There's collaboration, then there's the real world

What keeps collaboration centre-stage, especially when it comes under threat?

The calls for more collaboration are growing louder. No wonder. Collectively we're up against some big challenges as we adapt to the pandemic's aftermath.

I suggest what may help us answer the calls is a closer look at the collaboration-is-all-well-and-good-but-in-the-real-world mindset.

Let's begin with your real world: when does collaboration matter most?

These three example are common. As might be what you notice when collaborating seems to be going off the rails.

When others are indifferent to the topic at hand, or guarded in what they say, or disagree and are distracted to the point where they only listen selectively, it can seem as though they're signalling collaboration isn't working.

When this happens, what feelings bubble up?

You're not alone if any these crop up when your attempts to get everybody aboard a way forward looks in jeopardy. Me too, along with hundreds of leaders I've worked with over many years.

Throughout that time though, I've also discovered something vital. The way people make sense of these emotions matters hugely to the eventual outcomes you can accomplish.

Emotions shape where we speak from inside and what we do next. Uncomfortable ones like frustration and worry can seem so real, they force us to take them seriously. It's like they're warning us about future dangers. Additionally, memories from the past get triggered. These also help explain why we feel as we do. 'This isn't the first time this has happened' we might conclude.

Digging in to defend our position and attack others' is a short hop from here. Sometimes we go further, drawing out deeper, philosophical lessons to further reinforce that which troubles us.

Or this..

Truths like these are further reinforced by our culture more generally. How we think about winning in sport or political debate for example. The use of league tables in schools, universities and workplaces to grade performance. Encouragement from parents to not 'get left behind' and to live up to what they expect from us. In films - from the gun-ho hero to those that must be defeated for 'collaborating' with the enemy - the need to win, be on top, come out best etc. is pervasive.

So much so that when we're not winning, we humans are adept at finding good reasons to explain our associated feelings of failure. We all do it. Psychologists call it 'projection.' When we can point to others, or external events it saves us looking to ourselves to wonder whether the reality we're in is the only one available.

Is it?

I know it seems that way, especially when emotions are running high. And one thing's for sure, without a willingness to explore how such feelings arise, you're left with no choice but to stay in the reality you're experiencing.

But what if you and your teams were aware of what causes moods to go up and down? What if you understood which to take seriously, and how your reality can change in a split second?

Imagine for example if these observations seemed so true to you and those you work with, they were second nature:

• What we attend to in our minds at any moment gets magnified.
• There is only now: the past is over and the future hasn't happened yet.
• Differences signal people care passionately about something.
• The intentions we start from shape where we end up.

In my experience seeing the above at work, in any moment, triggers curiosity about others' realities not discombobulation about our own. It keeps collaboration centre stage when inevitable disagreements arise. It also reduces mental noise making way for new perspectives on collaboration to arise...

And...

Ironically, of course, the chances of winning from this new reality - however you're measuring that - rise significantly.

Note also it's the internal shift people make in their perception of those negative feelings that hinder collaboration, which makes the difference. Not more incentives, rules, procedures, software or skills training, which, though have good intentions, typically have only a temporary effect.

At this time when pressures are mounting, we're doing what we can at The Mindset Difference to help leaders bring out their people's natural ability to collaborate.

Do reach out if this could be of help to you.