Things I Learned on a Break

Back in July I wrote this article. I made my mission for August clear - I was only going to work for 20 hours over the whole month. It was a purposeful, strategic move to allow me more space and time with the family, my own thinking, and with the world at large.

You don’t need to work every hour of the day to make progress. You don’t need to have all the clients all the time to be a success. You work hard and you’re out on the front line every damn day doing your thing. You can slow down for a while. You can refocus yourself.

Now, since we are already into the thick of September and life is splurging itself all over the place, I want to recount the journey and share my learnings. Because I have learned things; hoo-wee mama I have learned things! As with my previous article this is not a ‘do as I do’ guide to getting your own shit done but a brief look at the insights of a tired human who - as much as he would like to think otherwise - knows that you can’t have it all and don’t need to, either.

Now, if you’re sitting comfortably; let’s begin…

How much did I actually work and what did I do?

Over the course of August I worked 39.7 hours according to Tyme (my time-tracking app); there were a couple of extra tacked on either side because our summer break spanned a little of July and September, too.

I worked most of my time in the morning between 8:00 and 10:00. It was the optimal time to get in the mode while the day was waking up (and before the kids started screaming at me or each other).

I worked 24 days out of the month. There was no boundary between week day / weekend because I was striking while the iron was hot. There was an almost-full-week of switch-off, too, which was lovely.

I worked, on average, 1hr 45m a day. This is a BIG average because some days when there weren’t ‘tasks to do’ I was dropped 15 minutes into social media and that was it. A few others days - where I had calls and coaching sessions - I’d rack up a full day. Thankfully, those were the days when my son was at his respite centre.

Do I feel badly for working more than I said?

No, not at all. The entire month was within my control because I said it was going to be. I didn’t head down (too many) tangents and stayed focussed on the absolute bare bones, foundational stuff that I believed needed my attention. The ‘extra hours’ weren’t because I ‘needed’ to have them in there to get all the work done; it just turned out that my iron was hot, the opportunity was ripe, and I was able to make the most of it.

There’s a huge learning here that - when you really boil down what you’re doing - the amount that really needs to be done is very slim. And with that, I want to share my biggest learnings of the month.

Here's a snappy title for 'The Stuff that I Learned'

When I sat down to consider what I’d taken away from this experiment I was surprised. Not only was I able to pull a list together quickly, none of it felt contrived or falsified. Plus, the outcomes I achieved kinda spoke for themselves.

1. Taking time away to ‘not do’ let me hear the noise my past work is making and boy, did I like what I heard

“Oh, look! Tom’s found another metaphor!” is what you might be thinking right now (because you know I love one of those).

When you are in the thick of ‘doing’ your head is immersed in the noise your creating makes: the clack of a keyboard; the buzz of the coffee machine; the ting-ting-ting of the notifications that pump you full of dopamine and pull you full circle into a noisier environment.

This was me. I’d spent weeks - months! - with my nose to the grindstone on client projects, balancing all of life’s challenges, and ‘just trying to make it through’. There was so much going on and every aspect made a distinct sound. All of those sounds were cacophonous and it was a lot to deal with.

By taking the month ‘out’ of the natural order of things (which, by the way, I call bullshit on because we make our own order) I was able to silence the noise of many contributors. No networking; no events; no clients (we’ll come to that in a moment); no major projects that drained the well.

I was able to step back and let everything I had done to that point have its space and time to make its own noise. And what did I hear? I heard the world singing to me in harmony. I heard tiny resonant notes from individuals who were suddenly singing my song. I heard the sound of my own heartbeat and breathing at a pace that didn’t warrant concern for being too fast or too shallow because I’d had too much coffee!

I heard the sound of people reaching out and asking for help in their way. Which is precisely what happened with the three individuals I spoke with who all became coaching clients thought the month of August. THREE! I truly believe that by turning down my amp the rest of the world was able to join in and sing with me.

2. My brain opened up quickly to let old things out and new things in; IDEAS happened

I have three or four spaces where I collect ideas for content, for workshops, for coaching tools, for music. It’s important for me to have these spaces lest I lose something that might be useful one day. That ‘one day’ though hadn’t really come around for a long while … the buckets were just getting fuller and harder to carry. It’s amazing having all the ideas - after all; that’s what creative people do - but if you don’t do anything with them you’re just left carrying a heavy load. Chances are, too, that a lot of the good stuff spills over and becomes lost because you’re trying too hard to hold on to the things that came before.

