Thanksgiving Week: Change the Road Your Traveling On

Life is a summary of the choices made. You can change it at any time.

I am so thankful that even when sometimes the road we travel on isn't taking us somewhere we want to go, we have the ability to make a choice to leave that road and travel on a different road.

There are many ways to enable the choice or attitude that let's us escape the boundaries we have put on ourselves. For example, viewing ourselves through heaven's eyes, instead of with the limiting mortal perspective or whatever negative view we have picked up.

Another is by using the gift of gratitude to lift ourselves and others. It's hard when we're wallowing in self-pity, to think gratefully, but it can literally transform our thoughts and lives. Sometimes, we don't want to change, so it becomes a lot harder in those times.

"When nothing is expected and everything is appreciated, life becomes magical." "Each morning is a gift from God." "You will never be happier than you are grateful." All true quotes from Elder Gary Sabin of the Seventy.

Another way we can change the road we are on is by reframing. We can do that in many ways, but one way is by asking ourselves, "Is it possible that..." and then challenging whatever limiting assumptions we've come up with.

For example, is I am doubting my new life - transitioning from the military to civilian life, laid off, starting a new role, going through a change in my relationships - I can ask myself, "Is it possible that this new change will bring a better road than the one I was traveling?"

"Is it possible that whatever conclusion I've drawn, such as there will be pain involved, etc, is NOT true and I am imaging something I think might happen?" "Is it possible that the person I am estranged to at this moment, isn't what I thought about them and that I was mistaken?"

Lastly, another way I can change the road I am on is by cultivating and empowering my "observer self." Marilee Adams says it very well in her book, "Change your questions, change your life.'

She says, "The observer self is the basis for self-reflection and self-initiated intentional change.... It is sometimes experienced as a feeling of watching a movie in which we are one of the actors, or simply as watching ourselves from a distance."

"The more we develop our observer self, the more we are in charge of our thoughts, feelings, and actions. And, the less likely we are to be controlled by people and circumstances outside of ourselves."

For me, I don't reframe so much, although I do without the conscious recognition that I am reframing. Rather, I see in my "mind's eye" that I am heading down a road I don't want to be on - overly critical, too judgemental, sarcastic, or generally not happy - and make a course correction,

I am so thankful I have developed that ability in my life. It has been a great blessing many times. I developed long before I knew what positive psychology is or read positive thinking gurus and happiness experts.

So I know for myself that reframing and changing the road I am on is something beneficial to lift my mood or help me accomplish something I didn't think was possible. The key is developing the observer self or whatever you want to call it.

"We must be willing to let go of the life we planned, so as to have the life in front of us." Joseph Campbell

How do you notice what's happening within yourself? How do you change roads, when the road you're on isn't taking you to a destination you want to be? How do you reframe for a better result?