The thing about 'Letting Go'

We hold on too much than we ever let go. We hold on too much to things, people and emotions. Thousands of questions like birds fly around and perches on our mind. “What if she’s the only one?” “Would I ever find anyone better? “Would letting it go make me sad or glad?” Endless questions that leaves you wallowing and drowning in confusion. “What if?” becomes a monster that torments you. It stares at you in the face and you simply refuse to let go.

You bottle up so much pain, heartbreaks, regrets and torture holding on to the past and its memories. You bear so much burdens in your heart because you’ve refused to move on and explore the best of yourself. You’re afraid to lose someone so you’ll rather die in that abusive relationship. If you know that sometimes it’s better to let someone go. You hold on so much to hatred so you find it hard to forgive that friend that hurt you.

Like a favorite movie, the memories of how much people feed you with lies and how they broke your trust still replays in your head. You find it hard to trust people at all including yourself because you’re still holding on to that too. I am not here to play the blame game nor here to add salt to your injury but to ask you questions and I hope you have the answers. Haven’t you held on too much to these things? Isn’t it time for you to let it all go? To let go of your past hurting memories and the defeating stories?

Letting go is one of the hardest things to do I must say. It is easier said than done but it is very much possible. Think about a bird that is learning how to fly for the first time or a person learning to ride a bicycle for the first time. The truth is that these two experiences come with so much fears and hurts. The person learning to ride a bicycle falls severally with bruises and scars in the process of learning. It is pertinent to know that the consistency and ability to let go is what determines how good the bird or the person will be in flying or riding the bicycle respectively. If the person holds on too much to the moments he fell, the bruises and scars he had gotten, that is enough to derail his learning process.

Sometimes in life, pains, scars or whatever our past experiences might have served are all what makes us that amazing person that we are today. Holding on to them is more like enslaving ourselves not to explore the best life has to offer because of the hate, hurt and pains we feel inside. Its okay to be hurt! Its okay to be bitter, it’s okay to cry and drown in tears but after that just let it all go regardless of how painful it is. Holding on to them will not make you feel any better but worse.

Holding on to things, people and emotions of the past that hurts confines you and gradually steals your true identity. You become a total stranger to the people around you and to the world. You see people and life through a bitter and resentful lens because you wouldn't let go of the past. All these reflects in your present and you realize that all that hurt bottled up inside is the only thing you’ve got to offer. They say you can only give what you have inside. You cannot bottle up so much hurt and pain and expect to give love. You only give the hate you have consciously or unconsciously because it is what you’re filled with. Stop living your past in your present., just let it all go!

I've been on this journey before. I can tell how it feels to be broken, crumbled and shattered into a million pieces by the ones you’ll never had thought would do so. I was drowned in those taunting thoughts endlessly recounting the past and how much I was hurt. I held on so much that I found myself lost in the person I was becoming. I was lost in the stranger I had become. i just couldn't let it go. I held it so much within me I treated everyone with resentment and pain. I was broken and I thought holding on would fix me but it didn’t. Like a small crack in my wall, it gave room for hate, pain and fear to creep in like lizards and they controlled me. I lost my true identity and my true self.

In that brokenness and bitterness, I realized how much weight I was carrying on my shoulders resenting and hating people who didn't even give a damn whether or not I did. I saw how free and happy they were while I was dying inside with an unforgivable pain I held on so much to. I couldn’t even forgive myself when I made mistakes so how can I possibly forgive those who hurt me. I realized that I could only treat people the way I treat myself. That was when it dawned on me and I learnt to forgive myself! To forgive people regardless of how much they hurt me because life is too short to be spent in nursing and recording unforgivable and unforgettable wrongs.

I know letting go is hard but you’ll feel a lot better and lighter than you can ever know if only you can let it all go. Nothing is sweeter than freedom! Being free and light as a bird to fly with no obstruction or grudging weights holding you back from attaining your dreams and being your true self. What if in this life’s game of pain, hate and brokenness, ‘To Let go’ is the last card for you to be free and be who you really want to be. Would you play it or still hold on?