In the space I made throughout August my thinking slowed down. It’s always a worry for creatives that their ideas might dry up; I know it was for me, even six weeks ago. But what my down-time proved is that you - we, me, I, us - need space; you need time; you need quiet; you need to let your mind go easy on itself.

I took some time to clear out my buckets of old ideas; old notes that had no context and didn’t ring a bell. It felt kinda good to tip all this stuff away because, the moment I did, my brain warmed up and new things came to life. I’ve been very careful not to overfill the buckets and actually do something with the ideas; if only sorting them and labelling them properly so that when I do come to act I know what my script is.

3. Everything becomes more focussed, slower - days can be days, the hours don’t matter

This is an oddity but something which I hope you take to heart. After all that’s done in the day - the time spent on jobs and then switching between jobs, especially - we never really know where we are or where we’ve been. Life seems to move so fast that we literally blink and miss it.

I felt like I’d slowed to a standstill at times. A feeling I mostly managed to let go but it was slowness nevertheless. Once I acknowledged that my slowness was not a bad thing I became present in what I was doing: playing Lego with the kids; watching movies; cooking; going for a walk.

These activities weren’t measured hour-on-hour; there was no time blocking. The hours didn’t matter. The hour’s don’t matter. It’s the days that count. The bigger picture periods where you just live a little and make the most of what’s in front of you.

It felt odd coming back into a month where I then had chunks of time to manage out. However, my perception of ‘time’ in general, has shifted. The day is - really - the smallest measure that’s needed because the hours will take care of themselves when your mind is healthy, happy, and ready to go.

4. I want to take better care of myself; the past months of rushing have taken their toll

Something we made a big ol’ effort to do over the break was to cook and cook well. If you know me you’ll know I love my food (and drinks) and taking the time to prepare, cook, and eat well is something extremely important to me. The kitchen is one of few sanctuaries I have in my house; being able to share it with people is heartening. My kids, too, like their food so being able to experiment and find new things to try is a boon.

I knew that - after a few days of being ‘on a break’ - I’d not been looking after myself as well as I could have been. Our diets had slipped into ‘quick’ eating rather than considered meals; we’d found shortcuts to brief energy rather than sustaining provisions. I became vegan to all intents and purposes about a year ago (no meat, no dairy at least) and being able to double-down on wholesome, plant-first food has been a joy.

I tell you … the things I can whip up with a cauliflower and a couple of handfuls of salad!

Moving through the month and into September I have made a concerted effort to get to know my cookbooks better, know my pantry, and be ready to make food when it’s needed. My schedule is now even more tightly locked to make sure there is time at the end of each day for a wholesome meal, together, as a family.

I will at some point squeeze more exercise in because my middle tyre hasn’t moved anywhere for a long, long time. Everything in moderation, though …

5. I realise how much I’ve let go to get to where I am, what I can start to bring back, and what else needs to go

The months preceding August were heavy-weight. Lots of deep, high-thinking client work in the UX space which consumed me; maybe to a fault (see my last note on looking after myself). I never begrudge this work because I enjoy it and am good at it but, over time, I have come to realise what I have been able to let go of and still maintain a positive, satisfying life.

I no longer take short-term gig work for design jobs. I like order and control in my work and this kind of thing chucks way too many cats amongst the pigeons. I also don’t do any prospecting work; I will not, under any circumstance, work for free, exposure, or connections. I’m too long in the tooth and too well-seasoned to know that this does not pay off (and please don’t try to extol the virtues of shared-experience-working or ‘getting in the right door’ … I’m forty years old and am able to open enough doors with a little graft, thank you!)

I know, too, that I can start to bring back my presence online. I let a lot of things go in that space; I no longer have Threads, Twitter, TikTok, Instagram, Facebook … none of it. LinkedIn is my only online playground outside of networking events. I’ve had enough time away to know that, if I wanted to, I could explore another avenue as a way to build audience and potential revenue. Only because it is within mycontrol and I want to, not because I feel I need to in any way.

Lastly, I know that I have a few ties to cut and a few loose ends to wrap up. I believe in connections and community but having some extraneous ends which keep bleeding into my path, making the ground sticky … I don’t need it. So? They have to go.

6. “Projects” take time; everything deserves more time given to it to get it ‘right’ - rushing an idea serves no purpose

I tried to shoehorn an entire project for my beloved Good Business Club into a series of weeks. What a bloody idiot. Of course I knew that good work takes time but, in my eternal optimism and predilection for only seeing the best in my abilities, I’d assured myself that I could get down to it and get it done.

