours finding and bringing on that team of people to do what you need them to do. So, instead of spending more hours in the nitty gritty of the work they’re doing, just let them do it. Easier said than done, right? Unfortunately, many of us are so addicted to our work and #winning that our level of dependency on knowing every little in and out of the day to day is literally suffocating not only our own success, but the success of the very teams we manage.

Instead, empower. Instead, inspire. Instead, trust yourself and the truth that if you brought this team or person on to do a job, that they will do it. Focus on finding the greatness within your team, not the flaws.

Stop talking. Start listening. How many meetings have you been in where your boss laments on and on…and on and on…and next thing you know, the meeting is over and you don’t recall what was said, or what the priorities are, or when the last time was that someone smiled in the meeting. As leaders, we want to provide vision…we want to provide strategy…we…um, okay, what we really want is to tell people what to do. But, that’s inherently where we’re missing the point.

Instead, be curious. Instead, learn to be comfortable in the silence. Instead, ask your team how you can support them in their work. When you become more interested in someone else’s ideas or feelings, you’d be surprised what may you learn about yourself.

ABL: Always Be Learning. Is it any surprise that “my way, or the highway” thinking has no place in great leadership? If this comes as a real shock to you, I suggest you spend some quality time with Michael Jackson’s 1987 hit, “Man in the Mirror”. Partly because it’s a great song and who doesn’t like M.J., and partly because “you gotta make that change!” Thinking you’re right all the time and expecting others to meet your exceedingly high standards is going to leave you with more frustration in your career than a pop star with a bad nose job.

Instead, remember that leaders must be learners. Instead, embrace new and different ways of thinking and doing business, and do it often. Lead with a continuous improvement mindset, and your team will follow.

Fail often. Fail forward. Waiting until anything is perfect is a perfectly good waste of time. A leader I actually really admire once told me about the 70/30 rule. “Don’t try to get everything to 100% - get it to 70% and use the rest of the energy to plan its next iteration.” That is, don’t be afraid to push and stretch your team, but also don’t let the expectation that everything will be perfect slow you down. There’s something really visceral about accomplishment, and if you’re spending more time blocking shots than supporting goals, chances are your team is eagerly waiting for the end of the game.

Instead, take risks with imperfection. Instead, champion your team’s efforts and coach them to greatness. When you unquestionably fail (because you have, and you will continue to do so), brush yourself off and share what you learned. Your team will appreciate the vulnerability more than the whip.

As I said earlier, leadership is no joke. And even the best leaders stumble.

That’s why the greatest gift you can give to those you lead is compassion. Because, without a doubt, you’re going to want some of that yourself, too.

In other words, don’t be a Michael Scott, and you’ll probably be okay.

What lessons have you learned from terrible bosses? Leave or comment or share your story with me at [email protected].