The Things I Learned from a Broken Heart

I was heartbroken when this photo was taken

I was going through my photos today and found this one of the day I graduated with my Masters in Business Administration.

I was so proud of myself!

It was two years of hard, hard work and sacrifices for this moment.

I had also met the love of my life, my international airline pilot, and gotten engaged, only to nurse him through his massive depression - only to be told that I had caused it.

He couldn't cope with any form of adversity and the thought of marrying a woman with an 8 year old child was too much like hard work, even though he was 12 years older than me and theoretically more mature.

I was utterly shattered, especially after nursing him through two suicide attempts and literally never leaving his side throughout it all.

I loved him so much and I loved the home we had together.

It was his but looked like an unloved bachelor pad when I moved in.

I rolled up my sleeves and decorated it to make it a home, our home.

I adored him and was also so excited when he came home from his long trips.

I'd clean the house and change the sheets, then be up at 5 to collect him from the airport.

We travelled together, sailed together, watched Seinfeld together every weekday, played cards late at night in front of the fireplace together and were inseparable.

Or at least, so I thought.

I didn't spend that much time with my classmates or build friendships with them because Ash's friends were so important to him, so I poured my energy into them.

Well, I can tell you that they turned their back on me pretty fast after we broke up.

I may as well have contracted the plague.

So whilst I graduated with an MBA, which was, I don't know if it still is, one heck of a tough degree to get through, so an achievement, I had also lost the beautiful life I thought lay ahead of me, my fiance and my home.

In the snap of someone's fingers, I was homeless, jobless and alone, because 12 hours after we broke up, I was on a plane back to my parent's home on the Gold Coast (where there were no jobs for the type of work I did).

A bright spot was that I kept our two puppies - those he would have to have prised from my cold dead fingers - and they went on to give me years of unconditional love and joy

I learned:

1. The love of a partner does not define your value as a human being.
2. Never move into your partner's home. If you want to live together, find a new one together
3. Grow your own circle of friends. Don't focus on your partners' friends at the expense of your own.
4. A dog will give you the purest, most unconditional form of love that you can imagine, and I will always need and have AT LEAST one, preferably a rescue. ??
5. Don't let love blind you. Never take your eye off ensuring you can take care of yourself independently of your partner. The best thing a woman can do for herself is ALWAYS ensure she can stand on her own two feet.

ONE OF THE PUREST FORMS OF LOVE YOU CAN GIVE YOURSELF IS TO BACK YOURSELF, CHASE YOUR DREAMS AND START YOUR OWN BUSINESS.

Of course, it's not the only one, but it's a damn good place to start!