Therapy is Not the Scam We're Told It Is

It feels like there are a million reasons why therapy as a concept, and much more as a practice, is sneered at and scoffed by doubters and nay-sayers. They claim it's an unnecessary waste of time and money, that generations of humans have been ok without it, and that every single therapist and counsellor on the planet is a scammer who doesn't actually care about your mental health, but instead keeps you in a bad emotional place in order to screw you out of your money.

This is, in my opinion, hogwash.

It's true that scores of people, today and in previous years, have not had therapeutic services readily available to them, but this does not automatically mean that their lives are inherently better without them. Cynics love to cling to the belief that mental illness is an entirely new and fabricated construct used to justify laziness. This may well be true in the cases of some disingenuous people and their dishonest claims of struggle, but shockingly enough, not every sufferer of mental illness is like this.

Likewise, not every therapist is a money-grabbing crook. There are some villains who use the banner of therapy as a scheme to divert other peoples' hard-earned cash into their own pockets, but these people are not, to my mind, real therapists. They're con artists, and they're the ones who deserve revulsion, not the hard and good workers who aim to practice genuine therapy.

It perhaps won't surprise you to learn that I, as an autistic man with anxiety problems, have availed myself of counselling in the past. It's been a few years since I've done it, and I've not felt the need to go back since. This is because the work I did with Renew Counselling genuinely helped me, and they got me out of some of the emotional hellholes I was in. If I ever find myself slipping back into those ways (here's hoping I won't), it reassures me that Renew is still there, and I trust them to help me like they did before.

This indicates that counselling, when done right and well, is a massively positive thing to do for people in crisis. It's not just the counsellors who need to do it right, but the service users as well. There needs to be a genuine desire for self-improvement, rather than a half-hearted inclination to wallow in misery, if counselling is going to work.

This is something I learned with practice and effort. When I was in the throngs of crippling anxiety, there were times when I wondered if there was any point in facing it, and I doubted if I'd ever find the strength to conquer it. It would have been easy for me, and I'm sure everyone can relate, to have buried myself under the duvet like an ostrich's head in the sand. Thankfully for my sake, I chose not to do that, at least not in the long term.

It took me a while to overcome my anxious habits, and I needed the support that counselling and a support network of friends naturally provides. I didn't always get it right, and there were times when the anxiety dominated my choices and actions, which I regret. Fortunately, counselling gave me a place and time to work out how to live my life better.

Today, the anxiety is still with me. No longer does it lead the board meeting of my brain, calling every shot at the expense of all else. Now it's just a voice, which stands up, makes its point, and sits back down again. The anxiety is present, but not life-controlling. I'm perfectly capable of living a full, free, productive life, without being hindered or hampered by the anxiety.

Counselling is one of the tools which helped me to get to this point. I agree with the notion that people need to work on themselves independently without passing the buck on to everyone else and blaming the world before themselves when things go wrong. But sometimes, doing it all by ourselves, entirely alone, is neither practical nor possible. Sometimes, we need the insight, wisdom and experiences of other humans who are kind enough to guide us through the darkness.

Remember this the next time you hear a supposedly high-powered, self-described "alpha" figure unleashing a verbal diatribe against counselling. If you're in a bad way mentally and you think you'd benefit from some professional help, absolutely go for it. You've got nothing to lose and everything to gain.

If it can work for me, I promise it can work for anyone.