#TheHeartWorkIs

I have something to celebrate.

A few years ago, I created something that would help more people than I could've ever imagined. Around that time, I was working at Harvard Business School and my imposter syndrome was raging.

I won't rehash everything (get caught up here and here) but all the old standards showed up.

Self-doubt? Present! Depression-induced forgetfulness? Here (not)! Anxiety? Here first!

My struggles were an issue. And it was clear that I couldn't move forward until I faced them.

I needed to find a healthy way to process my anxiety, so I developed my #TheHeartWork framework (Instagram // Twitter) and started having difficult, transparent conversations about everything from shame to fear to workplace myths like meritocracy, and all the insecurities, -isms, and -phobias one could imagine with anyone who'd chat with me.

A couple years flew by and I randomly hosted a public workshop back home in Chicago.

Within three months, my first big client came knocking. It was the Obama Foundation.

I was aware of the connection between our personal lives and our politics when I designed The Heart Work but it was beautiful to see a room of people use it to interrogate personal wounds, reflect on their communities, and cultivate lasting positive change.

There we were in August 2019, all forty-something of us, unpacking what we'd been told about our "pathologically broken" neighborhoods and the convenient cultural narratives that allowed some of us to internalize it. There we were, countering those mistruths with what we know about areas of disinvestment. There we were doing the hard but necessary work of healing ourselves and ultimately our communities...starting with our stories.

Because what's more powerful than the stories we tell ourselves about ourselves? ;)

As I prepped for my November 2019 session with the Obama Foundation's Hartford cohort, I considered my community Roseland back home in Chicago, my current home in Cambridge's historic district, and all the things I'm equipped to do because of how much I love both.

Over the course of 90 minutes, the 43 of us worked through my framework highlighting what imposter syndrome tries to convince us of, how society bolsters those mistruths, and how we can do good work while being anchored in love for ourselves and our communities.

What's more, we shared about what motivates us to heal.

I'm proud of myself. I don't usually create things to sell them. When I created my framework, I had a broken heart and a fractured sense of self. I'm just so happy that it (and my facilitation style) resonates with so many people.

I literally weep with joy each time I facilitate.

Years after crafting the initial framework over a Guinness at a Boston bar, scores of people have attended waved me down to share stories they haven't told anyone else. Complete strangers lean toward me conspiratorially while sharing stories about shame and self-doubt that would break anyone's heart. I'm honored every time.

Growing up, folks said "teach from your scars, not your wounds." While I agree when it comes to certain circumstances, the radical vulnerability we embody when sharing our healing processes can be so cathartic.

I've become a healer by taking a cold, hard look at my story and empowering others to do the same. Something magical happens when a group of people enter a room and choose to unfurl the tightly coiled personas and stories they deal in every single day.

People come to my sessions because they are often ashamed, seemingly "alone", and exhausted. Then, something magical happens. I walk people through the underside of my life in eight columns, launching into my deepest "stuff" (responsibly and nimbly) so that others can see how I process, diagnose, and choose to structure my (un)learning and healing.

They perk up, they cry, they marvel at themselves and one another. They pour into one another, offering tangible support and encouragement.

They shook off isolation by choosing to heal in community.

And I don't know about you, but I'm better able to engineer the spaces I want when I'm motivated by love, sustained by a healthy sense of self, and firmly rooted in my values.

That's the real heart work.

If you'd like to learn more about my workshops and products, check out my website! I'm also jazzed to announce my Modus Operandi deck, a nifty 72-card deck designed to help you ask important questions related to your personal journey, values, preferred ways of operating, and industry. The official release date is my birthday (June 18th), but I'm currently taking pre-orders!

You might like this if you enjoy: Sativa, Existentialism, The Twilight Zone, Authenticity

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Rayshauna Gray coordinates Harvard University's Opportunity Insights team and is a member of the Cambridge Historical Society's communications committee and the Boston Book Festival's program team. Her book Roseland delves into the last 200 years of U.S. history through seven generations of women in her family (Belt Publishing). Gray's public history project Up the Antebellum reconstructs the family trees of enslaved African Americans and finds living descendants. Gray is from the south side of Chicago and loves birds, Pomeranians, and ravioli.