That's Okay!

I'm writing this on the 4th of August, as I look at the time, it is 00:33:10?UTC, and 01:13:53?UTC when I post it...

I open my photos app, and search for "August 4th"; and the cover photo of this post, is the photo that pops up!

That's Alice on August 4th, 2018; 1 day before I leave to come to the United States.

Aah! It's been 4 years! Has it been that long already?! Oh well... That's about 1460 days ago; interestingly... 1460 weeks away from July 27th, 2050. Nothing special, just interesting!

A part of the post below is something I wrote a couple weeks ago, but now that I look at the occasion, I thought why not celebrate the journey a little?

I wrote it as a note to my future-self, but maybe you need to read it too.

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To me, tomorrow, and anyone out there who needs help figuring out things like me. If life were social media, and you're posting stuff about your life, and every interaction you have, is a comment on your post. Most likely, the top comments would seem like they don't want to help you but just point out the mistakes you already know about, especially when you go "wrong." Which, by the way, is subjective.?

Don't get me wrong, you still need to learn a lot from fools and from sages, but you are the author of your life. You're the only one that will ever truly read your own book, so make sure you're content with the beginning, learning from the action, fearless of the climax, embracing of the fall, and unaware of the resolution.

In my view, the world doesn't know where it's going, let alone your first, second, and third connections.?

Yes, it's difficult. No one quite understands what you're going through. Nor will anyone. Ever. And that's okay. It's your life. You are what you are because you've made some decisions in the past that has led you to this moment.?

Everyone; leads a different life. No matter how much they try to fit theirs into a framework that is tried and tested. Yet, there will always be aspects where you can't. Simply because life is a multivariate equation to which variables keep getting added.?

Instead of feeling overwhelmed by these variables, I would suggest starting small with simple things. Start simple by making a to-do list of things you wish to do. Work-wise, or otherwise. Start maybe with a schedule. That you want to get to, or may be... need to.?

You're sleeping at 3? Set a reminder on your phone to help you sleep at 2. Start with small changes to your current schedule. Whatever works. Start with meditation apps like balance or headspace and see if you can follow them. If you stop doing it after a week. Two weeks. A month. That's okay! Acknowledge that you've stopped. Admit your mistakes. Learn from those and restart again after a week.?

Failed to list out your to-dos? That's okay! Acknowledge, learn, and implement. Realize that accountability is a good aspect of what working in an industry is all about, or for that matter, your life too.?

Every commit you make. Every word you speak. Every email you write. Every message you send. Every ounce of water you used. Every watt of electricity you consume. There's a sense of accountability associated with that. Take a moment, and acknowledge it.?

Can't start work-wise? Start otherwise. Cook your food on time. Set a cleaning schedule for your apartment. Start off small with your room. Start off even small with your desk. Start off even smaller. Have a bath. Start off even smaller. Brush your teeth.

If you make mistakes, that is okay. I only say it's okay because I don't have to pay for them. I already did. You will have to. When you realize that, your inner self will want to do better.?

What no one tells you is life is a process, and so is everything within it. No one is good at everything every time.?

Some have learned to focus on some things. Just because they didn't have to worry about other things. Some, who've always had money, just had to study. People with money and good skills had to stay persistent with their learning. People without means had to gain those means, study, and work while managing everything simultaneously. If anything, people who've struggled the most have learned the most in life, have a much more holistic view of what life is about, and steadily improve themselves while living their life, without maybe even realizing it.?

In my view, total compensation is an excellent way to feel good about yourself because you live what you've learned. So, it may be that all you've learned in this capitalistic society we live in is that if you make good money, you're successful. But what we fail to understand is we live a reality we've created for ourselves. Collectively and individually. Don't beat yourself with a bat, but recognize that we've also chosen our reality. If we don't work hard for it, no one will work hard for us.?

In the end, it's a game of survival. The fittest survive. If you don't learn that, your future self will have to eventually learn that.?

Seems to me that you may be at that stage, or else you wouldn't be here... so far from the start!

So recognizing, which you have, is the first step, so congratulations! Some people might still not have recognized that. So you're ahead on the curve in some aspects. And way behind on some. And that's okay.?

Every version of you will always play a "catch-up" game. For that compensation. For that company. For that promotion. For love. For family. For friends. For happiness. For tranquility. And... that is okay!?

Once you recognize that your today is resting on all your yesterdays. And all your tomorrows are resting on your todays. You'll be most likely to start working on all your todays.?

So start wherever you feel like you need to. Have this talk with yourself. Have this talk with yourself every day. Until you feel like you've achieved what these other people with hefty compensation have either had the privilege to have it easy. Or for the people who've worked very hard. Both of them will say the same thing.?

Some... with more arrogance than others. Some, with vague statements. And some with a step-by-step guideline. And some, like me, which is just a younger version of you, rambling on for days... If you slept reading this post... that's okay! It'll still be here when you wake up!

Know that you'll never be good at everything, most probably, anything, and that's okay. In the end, all we can do is try.

So, where possible, try harder... and hey... live a little!

You go around only once...