Things I hate writing, including Christmas cards
They say if you’re a writer, you can write anything. Yeah, but what about all the things you don’t want to write? I enjoy writing as much as the next person, but some stuff really gets my dander up. Particularly festive shit…
“Yeah, but you’re a writer” they say. “You should be good at this stuff”. And? Just because I write for a living, doesn’t mean I relish all things writing-related.
In no particular order, here are seven things I hate writing, including Christmas cards.
Christmas cards
With all the pre-written crap that comes in Christmas cards these days, I’m amazed people add anything to them at all. And yet on we go, writing the same rubbish year in, year out. Dear X. Have a great Christmas. Yours repeatedly, Y. What a waste of ink.
Christmas thank you notes
The only thing worse than a Christmas card is a thank you note for one. Not least if the thank you note is for someone you never speak to and never see. Granted, thank you notes are good manners and all that, but so is covering your mouth when you yawn (which no one does).
Wishlists
If there’s one thing I hate, it’s a wishlist. Whether an Amazon list or a hand-written one, wishlists are a pain to write and an even bigger pain to manage. I should know – I had to practically force people to tick stuff off my list this year that they bought.
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Birthday invitations
Please come to my party. There’ll be cake. To think I used to send out these invites once upon a time on Facebook – what a schmuck. Not only would I labour for hours over the wording of them, I’d also spunk just as many words on the follow-up messages. Have you seen this? Are you coming? Never again.
Holiday itineraries
Nothing like a good getaway to ease the mind and soothe the soul But, wait – what’s this? A holiday itinerary, you say? Sounds fun! Hold up - what do you mean I have to write it? All trips away need their fair share of planning, but a step-by-step planner - really? Way to kill the spontaneity of holidaying.
Text messages
I dunno what’s worse – the bad grammar in texting or all the stupid rules that come with it. Either way, I loathe texting. Then there’s the autocorrect function – what a crock of shit. As if writing isn’t automated enough these days. ?
Academic essays
My academic writing days are long behind me – and thank Christ! With their formal tone, poncy vocabulary and even poncier citations, academic essays are the antipathy of fun and the pinnacle of boring. It’s the lecturers I feel sorry for – what a thing to mark.
So, there you have it. Seven things I hate writing, including Christmas cards. Do you hate writing this stuff? Have I missed anything? Leave a comment below and keep the discussion going.