They're Just Trying to Sell Me Something

Agitating as it may be, the rise of predatory sales behaviors on this site is not a LinkedIn problem but a LinkedIn user problem. And nowhere is the hunter mentality more prevalent and the breach of professional ethics more egregious than in the LinkedIn connection request. Through my research, I have gleaned that receiving generic connection requests or those with an embedded sales message are the chief complaints among LinkedIn users.

LinkedIn effectiveness equates to making good choices, especially in connecting with others. Accepting or declining an invitation to connect, unquestionably the most consequential of all the decisions we make on LinkedIn, can be either a career boon or a deep sigh, live-and-learn moment.

The Psychology of LinkedIn Connection Requests

The LinkedIn connection request or invitation to connect is the most pivotal communication on the site, the point of origin for what could become a mutually beneficial professional relationship. A thoughtful, well-framed invitation sets the tone for the interactions that follow. If you have been around the LinkedIn block for a time or two, you know that most of the invitations you receive are generic (sans message), offering no glimpse into the sender's psyche.

Generic connection requests pose an unavoidable conundrum. LinkedIn users have grown weary and become wary of approaches from strangers, anticipating that the other shoe will drop after making the connection and they will be swept into the swirling, suckering vortex of the sender’s sales funnel. Conversely, many users feel conflicted about summarily dismissing generic requests for fear of losing out on potential business or career growth opportunities.

Since the early days, LinkedIn has enabled users to personalize each invitation to connect, encouraging them to show intentionality beyond an arbitrary click or tap. As the business emphasis has shifted to community building, forward-thinking professionals must rethink their social engagement strategy and prioritize relationship development. People are people, not sales leads.

[LinkedIn remains the only social networking site allowing users to customize a greeting. When using the mobile app, an intermediate and not universally known step is required in personalizing invitations. This is in fairness to some users who would send a customized message if they knew how to do so.]

It is fair to say that I have accepted many generic LinkedIn connection requests that have panned out extremely well through the years. Others I accepted in good faith from professionals seemingly above board, only to impale myself on the hook and trigger an all-out sales blitz on and off LinkedIn. Lesson learned, or so you would think. Each infuriating experience is a betrayal of my trust, calling to mind the iconic song “Won’t Get Fooled Again” by The Who.

Nowadays, I take generic requests on a case-by-case basis, favoring organic, deliberately paced network growth over hoarding connections. Unless the sender's professional headline convinces me otherwise, I will grant the courtesy of a profile review to determine if the invitation is worth the benefit of my doubt. If something on the page intrigues me, we have many connections in common, or I perceive like-mindedness, I will accept and promptly send a follow-up note.

Most of the generic invitations I decline are knee-jerk responses. Leading the list are invitations sent from fake accounts (which are getting easier and easier to spot), self-declaring LinkedIn "lead gen experts" (who clearly did not bother to view my profile), and consultants and coaches who target consultants and coaches. (Wow, they found me. What are the odds?)

To quote your internal monolog: “Why should I accept invitations from these people? They’re just trying to sell me something.”

Huckstering in the LinkedIn Connection Request

Most personalized invitations I receive are anything but personal and far from inviting. They are awkward, thinly veiled attempts at building rapport with feigned sincerity that soil any hint of trust. Some messages are so snake-oily that they are laughable. I save the most ridiculous examples on my hard drive and weave them into my talks as teaching moments with the sender's names visible.

There is nothing stylish about overtly selling right out of the gate. It shows incredibly poor form and a complete lack of respect for the recipient and the LinkedIn community. These messages do not land well. They are intrusive, offensive, and annoying. The act of sending them is the LinkedIn equivalent of door-to-door peddling and reduces the sender to a shameless huckster.

The term huckster (n.) dates back to c. 1200; it originally meant “petty merchant,” “peddler,” or “hawker” c.f. Middle Dutch hokester (n.) “peddler,”?from hoken (v.) “to peddle.” It may have roots in Middle English hucc (v.), “to haggle.” It is a tag given to someone who peddles aggressively or sells small articles door-to-door or from a stall or small store. (Source: Online Etymology Dictionary)

Huckstering on LinkedIn is death to personal branding. If your goal is to stand out on this platform, you can best serve that goal by approaching others from a place of giving, collaboration, and emotional intelligence. Personalize the invitation to connect in a manner that makes sense to the recipient, not you. Whereas you may claim to deliver "a steady stream of leads," “massive value,” or "10X monthly income" for your clients, there is no place for that rhetoric in an initial contact.

Compounding the aggravation of those relentlessly pitched is the proliferation of automated software programs. These applications game the system by excavating the demographics of target buyers, scraping keywords from their profiles, and churning out spammy messages by the thousands. The more sophisticated overlays actually register a LinkedIn profile view to create the illusion that the sender visited the page—an intrinsically deceptive practice.

[LinkedIn's User Agreement explicitly states that third-party programs are prohibited, and LinkedIn Corporation is cracking down on users who deploy them.]

Contrary to popular belief, a LinkedIn invitation is not a license to pitch. Many LinkedIn users will continue to self-sabotage by sending these spamtations,” as I call them. In so doing, they flat-out lose the trust of those on the receiving end. Most importantly, they bypass the pivotal first step in building the bridge to a potentially fruitful conversation, strategic partnership, or the next job offer.

A Parting Thought (or Two)

Business or career development is about finding alignment and cultivating trust. As you journey on in this digital life, please consider that people respond to sincerity and transparency in communication; they do not take kindly to random, unwanted sales messages (spam) here on LinkedIn or elsewhere. Feed the relationship, and sales moments will organically emerge. Otherwise, you will be forcing a square peg into a round hole. Or is it the other way around?

LSG READERS: In future editions of The LinkedIn Style Guide, I will discuss techniques for properly framing invitations to connect, InMails, and direct messages to elevate your personal outreach on LinkedIn.

Stick with me; I will not disappoint you.

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