There's No Need to Blame Bruno...No, No, No

It's the song people can't stop talking about, about a person you're not supposed to talk about.

"We Don't Talk About Bruno ," from Disney's 2021 animated film "Encanto ," is currently enjoying its fourth consecutive week at No. 1 on the US Billboard Hot 100, having already surpassed "Let it Go" to become the most successful Disney song ever. (Sorry, Queen Elsa). Disney's first chart-topper has somehow managed to capture the attention of the entire country and at the same time inspired thousands of Tik-Tok videos, where people lip-sync and dance along to their favorite parts.

My children have been singing it for weeks and now it seems I, too, have fallen prey to becoming enamored by Lin-Manuel Miranda's foreboding number about a family prognosticator through the lens of his disgruntled family members, as they relay their personal encounters with the mysterious and - in their view - ominous Uncle Bruno. Starting with Pepa, Bruno's sister, and her husband, Felix, telling a back-and-forth tale about the day they were married, the song continues with others recounting their own tumultuous experiences with Bruno. Whether it's revealing the impending death of a pet fish or letting someone know they would soon be joining, ahem, the "follically challenged community" aka become bald, it seems Bruno was always there to cast a dark cloud on otherwise happy occasions.

However, it is one line in particular from this wedding day story that prompted me to stop and ask: "Why are you blaming Bruno?" I'll explain.

"It was my wedding day...and there wasn't a cloud in the sky," Pepa begins. Suddenly "Bruno walks in with a mischievous grin...and says, 'it looks like rain,'" she continues, implying Bruno is taking pleasure in sharing this unfortunate turn of events with the bride-to-be. Felix concurs. "Why did he tell us?!," he asks in exasperation, as if Bruno is responsible for the rain itself. And so, after hearing the song for maybe the 1000th time in the last week, it occurred to me, "you all are blaming the wrong person!"

As I walked by the television where my kids were watching, I sarcastically quipped back, "Why did he tell you? Gee, I don't know Felix, maybe he was trying to be helpful. Maybe he thought it was better for you to know so you could prepare ahead, take proper precaution and potentially think of alternative plans." After all, Felix's next line is "get the umbrellas!" (See aren't you better off knowing?). Nevertheless, it was Felix's innocent question that made me change the way I now look at this song and compelled me to write this blog in defense of Bruno.

As an internal communications professional, I've had to help company executives share "bad news" to employees on numerous occasions. I've also been on the receiving end of some myself. While it's never fun to be the one delivering bad news to employees (nor is it fun to receive it), it is often a necessary part of the job and there is a "right" way to do it. There may not be enough evidence to know for sure, but it appears Bruno seems to have done so and with his family's best interest in mind, even if they felt otherwise. Still, here are a few tips to ensure that you don't become the company Bruno when given the unenviable task of sharing difficult news with employees.

1) Plan Your Words in Advance. One way to ensure you can achieve the desired goals of the conversation and don't stray too far off course is to carefully plan your words in advance. The expression "stick to the script" is often used when leaders find themselves getting "off message." This is not to say that you need to (or even should) literally script every word, especially when having a one-on-one conversation. But planning your words in advance and having a prepared outline for key points and messages you need to get across is critically important. And also will help ensure the conversation doesn't become muddled by getting off topic, going off on tangents or simply because you're rambling too much in a misguided attempt to avoid an awkward silence.

2) Be Transparent and Direct. Experts say that "despite your impulse to soften the blow" or "sugarcoat it" thinking it may make the situation easier, this is actually the worst way to deliver bad news to employees. Alison Davis, CEO of Strategic Communications Firm Davis and Company, says it's best to "rip the band-aid off" and that based on research, employees would rather "hear the straight story than have someone try to spin the truth." This is important to remember as you - harkening back to point one - plan ahead and prepare your remarks.

This is consistent with what I have experienced throughout my career as well. A number of years ago, I was advising a senior leader on how best to share the news that the department was being restructured and would require every employee to re-apply for their roles. And he asked me how we should spin this. I said quite simply, "We shouldn't. We need to be as transparent as possible and tell them what we know, when we know it."

In addition, I also advised that while not providing spin, we needed to provide context and the "why" behind the decision, how it aligns with the future strategy of the organization, how it will help the company achieve its goals, make the team more effective, or enable the company to grow and succeed.

Being "direct" doesn't mean without tact or humanity, by the way. More on this in the points below.

3) Give Context and Share the 'Why.' While you shouldn't sugarcoat or spin the message in an inauthentic way, your employees deserve to hear why such decisions had to be made. Even though this won't change the outcome or necessarily make the news any less difficult to receive, providing additional context will at least help your employees understand the rationale (or let them know that there even was a rationale) and that it wasn't some arbitrary decision being made on a whim but after careful consideration.

The greatest example I can think of here was when I was actually on the receiving end of some very difficult news: my position at Marriott International had been eliminated, along with many others, due to the impact of COVID-19 on our business. As Marriott CEO Arne Sorenson addressed the company's global workforce via video (which has since been cited as a gold standard on how to demonstrate authentic leadership ), he painted a bleak visual: "COVID-19 is having a more severe and sudden financial impact on our business than 9/11 and the 2009 financial crisis combined... with a 75 percent decline in occupancy in most markets around the world."

While learning that my job had been eliminated was one of the most difficult days of my career, having that additional context about the state of the business made me realize it was the only measure the company could take to ensure its future existence. And only done as a "last resort" after additional contingency measures were put in place, such as Mr. Sorenson giving up the balance of his 2020 salary.

Less than a year later, Mr. Sorenson lost his courageous battle with pancreatic cancer. I said at that time, and I still believe, his handling of the pandemic will be his greatest legacy and we are talking about someone who pulled off the biggest acquisition in the history of the hotel industry. The fact that someone who lost their job is the one saying this should indicate just how well it was handled. I wrote on LinkedIn the day I learned of his passing that even though he was the messenger of this difficult news, I never lost my respect or admiration for him or the company itself. In fact, it only grew stronger. Which also explains why I jumped at the chance to rejoin Marriott several months later when the opportunity presented itself.

4) Show Empathy and Compassion. In addition to giving context and explaining why a decision was made, leaders should also show empathy and demonstrate compassion as well. The emotion exhibited by Arne in the above example was genuine so this is not to suggest emotion should be manufactured or forced. Not at all. Employees will see right through this. However, you also shouldn't force yourself to hide emotions either. Allow yourself to be natural and remember to treat employees as human beings not statistics.

I mentioned that "staying on message" is important. It is. But equally so is ensuring you do not script yourself to the point of appearing robotic, cold or emotionless. Plan your words but make sure your authenticity remains intact.

5) Give People Time and Space to Vent. We can argue that perhaps this is all Bruno's family was doing, albeit in song form, but the reality is, sometimes no matter how professional or delicate we deliver a message, the blow cannot be softened altogether. Therefore, it's important to give people the time and space needed to digest the information. And also the freedom to provide their perspectives, share their feedback, and ask questions- even if you do not have all the answers at that time.

Listen to what they have to say and commit to following up to any unknowns once you have more information.

While not every situation can be handled the same way and there is no one-size-fits-all approach to communication, nor is there a guarantee that you won't become the subject of a song where everyone is airing grievances about you, following a few simple tips like those above will give you the best chance to succeed in delivering your message. It might not make you the hero mind you, but should at least prevent you from being viewed as an outright villain.

Right, Bruno? After all, he also told someone that the life of her dreams would someday be hers. He couldn't be all that bad!