There's no 'D' in Compassion - 'We don't do detentions'.

I can recall the sound of our metallic main doors being kicked, glass vision panels being smashed, displays lovingly created wrenched from notice boards. The chaos ensued with chairs being flung around, leaving my staff and me feeling helpless and unable to intervene. We would desperately wait, hoping that amidst the turmoil, our youngster would come to their senses or simply exhaust themselves.

?We became accustomed to these behaviours mainly triggered in students by our version of school detention. During the day students would accumulate a number of minutes as a form of sanction for ‘poor’ behaviours. The total number of minutes would have to be served as a detention during breaks times, lunch or more commonly at the end of the day. Staff would use this time to try engaging with students, attempting but often failing to make the impact they desired.? Back then we did not quite understand that being confined in a locked environment, whether in a small classroom or a spacious school hall can strip young people of their sense of autonomy and control over their own lives. This loss of freedom can be distressing and trigger feelings of helplessness, which can exacerbate existing trauma or create new traumatic experiences. Many young people may have experienced trauma prior to being placed in a locked or closed environment. Being confined in what may be felt or imagined as a similar setting or circumstance, can remind them of past traumatic experiences, leading to re-traumatization and the resurfacing of distressing memories and emotions. At the time, we thought what we were witnessing was extreme non-compliance, as opposed to a young person feeling trapped, isolated, or threatened, triggering trauma responses and further exacerbating their emotional well-being.

?Our reflection having a young person serve their minutes inevitably involved a power imbalance between the young person and the those of us in authority responsible for their containment.?Again, for some a reminder of situations where they felt powerless or victimized.? On too many occasions we became more absorbed with the punishment as opposed to the reasons behind the behaviours forfeiting the opportunity for understanding, empathy, and to apply resources to address issues. It is rather difficult to properly engage with a young person and to build trust while implementing punitive practices that may trigger or re-traumatise.

I strongly believe that structure, along with the right support, is crucial for individuals of all ages. We require discipline and structure in our schools, but without engagement this may prove a challenge for those already struggling with barriers to learning. In The Skills Hub we believe in building positive relationships – we are intentional in this, creating opportunities for staff and students to develop understanding and trust. We are genuine with our students; we demonstrate compassion by our professional curiosity and interest. Young people need guidance to understand the significance of structure and the consequences of their actions. By providing a supportive and understanding environment, we can help them navigate through challenges and ultimately achieve positive outcomes. It might take time, but with the right approach, we can make a significant difference in their lives.

?Building a strong relationship based on trust and understanding is crucial. Ensure that the young person feels safe and supported, allowing them to open up and engage in discussions about consequences without fear of judgment or further traumatisation. We have discovered that traumatised young people often struggle with trust due to their past experiences. By providing praise and recognition for their efforts, achievements, and strengths, young people can experience validation and a boost in their self-esteem. Offering praise, warmth, and recognition creates a safe and supportive environment, helping to build trust between the young person and staff. A culture of recognition and the valuing of individuals also includes staff – students take great interest in the interactions between adults. When we model good behaviour, being kind and compassionate to each other it then becomes easier for them to model. What we expect from them becomes more practical, real, and authentic. This contributes to a trusting environment that is crucial for healing and growth. Offering warmth and recognition, young people feel seen, heard, and valued, fostering a sense of belonging within their community or educational setting. This sense of belonging can be a powerful protective factor against the negative impacts of trauma. Praise and recognition can serve as powerful motivators for young people who may have experienced trauma. By acknowledging their efforts and progress, they are more likely to feel motivated to continue learning, growing, and engaging in positive activities.?

?When we clearly communicate the expectations and rules of the school environment it helps young people understand the predictable consequences of their actions. I have had to learn the hard way about reacting to situations, it is important to ensure consequences are fair, reasonable, and proportionate to the behaviour. ?Restorative approaches that encourage reflection can help young people reflect on their actions and take responsibility. Restorative practice can help young people understand the cause-and-effect relationship between their actions and the consequences that follow. Real-life examples, role-playing, or scenarios can further illustrate how choices and behaviours can lead to different outcomes. These are opportunities for learning, encouraging critical thinking and reflection. Guidance and support to help young people navigate the consequences of their actions is essential and can include problem-solving skills, conflict resolution strategies, and emotional regulation techniques. These can further assist with develop coping mechanisms and alternative behaviours to avoid negative consequences in the future.

We should never underestimate the importance of strong partnership working with professionals such as, social workers, or mental health professionals who can provide additional support to young people and who may offer invaluable insights especially for those who may have experienced trauma.

For the record, at The Skills Hub, we have made great progress in reducing incidents of vandalism and subsequently lowering premises bills, since we ended the practice of ‘minutes’ (detentions). We have seen a real shift in behaviours over recent years. This accomplishment can be attributed to our increased knowledge and practice of patience, understanding, and most importantly, compassion. We continue on our journey of learning...