The Theory of Relatives (and Contemporaries): A Humorous Take on Achievement and Gravity

We’ve all heard of Einstein’s Theory of Relativity, which fundamentally changed how we think about space, time, and gravity. But today, I want to explore a different kind of relativity—one that defines our everyday lives, careers, and even our personal success. Let me introduce you to the Theory of Relatives (and Contemporaries).

In this version of relativity, success and achievement aren’t measured in absolute terms. Nope, in life, everything is relative—whether it’s how your family perceives your accomplishments, how your colleagues compare their wins, or how your friends evaluate your success. Much like Einstein's theory, the gravity of your achievements is shaped by who you’re measuring yourself against. It’s not just family anymore; it’s the whole world of friends, colleagues, contemporaries, and competitors.

All Your Achievements Are Relative

In life, success is not a standalone achievement—it’s always compared to someone else’s. You could be the first in your company to get a promotion, the first in your friend group to buy a fancy car, or the top performer in your peer network. But here’s the kicker: no matter what you achieve, its gravity is defined by who else has done it better (or worse).

Take an example from school days: if you scored 90% on a test, it was impressive, right? Until you found out your friend scored 95%. Suddenly, your achievement feels just a little less significant. It’s all about the percentile, not the absolute score. And this doesn’t stop at school—it happens throughout your life.

Contemporaries & Competitors:

Fast forward to adulthood, and this comparison gets more complex. Your colleagues might be climbing the corporate ladder faster, your contemporaries might be buying bigger houses, and your competitors are likely rolling out more innovative products. It doesn’t matter if you’ve achieved something incredible; if someone else has done something bigger, your accomplishment loses a bit of its shine.

The Gravity of Your Success is Defined by Those Around You

Here’s where the theory of relatives kicks in: your success carries different weight depending on who’s observing it. Much like how massive objects bend space-time in Einstein’s theory, your peers (family, friends, colleagues) bend your sense of achievement.

• Got a promotion? Awesome! But wait—your colleague just got promoted to an even higher role. Suddenly, your achievement feels smaller.
• Launched a successful product? Congratulations! But did you hear? Your competitor just raised millions in funding for a new innovation. Now, your success seems a little less groundbreaking.

Whether it’s at family gatherings, in the workplace, or on LinkedIn (the ultimate platform for comparison), you’ll always feel the gravitational pull of others’ achievements.

The Endless Maze of Comparison

We’re all caught up in this maze—constantly trying to be better than the people around us. You buy a house, your friend buys a bigger one. You crack a big deal at work, your colleague bags an even larger client. In this relentless comparison game, your success feels like a moving target.

This is where the theory of relatives becomes more than just a family dynamic. It’s about the broader world of contemporaries, friends, and colleagues. Whether you're an entrepreneur comparing your startup's growth with others, or a professional watching your peers get ahead, the gravity of their success bends your perception of your own.

Escaping the Trap: Two Ways to Break Free

But here’s the good news—just like Einstein’s relativity, there are ways to escape this constant gravitational pull of comparison. Here are two strategies to break free from the relative trap:

1. Change the Reference Point:

If you’re tired of comparing yourself to the same group of people, it’s time to change the reference point. Instead of focusing on outdoing your immediate colleagues or contemporaries, look to people who are in a whole new league. Compare yourself to someone who’s set an incredibly high bar in the area you want to excel in—someone whose achievements motivate you instead of making you feel small.

• Example: If you’re running a small business and constantly comparing yourself to local competitors, shift your focus to global innovators. Benchmark yourself against a Tesla or Amazon—companies that are redefining industries. By changing your frame of reference, you’ll set higher goals and unlock a new level of ambition.

2. Be the New Reference Point:

The second approach is to stop comparing altogether and become the reference point. If you operate with such absoluteness, others will start measuring themselves against you. This way, you can set the trend and become the new standard. Be the one who people look to for inspiration, rather than being weighed down by their gravity.

• Example: Think of Apple when it launched the first iPhone. It wasn’t concerned with comparing its products to competitors—it became the gold standard for smartphones. By setting the bar, Apple forced everyone else to play catch-up. In your career or business, aim to be the Apple of your industry.

The Relative Nature of Success in Business

Much like light travels at the same speed no matter the observer, success can be absolute if you define your own terms. But in reality, we often find ourselves getting dragged into comparisons that diminish the weight of our accomplishments. Whether you’re a professional or an entrepreneur, your achievements will always be relative to those of your peers, contemporaries, or competitors.

The key is to decide whether you want to play the game of comparisons or set your own rules and define your own gravity.

Conclusion: Break Free from the Relative Trap

In the end, the theory of relatives in life is about more than just family comparisons—it’s about how we measure success against our contemporaries in every aspect of life. But by shifting the reference point or becoming the reference, you can break free from this constant pull and operate on your own terms.

So, next time you see someone achieving more, just remember: you’re operating in your own space-time continuum, where your success is truly absolute—at least, until your colleague’s LinkedIn post pops up.