There Is No Such Thing As Constructive Feedback (9.1)
Fred Kofman
Executive Coach | President at Conscious Business Center International - CBC
"When I hear, 'I've got some feedback for you,' my brain shuts down."
It is important to let others know when you are, or are not satisfied with the way you are working together, but "giving feedback" is never the most effective way to do it.
The reason is that feeling under evaluation is like feeling "under the gun." It often creates so much stress that it's impossible to think straight. As David Rock describes in his theory of SCARF, human beings care about status, certainty, autonomy, relatedness and fairness. The typical feedback conversation threatens each one of these, creating a neurological shutdown.
There are three key problems with the standard model of feedback: the goal, the framing, and the language. In the following video, I consider these three problems and turn feedback into a performance enhancing conversation.
*Should you have any difficulty viewing the video please click here to view on Fred's Slideshare page
Further Reading: Why Feedback Fails: A Neurological Explanation
Readers: How would you change your feedback conversations into performance enhancing ones?
Fred Kofman is Vice President at Linkedin. This post is part 9.1 of Linkedin's Conscious Business Program. You can find the introduction and structure of this program here. Follow Fred Kofman on LinkedIn here. To stay connected and get updates please visit Conscious Business Academy and join our Conscious Business Friends group.
Executive, Team, and Leadership Performance, Consulting on Change Implementation and Talent Acquisition, Facilitator for Strategic Planning
3 年I like this very much and agree that collaborative conversations where we are on the same side of "the fence" looking together at the goal is most productive and respects the person as an equal. It allows me to take responsibility for my point of view, and gives space for the other to have theirs. What my question is, as I do a lot of 360 debriefs, is how to put this into practice when the critical feedback is given by others. All suggestions welcome.
Head of People and OD and Non Executive Director (Solace)
5 年The reference to the SCARF model really hits home well. I am used to handling performance conversations by asking what I can do to help the other person succeed, but that's still only a small way to collaboration and has a significant amount of arrogance to it still. The approach given here embraces collaboration as the heart of the matter Equal footing must be assumed at the outset. I think this is easier on both parties.?
Technical Program Manager at Google
5 年I think previously I had gone into performance conversations with an intent to understand the team member's point of view and challenges, but still essentially with a set of specific goals I wanted to achieve with respect to metrics and some ideas about what I wanted to see with regard to behavior. With this process, instead, I concentrate less on those things and more on the process of collaborating to understand the situation and jointly build a plan for a better future.
Create. Collaborate. Community
5 年I would start general and go specific with the conversation framing it from the perspective "i" as opposed tot he 2nd or 3rd person.How can we work together to get the intended outcome. The hole in the boat analogy is perfect for how teams need to work together and it's never just one person responsible.
Managing Partner, Executive Coach/Facilitator - Programs with ??, ?? and ??(in Kenya!)
6 年This brings to mind the concept of importance - there is often an assumption that a leader is more important than those working for that leader, given the higher level on an org chart. But is that really true? Aren't the leaders simply performing one function, and those working for them, performing other functions? And each of those functions is inter-relational. So this idea of a peer to peer conversation with an eye towards neither person sinking the boat makes perfect sense.