Theme Songs & In Between Songs

Recently I was in the car with my three girls driving us toward our Spring Break destination in Asheville, NC. As we were making our way out of Apex, NC and driving over Lake Jordan my phone was lighting up in the cup holder with texts from my siblings, the 5A's. This is one of those text strings that can go from 0 to 67 texts in 5 minutes. There are 5 of us on there plus our mom. My oldest knows this so she picked up the phone and read the texts to me in a valiant attempt to keep me in real time.

It was Easter Sunday and my sister, Anastasia was holding her very own kind of church inside her apartment in Brooklyn. She was listening to Stevie Wonder's Songs in the Key of Life and she wanted us all to stop what we were doing and listen to "Knocks Me Off My Feet" with her. It was a sweet request I found completely irresistible. An attempt to bind us all together for a moment across 4 states and three time zones with a song from an album that comprises a signifiant portion of the soundtrack of our lives.

Amelia found the song on iTunes for me and played it and my tears were almost immediate. Every note triggering another wave of love and gratitude for shared history and for a love that still knocks us all off our feet. I couldn't resist the rest of the album and the way it transports me to my late 70s/early 80s childhood in Southwestern Pennsylvania. I may have been driving down a highway in North Carolina but in my head I was somewhere else, visiting Easter's past. "Loves in Need of Love Today" soothed my angst about how divided our country feels right now...a little light of hope...and "As" always has and always will completely undo me. It's the shared theme song of the 5A's. The song our dad, Norm has requested we play at his funeral. It's the song my brother sings to his three impossibly young children...a way to wrap them up in words of immeasurable love during the course of a normal day. As normal as it gets with one three yr old and two two yr olds.

I continued my nostalgic soundtrack for the next few hours. It got me thinking about the way we use music to soothe us, to hype us, to inspire us and to queue us up for what's next. Whatever what's next happens to be. Somewhere just outside of Asheville I interrupted my internal monologue to talk to the girls about theme songs.

I had been playing Ladies & Gentleman by George Michael. "I Knew You Were Waiting (For me)" came on...the duet between George and Aretha Franklin. I shared with the girls that this was one of my mom, Nonna's theme songs when she was going through her divorce with my dad, Norm. My kids and I get to share being children of divorce. [Sidebar: there's so much about divorce that sucks that I will relentlessly pursue almost any flash of a silver lining. A shared experience qualifies as a silver lining. I mean the 'get to' part sincerely.]

The girls didn't initially grasp on to the idea of a theme song. I explained how sometimes when you're going through something the radio just starts talking to you...giving you words to express something you've been feeling and this song was my mom's way to keep going when "...the mountain was high and the valley was low." As a kid I remember thinking my mom was a perpetual badass...she was determined to find a way to make it through and to make it great. Her other theme song was "Nobody Gonna Break My Stride." Thankfully my kids didn't ask and truthfully I wasn't ready to tell my own divorce theme songs, John Mayer's, "Slow Dancing in a Burning Room" and James Bay's "Let it Go."

We did talk about other theme songs...specifically, my theme song for Garman Homes - Talking Head's "Once in a Lifetime." It reminds me that everyday is a day worth living in the present, relentlessly going for something out of the norm, and refusing to settle for "same as it ever was." Other favorites bubbled up too...how LL Cool J's "Mama Said Knock You Out" is the best way to psyche yourself up for something. And the quickest way to get into a good mood and inspire an impromptu dance party is blasting Madonna's "Holiday." How Old School Rap will ALWAYS put me in a good mood and anytime the Beastie Boys are on I regret never learning to break dance. And what kind of mother would I be if I didn't introduce them to the magic of Michael Jackson and Prince, especially OLD Michael Jackson and Prince. The girls joined in a little...they love all things Drake and I had to agree. "Fake Love," "God's Plan" and "Hold On, We're Going Home" are quickly becoming part of their shared soundtrack.

On the way into work this morning I opened Apple Music to see what the For You heart icon had in store for me. It was a Favorites Mix and I was curious about how accurate it would be...unsurprisingly, they nailed it. Duh, they're Apple. LL, Prince, Erik B & Rakim, Missy Elliot, Naughty by Nature, lots from the Hamilton Soundtrack and some Coldplay...they even remembered to throw in a few Beastie Boys tracks. It was the best drive into work. I smiled, I danced, and I let every emotion and flashback just wash over me. Every note conjuring more and more joy.

Which brings me to the point of this musically inspired post about theme songs and in between songs. Being intentional about songs that evoke the exact emotion you need or want at the exact time you need or want them is an incredibly powerful skill. Calling your friends and family near and far to share a moment and listen to a song together is celebrating your shared history. If you haven't taken the time to identify the songs that comprise the soundtrack of your life or chosen a theme song for your work, your love, your children or your friends, I cannot encourage this exercise enough. Especially songs that inspire you or make you feel loved...songs that help you push through the bad...keep those songs at the ready. The world will keep doing whatever its doing...and being able to feel something specific is a gift. A secret superpower. Embrace it.

If you're inclined, I'd love to hear your theme songs and in between songs. Then we'll get to celebrate our own shared history. In the meantime, you can find me in my office blasting 2Pac and busting out some power point slides.