Things aren’t always as they appear
Amanda Sillars
BPsycSc ?Psychoeducation, Family Focused, Children’s Rights & Advocacy ???
I hate you...
I am not allowed to love you.
You have never been a good parent...
I have been forced to rewrite history; I don’t know how to repair this damage.
I don’t want to see you...
I want to see you, but it causes me so much grief. After I return from every visit I see anger or sadness, I have to push you far away so it doesn’t hurt as much.
It is all your fault...
I am hurting inside, I need someone to blame and I don’t know why it’s you.
These are my feelings, what do you know...
I can’t think and feel for myself anymore. The thoughts and feelings I have are not my own, please understand.
I didn’t lie...
I gave into the interrogation after every visit. I told them what they wanted to hear to take the pressure off. I am sorry, I didn’t know what to do anymore.
No one likes you, you have no friends...
I am sorry everyone around us have been told lies and have believed them, you don’t deserve this.
I am not coming with you today...
I am sorry, the pressure got too much. Everything keeps getting blown out of proportion. It is easier for me not to see you.
Go away...
When you’re around, the pressure is worse; I retract because it hurts less.
It’s none of your business what grades I get...
I love it when you praise me for my achievements, but I can’t show it.
Don’t buy me gifts...
I am told you’re trying to buy my love, but I love it when I am allowed to keep your thoughtful gifts.
Stop all this legal action, your causing us so much pain and money...
I don’t understand that you’re fighting for what is right and to have me back in your life again.
You have never been there for me...
I wish you were here right now, like you always were, so kind and loving.
Don’t call me...
I have someone listening over my shoulder, prompting me to be hateful and defiant.
I don’t care about how you feel…
When you tell me how sad you are, I feel guilty and cannot cope.
Don’t tell me what to do, your not my parent anymore...
I am sorry for everything I have done, it is not my fault, I am stuck.
Leave me alone...
I am angry and sad about everything, please don’t abandon me. Stay near, even though I cannot reach out to you.
I don’t care what happens to you...
I need you to look after you, so you can be there for me, when I get out of this horrible mess.
You don’t love me, you never have...
Please don’t give up, I need your love.
I don't want to live with you...
I need someone to lift this pressure off me. I should never be forced to choose between parents.
All people see is a child rejecting a parent. Alienated children are stuck in emotional turmoil, protective of the emotionally abusive parent. Unable to think and feel for themselves anymore, as they take on their emotionally abusive parents thoughts and feelings, as if they are their own. Bonded to the abuser.
Director, Founder, Coparenting Matters Ltd. at Coparenting Matters Ltd.
5 年Thank you it's a moving poem. Your words put me in mind of one of my favourite poets, W.B. Yeats, "Those that I fight I do not hate / those that I guard I do not love".
Company director and adviser with a breadth of capital markets experience.
5 年So sad for the children and all those affected. Bonded to the abuser is the sole and selfish goal of the abusing parent with no thought about how this will impact the children, their lives and their future relationships.
Book Author "The Pinball Machine The Family Separation Industry and Parental Alienation"
5 年Parental Alienation hides in plain sight and have seen too many well meaning counsellors, social workers and others listen and act on the expressed "Voice of the Child". Unfortunately many counsellors were involved in family reports and the parliamentary inquiry was exceptionally critical of them and their profession. Until people learn to determine what is the authentic voice of the child rather than what the children state, then acting on the voice of the child can be very dangerous to the child. The children are suffering and need love and understanding rather than misguided family granting their expressed wishes like an evil genie doing untold damage.