Needless to say I managed to uncover more holes and questions than I could fill or answer in the time I knew I had and was able to make available. The project was shelved and we will definitely be better for it.

Please, peeps. Don’t rush your work!

7. For all the busyness, I have been working almost at my capacity but also nowhere near my potential for too long

This was an eye-opening but ‘What the hell? Why didn’t I spot this?’ revelation. In the run up to the summer holiday I felt like I was flat out - piling hours into LinkedIn, writing content, trying to land clients, worrying, stressing, indulging my anxiety. The bucket of unused ideas was overflowing and yet I hadn’t -made- anything.

I’d literally been spending months making busywork for myself. Filling my time but not tapping into nearly enough of what I am actually capable of (likely in less time, too!). What a crock!

Coming into September I -know- that I am capable of tackling some of the ‘big things’ I want to do, show up for people as I want to, and still enjoy running this business all without cooking myself like a frog in a pot.

TL;DR - Busy does not mean effective.

8. I have to give up control in many places and it is not comfortable

When you’ve got kids, plans go out the window as soon as they’re made. Planning is only as good as your willingness to change. Controlling situations that might normally feel manageable is entirely unfeasible. I tell you … giving up microns of things which I’d normally have locked down made my skin crawl for a minute.

Don’t get me wrong; I am -not- a control freak. I have spent a very long time exploring my own circle of influence and the aspects of life which I do not need to concern myself with. You have to know these things when you’re running a business otherwise - and see item 7 on this list - you’ll end up spinning your wheels, getting nowhere.

But! When all I want to do is spend half an hour drinking a coffee, reading a book, and resetting my head and I’ve got a kid shouting about something insane and another using the sofa as a trampoline ... it gets pretty uncomfortable if I try to hold on the notion that I can be ‘in charge’ of the situation. A fools’ errand. I - you, we - have to let it go and consider what you’re doing in the moment, let it go, and (as hard as it is) enjoy it all for what it is.

What did I win?

It wouldn’t be a fair reflection if I didn’t look back and consider what I’d come away with. While I don’t actively consider myself ‘output driven’ being able to say ‘Well, shit, I did THAT STUFF!’ is for the most part delightful. Plus it is a reminder of my own success (which is always nice).

Deep focussed time spent with my family. Five weeks where we were genuinely able to enjoy each others’ company and get to relearn one another.

Booped a zebra on the nose. 10/10 would recommend. It made my day!

Read two books. Steven Pressfield’s The War of Art and RZA’s The Tao of Wu were both read cover to cover, well-digested, and enjoyed. The nature of both lends them very nicely to a ‘only got five minutes here’ readers’ life.

Launched the Tiny Rebellions newsletter. Who in their right mind would launch a bloody newsletter in the middle of the UK summer holiday? It turns out this guy would, did, and made a decent splash. I have to thank Katie Skelton for all her help in getting this past the post, too!

Signed three coaching clients. I can’t even begin to celebrate this enough. Three utterly amazing individuals all decided to come and work with me as their coach. We’ve had our sessions, unlocked a whole bunch of amazing insights, and got to spend truly meaningful time together.

Myriad new connections in my network on and off LinkedIn. Because I took the time to -focus- on what I was doing with my social media I found a host of -my kind of people- with whom I could connect. It made a huge difference, too, setting myself to receive rather than broadcast; by not being 'on' all the time I was way more capable of listening and pay attention to what was going on around me.

Coming back into September with a renewed focus and ‘ready’ outlook. This is the crux of it all. I won the freakin' gold here. Once routine had returned - family back to work and school, diary squared away - my energy flywheel was spinning fast. I was ready to go like a boxer bouncing foot to foot in their corner. While we - I, you - know that taking a break is good for you the compound benefit effects of stopping -multiple- things in one go far outstrip the individual things on their own.

So there you go. There's the experiment. This motivation is only just beginning; there'll be plenty more riffs on this in future, if not for me but to help others do the same. If you want some help doing it for yourself, please give me a shout! I'd love to talk more with you about it.

I'm Tom Jepson and I'm a coach for rebellious creatives. I'm here to help you do more of what you want, less of what you don't, and do it all in a way that makes you feel like you can take on the world and win!

Ready to get the kind of support you deserve? Let's talk. Drop me a DM or book a call from the link in my profile.