That’s a Stupid Question!

“That’s a stupid question!” was the reply I got when I dared to ask a question. It was the answer of a manager at a company I previously worked at. At that moment, I did not know what to do. I felt powerless. It was the same for other employees, they were fearful. They knew that they would get the same answer: “That’s a stupid question!” The more stressed the manager is, the more likely that he can respond that way. It is a clear case of a lack of psychological safety in the workplace. Without psychological safety, we cannot have high-performing teams.?

Especially, when we are stressed, we tend to go back to our habits. In fact, destructive habits are likely to damage psychological safety at work. The fundamental question here is: how can we change our habits and behaviors?

Charles Duhhig in his book “The Power of Habit” makes the point that in order to change our habits, we need to be aware of three components of habits: trigger, routine/behavior, and reward.

Trigger: Imagine that you are a manager of a team and one team member submits his/her work late. Late submission is an example of a trigger.

Routine/behavior: Upon noticing this trigger of late submission of work by an employee, you might shout at the employee.

Reward: At that moment, you might feel in control.

Charles Duhhig points out that being aware of especially triggers and rewards is key to habit change. “What triggers me to behave in that way?” is a question we can ask ourselves. Reward plays a significant role here. One of the main ways our brains learn is through reward. This way, our brains remember certain behaviors. In other words, we notice a trigger, behave in a certain manner and that sends a reward signal to our brains.

After becoming aware of the three aspects of habits, the next step is to break the habit cycle.

Trigger: Let’s keep the trigger the same, which is the late submission of work by an employee.

New routine/behavior: Instead of going back to our default behavior, which is shouting at the employee, you, for instance, breathe in and out 10 times or take a short walk outside before talking constructively with the employee.

Reward: You deal with the situation in a way that does not make you feel regretful about your behavior later on and not jeopardize your relationship with the employee. You manage the difficult situation in a more constructive way. This is your reward.

To give a personal example about creating a new habit, you want, for instance, to run outside 30 minutes on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays at 8 o’clock in the morning. You put your running shoes next to your bed before you go to bed at night. You see your running shoes when you wake up which is your trigger. The new routine/behavior is going outside to run 30 minutes three times a week at 8 o’clock in the morning. A reward is, for instance, having a glass of freshly squeezed orange juice after the exercise.

For certain business people, it might be easy to say to another person: “That’s a stupid question!” What is more difficult is to be aware of the negative consequence of such statements on employees. We tend to replace an ineffective habit with another ineffective one. It is crucial that we replace a destructive habit with a new constructive one. This way, we can contribute to a psychologically safe workplace where employees feel free to share their concerns, questions, mistakes, and ideas.

Application: Please write down your answers to the following questions.?

1. List one behavior you have that can have a negative impact on psychological safety in your team or workplace.
2. What is the trigger and reward of that behavior?
3. List one constructive behavior to replace it.
4. What is the trigger and reward of the new behavior?
5. How committed are you to apply your new behavior? Write your answer from 0 (not at all) to 10 (extremely).

This article is excerpted from Mehmet Baha's new book titled?Playbook for Engaged Employees: Practical Insights to Master Leadership, Agility, Teamwork, Learning,?and Psychological Safety?which is available on amazon.