There's No Crying in Baseball

A lesson on bravery from a 7 year old.

Okay this one is long hang with me.?

Reece, our youngest, who is 6.75 years old (Crazy how much the .75 means to them at this age) recently went to baseball camp. For those of you who may not remember or haven’t been following along, I’ll catch you up quick.

Reece is the SWEETEST kid with a huge heart and sometimes has fear around new things. He freaked out on his ski instructor during his first ski lesson, swim lessons were scary for him, he had silent tears on the way to his first dentist appointment. It’s torture to watch your child struggle with bravery in the face of things that he/she is really struggling through.?

So when he said that he wanted to go to baseball camp with his best buddies, my mind immediately went to a mix of pure excitement for him and concern over how it would be for him. I asked myself these questions as he was looking up at me with his huge brown eyes.

1. Oh shit, what if he breaks down out there?
2. Will this cool his love of baseball?
3. Will the older kids make fun of him and CRUSH his spirit?

It was a 5 day camp from 9-2 every day with kids ages 5-12 in Encinitas. All his best buddies were doing the camp, and his body had so much excitement he couldn’t contain it. You ever watch a 6 year old kid dance around uncontrollably because of all the excitement, it’s pretty high on my list of things that bring joy. Just like that, we signed up for camp and started practicing in the driveway every night. I’d be lying if I didn’t tell you I was in heaven and casting my memory back to my little league days each night.

It seemed like a blink of an eye, baseball camp day came. He woke up at the crack of dawn, packed his own lunch, and dawned all his favorite baseball gear.?He asked a million questions, “Dad, do you think I’ll be the best player there?, Dad, do you think I can hit a homerun? Hey Dad, are you going to come to my game?”?I held my breath as I left for work that Monday and texted my wife for an update. She sent me a photo of 60+ kids, all of them had the sweetest little back packs with bat holders on the side, batting gloves, belts for their pants and tons of gear that we didn’t have. My heart sank as I emotionally braced myself for something I knew I couldn’t control. His words kept ringing in my heart, “Dad do you think I’ll be the best player there?”

He absolutely LOVED it and you can bet that the first thing his mom did after pick up was to go straight to Dick’s sporting goods. We got him a proper baseball backpack and some more baseball pants. We were so happy and so relieved.?YESSSSSS!

Wednesday night at bedtime, I was putting Reece to bed and after our book he started to tell me about the “Awards”.?

“Dad, there are three balls that you can win. One for best listener, hustler, and hardest worker.?Then there is a trophy for the best player in all of the camp.” Then his voice got soft as he looked down and said almost under his breath, “but I can’t win that trophy”.?

I don’t know what came over me in that moment, but I snapped (in a good way). I got right in his face and I could see in his eyes that he was shocked at my response. It went something like this:

Me: Reece, you absolutely CAN with that trophy. You just have to do what it takes to win it.

Reece: Dad, there are kids that are SO MUCH better than me, I can’t beat them.

Me: You have to make up your mind that it’s yours and that no one else has a chance against you.?If you believe that in your heart, I promise you…you CAN win that trophy.?If you don’t believe it, coach Rietz definitely won’t. You have to believe it.

Let’s be clear,?I think we both knew it would be near impossible for him to win, but I lit a fire in that kid that night. He was ready to jump out of that bed and start practicing baseball right at that moment. His body changed, he had so much excitement, anticipation, joy, that he couldn’t contain his body (again one of my favorite things). He was flopping around that bed like a fish. HUGE smile on his face.

Something changed for him and his belief in himself elevated just a little bit. He was walking around with a bit more swagger and confidence. I didn’t think much of it to be honest at the time. I just wanted him to know he could do anything he sets his mind to.

The next few days, he would talk about the 4 awards a little bit here and there, so I knew his gears were turning. At one point he said, “Dad if I win that trophy, I want to give it to Kai”. Kai is his best friend, and he worships that kid. It gives you a glimpse into how special Reece is and where his heart is. I would NEVER have thought that for one second at that age (I’m learning from him).

The last day of baseball camp came where they would be playing a real game. We got there early to watch him show off what he’d been working on all week. This was the first time that I was able to attend the camp and I was so impressed with the coach who ran it (more on that later).

Reece did well out there but was clearly behind a lot of the other kids in skills and the understanding of the game. I was already preparing for what conversations would be like when he didn’t win the trophy but also thinking about what a huge victory this was for our family.

• Reece overcame his fears to get out there in the first place.
• He was doing something he LOVED, and he was so pumped up.
• He was clearly better after camp than he was before camp.
• We had so many great lessons through the week and I could see he was growing emotionally as well.

After the game, it was time to break camp and for the award ceremony. Coach Dan Reitz addressed the kids, coaches, and parents expressing his gratitude for the parents and kids and how much fun it was.?Full disclosure, I’ve never met coach Reitz other than a handshake and heartfelt thank you for providing this experience after camp, but I’m a fan! He gave his coaches (All current or former players on his high school baseball team at San Dieguito Academy) a ton of praise and talked about what great men and human beings they were. I was so happy that Reece was watching someone he had so much admiration for, conduct himself that way publicly.

He then gave each coach a chance to introduce themselves and what they are working on. It was clear to me that he was molding new leaders encouraging them to speak publicly and give back. It was also clear how much he cared about these young men. It gave me so much confidence putting my son in his care and reinforced our decision.?

Then the awards came and like Reece said there were 3 special baseballs and a trophy for all 60+ kids. The first award was for best listener.?Coach Rietz started to talk about how the winner of this award was far and away the best listener in camp and he was so impressed. More impressive, the camper is from group 1 which is our youngest group of kids.

At this point my heart is pounding and my armpits are sweaty.?Then, he called Reece’s name as the winner of the award. I looked at my wife, the parents of the other kids we knew in camp with the biggest smile on my face. All of us were crying. Okay okay, me more than anyone for sure but a few of us had tears of joy. So, the moral of this story is that there IS crying in baseball.

Our joy was trivial in comparison to that of Reece’s. His face says it all, he’s so unbelievably proud of himself in this photo.

He taught me a lesson through this experience, and I hope you’ll take a moment to hover on it as well. Reece took his fear, walked toward it, got a little belief, and turned a scary process into a beautiful memory moment for all of us.

In the mortgage industry, we’re facing one of the most difficult times I’ve been through (including 2008) and all around there are reasons to doubt myself and loose belief. I’m sure in your own life there are things you’re so excited to try or do, but fear is keeping you small. Maybe it’s quitting your job to pursue that dream you’ve always had, pursuing a relationship you’ve always wanted, moving to a new place, who knows.

Listen friends, we can’t all win the trophy but I’ve never looked back at these moments and wished that I was “LESS BRAVE”. That discomfort/fear/excitement is growth, without it you’ll be right where you are for quite a long time.

My wish for all of you is that you’re inspired to be 1% better tomorrow from this little boy. Enjoy these photos of him and his buddies getting pool time and ice cream sandwiches after a week of hard work, growth, and endless summer fun on the sandlot.

-?Mark