Thanksgiving

?? Sharing with you my memorable Thanksgiving conflict - read-only if you are anxious to spend your Holiday with ?loved? ones.

???????? Are you excited or anxious to spend time with your family/friends? If you are excited, then I invite you to move on to the next post unless you are wildly curious... If you are anxious and want some consolation, a laugh, or something to compare your stories to, or a way out, I invite you to read about my introduction to my new family over Thanksgiving.

It was my second marriage's first Thanksgiving; I begged my husband to invite his family to our home, he begrudgingly agreed and warned me that it may not be the Thanksgiving celebration I had in mind as I did not yet know his family. I would not listen as I had visions of lots of hugs, laughter, card games into the night, and children running through the house laughing and playing hide-and-seek with Holiday music playing gleefully in the background. The players were me, my husband, his mother, her husband, his son, and his girlfriend, along with her two young children.

Shortly after the arrival of the entire family in one car, the children found our piano and began playing (plinking Chopsticks), which set off my husband's mother after their fifteenth time badly playing the song. She made a loud and sharp order for the kids to "Stop that horrible noise." This comment instantly offended both my husband and his son, not to mention his girlfriend (the mother of the children). The rest of us were in shock and stepped back to watch the drama unfold. My husband firmly confronted his mother, saying, "She had no business telling his guests what they could or could not do and that it was OK for the kids to play the piano in his home." This started a loud and intense clash between mother and son. My husband's son went outside and sat in the car with his grandmother's husband, who had already retreated to the car the moment things began to stir. Both refused to come inside because of the drama between his grandmother and father. I spent at least thirty minutes unsuccessfully trying to coax the two back into the house.

Coming back into the house, I could feel the uncommon chill in the air as my husband was desperately trying to put the dinner together, with his mother in the background muttering loudly from her perch on the couch. The children were now tenuously sitting still, not really knowing what to do. The girlfriend and I were left with the rest of the food prep in the kitchen, quietly listening to the theatrics.

When the outdoor grilled turkey was fully cooked, my husband began to walk inside with the perfectly cooked turkey on a platter; before he made it to the front door, he slipped on some algae build-up under the fir needle-covered deck. The turkey went flying, landing on its side, breaking that side apart, and embedding the juicy meat with pine needles. As my husband picked up the turkey (and turkey parts strewn over the deck), his mother moved from the couch to get back at her son for how she felt shut down after she yelled at the kids. She began to berate her son for being so stupid in how he handled the turkey, insisting that we would have nothing to eat because of his clumsiness. She again took up her spot on the couch and began an even bigger pout. Her husband was still hiding in the car with my husband's son choosing not to participate in this drama.

My husband was beside himself (but because he is not a quitter), trying to figure out how he was going to pull his family gathering off with a busted turkey and angry adults.

We chose to keep the good side of the turkey turned up and sliced and set aside the broken side just like most turkey dinners are presented, although there were a few pine needles, so we graced the platter with fir tree twigs just like it had been planned. To add to the insult was an injury; my husband hurt his hip when he slipped with the turkey and was in a lot of pain.

Once we had everything on the table and were ready for the feast, it was time to bring everyone to the table, which, by now, at least three adults were in their corners pouting. My husband was able to work things out with his son and miraculously convinced his mother and her husband to sit at the table with the rest of us. The kids were all wide-eyed and very hungry. Everyone sat at the table in a silence you could cut with a carving knife.

My husband chose to make a speech about thankfulness and a plea for forgiveness for all. He asked everyone to take hands and think of something they were grateful for. He asked them to come together as a family and remember the point of this day. There was more, but the ice was melting. By the time he finished the prayer, everyone relaxed and began to pass food. The drama had been abated and people started to talk and eat.

He truly pulled it all off. Whew, what a hero my husband was!

We didn't quite get to singing Kumbaya, playing fun games, singing, dancing, or holding hands because we were all exhausted from the day's earlier drama. We did finished the day with everyone hugging each other and wishing each other a safe journey home as they departed for their five-plus hour car drive home. This was my introduction to true family drama. Now I got it. I would spend the rest of my life finding ways to help people stop playing into their dramas once I learned how...

We have since not repeated that fateful Thanksgiving nightmare. I have more stories of anguish and pain over the Holidays, as I'm sure you do too; I now have more laughter, kindness, and joy because of some new choices both my husband and I have made and new boundaries we've set, as well as fully supporting my own children setting their own boundaries and making their own choices.

We are who we choose to be in all things and at all times. Who are you choosing to be this Thanksgiving?

If you are anxious about your family, know that you are not alone... and you have the power to change yourself and your outcomes.

If you are excited, then take this as a funny story that you hope NEVER to top.

I've seen some families choose to celebrate that Holiday with friends over family - to keep the peace. I acknowledge you for your decision to think of your own peace of mind. You can't be kind to others when you are not able to find a place of emotional peace.

What would make this a Thanksgiving you'll fondly remember? I encourage you to do that.

#Thanksgiving #Grateful #FunnyFamilyStories #NoArgumentsPlease #Conflict #PeaceOfMind