These Things Even Your Co-Workers Won’t Share with You (and Why You Shouldn’t Either)

The workplace can feel like a second home—complete with its own “work family.” While it's great to build relationships with colleagues, some things are better left unsaid. Here’s a list of things that your co-workers will rarely tell you and why you should keep these things to yourself, too.

1. Their Actual Salary (and Yours, Too)

Even if salary transparency is promoted, many people still prefer to keep their pay private. Sharing or comparing salaries with colleagues can breed jealousy, competition, and even resentment, especially if there’s a discrepancy. Salary discussions can be sensitive, and it’s usually safer (and more professional) to keep those numbers to yourself.

2. Their Real Career Goals

Most people have aspirations beyond their current job, whether that’s a dream role, a side hustle, or even a whole new career. Sharing these goals can sometimes backfire, especially if they reveal ambitions that could lead them to another company. Likewise, revealing your own career aspirations may lead others to question your commitment to the team, which could affect opportunities or promotions.

3. Workplace Grievances or Criticisms of Leadership

Complaining about bosses, policies, or co-workers is a slippery slope. While you may feel a momentary release from venting, these conversations can create a negative environment and may even make their way back to leadership. If you’re feeling unhappy with certain aspects of the job, it’s usually better to approach HR or a supervisor rather than sharing grievances with peers.

4. Their Side Hustles

Side hustles are common, but they’re also often personal. Many people worry that if their manager finds out, they’ll be seen as less dedicated or might face scrutiny. If you have a side hustle, think carefully before bringing it up at work; it can lead others to question your focus or loyalty. Unless it’s relevant to a work project, it’s best to keep your side hustle on the down-low.

5. How They Really Feel About Team Members

We’ve all had days where a co-worker’s behavior gets on our nerves. But sharing honest opinions about others can be risky, and it can easily get back to the person involved. Most people avoid sharing these feelings because it could damage relationships or create unnecessary conflict. Similarly, it’s usually wise to keep your own critical opinions to yourself—especially if it’s just a temporary frustration.

6. Personal Financial Struggles

Financial issues are deeply personal, and co-workers generally avoid discussing them to prevent potential judgment or pity. Sharing financial struggles at work can sometimes shift perceptions, and it could even influence how your contributions are valued. Instead, keep money matters private and seek support outside the workplace if you need it.

7. Any Desire to Leave the Company

Even if someone is actively job-hunting, they’ll likely keep this information to themselves. Talking about wanting to leave can damage credibility, lead to fewer opportunities, and make your manager think twice about involving you in long-term projects. If you’re contemplating a job change, keep your plans private until you’re ready to make a move.

8. Health Concerns

While we’re all human and everyone has struggles, health issues are often kept private due to fear of judgment or pity. Even though companies are generally supportive, some people may worry that sharing health concerns could make others see them as less reliable. Unless it directly impacts your work or you need accommodations, it’s okay to keep health matters private.

9. The True State of Their Mental Health

The stigma around mental health has lessened, but it’s still a personal and often private topic. Co-workers may avoid sharing struggles with anxiety, depression, or burnout out of fear that it could affect how they’re perceived. If you’re going through a tough time, consider seeking support from close friends or mental health professionals instead of colleagues.

10. Their Work-Life Balance Struggles

Balancing work and personal life is a challenge for many, but most won’t openly admit if they’re struggling. Talking about work-life imbalance can sometimes be perceived as complaining, and it may not be received well by all colleagues. Instead, find strategies that work for you, and if needed, talk to a supervisor about solutions.

In Conclusion: Some Things Are Best Kept Private

While building relationships at work is valuable, boundaries are equally important. Remember, professionalism often requires us to keep certain details private to maintain a positive, productive workplace atmosphere. The key takeaway? Some things are best left unshared—for your benefit and that of your team.