There’s value in silence

In this thing called life where we’re constantly chasing, obtaining, wanting, needing, giving and taking . . . I don’t know about you, but there have been times in my life when I’ve lost the ability to keep up with all of that. The expectations of my surroundings, feeling like I have everything yet nothing. It’s an unsettling feeling when you get to the point where you’re running on empty, being so out of touch that you can’t hear yourself. . . But you keep going, because that’s the standard you’ve set, and think you should live by.

Lost. Maybe that's the feeling? Being a serial entrepreneur, a constant go-getter, a daughter, sister, modern-day multi-hyphenate woman, don’t let the constant movement fool you. At some point we all get tired, and sometimes we get so overwhelmed that instead of resting at a steady pace, we go even harder in order to maintain the facade of productivity and achievement . . . then we crash out of exhaustion.

I don’t know if it’s just me, but there’s this shame that comes with needing to rest. Every day it's “hustle and grind”. But over the years I’ve experienced seasons of complete solitude, and looking back, those?moments of stillness have propelled me towards my dreams, with renewed energy, fresh perspectives, and confidence.

I went off the grid last month, and I’m not exaggerating when I say that the silent moments away from my screen and noise have been the ones that have truly shaped me. My choice to step away from my social platforms in what seemed to be a peak season wasn’t the logical choice, but it was necessary. Without warning, I vanished to reset. The "where are you" DMs, texts, and calls started rolling in shortly after, and it got me thinking, even though it's meant well when people check up on us; do we owe people an explanation for our much-needed silence?

We are always on so when we’re off-line, for some odd reason, we guilt ourselves into having to explain why we’ve chosen ourselves and our sanity. There’s this paradox because I often talk about authenticity, and making choices that align with your true self – all of which I wholeheartedly stand by, but at the same time, as humans, there’s this need to explain or justify the decisions that we make. A need for validation, a go-ahead? We apologize for needing to rest. Why is that? I’m learning that you don’t have to share everything in order to be authentic, and you don't need permission to rest. Never give up, but allow yourself to rest.

In the past whenever I needed a break, I used to feel like I had to announce my departure, and have a grand return explaining why I had to take time off and what I was doing during my break, and what I intend to deliver shortly after the said break . . . which defeats the purpose of taking time off, cause now I’ve come back to prove that I was productive when all I really needed was rest.

Plot Twist; you don't have to announce anything. That’s not what autonomy and freedom looks like. The realm of social media can be a prison if you let it hold you captive to its Creator’s guilt. We don’t have to post just because there are days of the week.

Don’t fear silence.

What is the value of silence? The value in silence is that it challenges you, it meets you exactly where you are while showing you where you want to be. It stretches your most fragile thoughts, and silently tears down the self-imposed expectations you have that often aren’t even your own. Silence strips you of the lies that you’ve told yourself. It hurts, but eventually, you heal. In silence, you are head-on with your biggest fears and worst-case scenarios, and if you’re the typical creative, it will be intertwined with your confidence, sense of self-worth, and direction. But that's okay.

Silence allows us to see who we truly are, especially as things fall apart. Which pieces do we reach for as we try to put ourselves back together? Silence breaks you. We’re scared of being shattered, but let this newsletter be a reminder this week; that even when we break, there’s beauty and resilience in the ability to rebuild in that same silence.

I hope that you cherish your moments of silence. However uncomfortable it might feel in the moment, there’s value in silence.

Always unfiltered,?

Hayet Rida, Creative strategist & influencer