THE THING ABOUT ANGER

It is easy to get carried away by strong emotions and feel quite justified about it.?

Take anger, for example. When we have a strong sense of moral values but feel others don’t, or if we have a high personal standard and strong work ethic and see the same lacking in others, it is easy to feel indignant and outraged.?

For example, if we are irritated at a co-worker because of their ineptitude or bad work habits, our irritation will most certainly show, the other person will sense it, and it will not improve our relations with them.?

But even more than the effect our anger has on others is the effect it can have on us. Here is where it is good to remember?the subtle difference between righteous and?self-righteous anger. -- With the former, we are appropriately responding to genuine wrongdoing, with the latter, we are simply feeling morally superior to others and are trying to convince ourselves or others that we are doing the right thing.?

Self-righteousness is ultimately self-defeating. The dopamine hit of feeling ‘better’ than others might make us feel good in the moment, but in the long run it can be deleterious.?And if we keep that anger and sense of superiority in our hearts too long, before long it will start to affect us negatively, because emotions have a way of taking over if they are not kept in check. People who stay angry longer than is healthy can find themselves becoming bitter, resentful, and eventually incapacitated in more ways than they realize.

As the late Stephen Covey put it, “The children of blame are cynicism and hopelessness. When we succumb to believing that we are victims of our circumstances, we lose hope, we lose drive, and we settle into resignation and stagnation.”

So, what does one do with the emotion of anger? Especially if we feel it is justified??Brene Brown says:

"Anger is a catalyst. Holding on to it will make us exhausted and sick. Internalizing anger will take away our joy and spirit; externalizing anger will make us less effective in our attempts to create change and forge connection. It’s an emotion that we need to transform into something life-giving: courage, love, change, compassion, justice.”

There are three things to remember about anger:

1.? Anger often masks emotions that are more difficult to name or own.

2.? Just as an indicator light in our car tells us to pull over and check things out, anger is a very effective emotional indicator light that tells us to pull over and check things out.

3.? Anger, in response to or witnessing injustice, pain, and struggle, can be a powerful catalyst for change. But remember, ?by definition, a catalyst sparks change, it’s not the change."

Have a great week!

Team Anahat

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