The Thin Line between Success and Failure.

A wise woman who was sitting under an old fig tree, told me in the softest of voices that success and failure are parallel, and how easy it is to slip from one to the other.

It is all about your perspective and recognising that thin line between success and failure. She continued.

I learnt early on in life that one persons view or opinion of success could easily be interpreted as failure by another - and visa versa.

We learn wisdom from failure much more than from success - Samuel Smiles

Too many children grow up listening to a repetitive cycle of commentary about their failings at school, from sports to their hobbies. And then, all the failures and mistakes from their families. What a heavy burden to carry into your life.

The emphasis is too often on mistakes and the punishments, reprimands and negative repercussions that inevitably will result.

Most religions are set up to focus on sins and mistakes and the wicked punishments that will fall upon you should you 'fail' to follow the rules. Much of it is based on illogical logic.

I remember a short spell at a catholic school ( and yes, I wanted out after 3 months!) being told on a regular basis that all girls should wear a bathing suit in the bath in case your guardian angel was a boy!

Or when you go to sleep at night, cross your arms over your chest in case you die at night so you will be prepared for heaven. As a non catholic I was horrified at these outrageous and humiliating teachings.

Imagine the punishment bestowed upon you if you failed to follow those rules?

And many believe it. We grow up believing that failure is to be expected and is punishable too. Get ready to fail.

Elizabeth Day has written and spoken about this in her podcast and book titled: How To Fail at Success. She shares with us how her first novel was 'brutally' critiqued on radio and press.

"It should have been a moment of unadulterated success...it was success, but it also felt like failure.

To have it (her first novel) 'brutally' dismissed by people I'd never met was hard not to take personally."

I get it.

When my short story collection Divine Damages was published, (currently unavailable) I received a scathing review from a fellow author. She rubbished my book saying that the stories 'felt' unreal and that nobody would do the things my characters did.

I knew I had got to her. I knew that it had stirred her. She had felt something. That for me was success! I had touched her emotions, and perhaps others too would rethink about stereotypes or so called 'normal' characteristics.

Years before, when I submitted a hilarious story about a childhood prank, it was refused on the grounds it wasn't true! I decided to remind myself that some people live sheltered lives or have no imagination.

But we do live in a society where failure is held up high for ridicule, condescending remarks and even punishable by ostracisation.

When I air my words to the world and the reception is negative, harsh even merciless, I ask myself;

Whose opinion do I value? Whose opinion counts? And most importantly, do I value my own work? Do I believe that what I have written is my best?

How about redefining failure as unfinished success?

How about lightening up when you make a mistake?

What if the error leads to you to discover something else, something better?

And if your boss fires you or demotes you for making a miscalculation, an oversight or omission, a fault, an overestimation or underestimation - maybe, just maybe it is a blessing in disguise.

Failure is the opportunity to begin again more intelligently - Henry Ford

One thing I have learnt, is that I have made some fabulously smart mistakes. Mistakes that taught me a lesson, showed me another way, opened doors to a better situation and revealed another side to the person rebuking me.

It wasn't always easy to accept the error of my ways but if I can't learn from it - I will only repeat it.

Is it the fear of success that turns our head towards an inescapable failure?Have we been programmed to accept an unavoidable path of a life less successful?

I have seen this self-sabotage often in the budding authors I have encountered.

Who will read my work?

Who will publish my work?

I haven't got it in me to write, to finish a book.

Who is going to believe my story?

We are trained and educated from an early age to almost expect failure - to be content with 'normal' instead of extraordinary. To feel guilt or shame if you succeed or do well.

Why do we accept this when just across that thin line is everything we ever wanted?

The illogical idea that seeing is believing so steadily drummed into our heads, that living a life on the 'Con Belt' (the conveyer belt, I write about in my last two books.) means we are doomed to a life less lived, less travelled and less successful.

In all my programs, paid and free (and you can check them out on my website www.georgiavarjas.com ) I emphasise that believing is seeing.

1. Recognise the importance and priority of writing your book.
2. Believe you have something of value and beneficial to express.
3. Be confident, courageous and creative with your written and spoken words.
4. Believe there is so much more available to you and invest in yourself 100%.
5. And, that your mistakes or failures are part of your unique character.

The chief cause of failure is substituting what you want most for what you want now - Zig Ziglar

I have always said that our voice and our pen are our two most powerful tools of communication - and I encourage you to develop and utilise these gifts, to express yourself and share your message and version of life with others.