Thanksgiving & Oikei?sis

As the holiday season approaches, the air fills with thoughts of gratitude, togetherness, and celebration. Thanksgiving, in particular, invites us to pause, share meals with loved ones, and reflect on the blessings in our lives. Yet, beyond turkey and tradition, Thanksgiving offers a deeper opportunity to connect with a concept central to Stoic philosophy: Oikei?sis.

This ancient Greek term, often translated as “affinity” or “sense of belonging,” lies at the heart of Stoicism’s teachings about human nature, our relationships, and our role in the larger cosmos. By exploring the idea of Oikei?sis in light of Thanksgiving, we can uncover timeless lessons about gratitude, unity, and the pursuit of a meaningful life.

Understanding Oikei?sis: The Roots of Connection

Oikei?sis, for the Stoics, begins with a fundamental truth: we are all born with an instinct for self-preservation and a natural affinity toward what benefits us. A newborn baby instinctively seeks warmth, nourishment, and protection. As we grow, this self-focused instinct expands outward. We begin to recognize that our well-being is intimately tied to the well-being of others.

The Stoic philosopher Hierocles famously illustrated this concept through a series of concentric circles. At the center lies the self. The next circle encompasses immediate family, then friends, neighbors, fellow citizens, and ultimately all of humanity. Oikei?sis teaches us to draw these outer circles closer, treating those within them with the same care and concern as we do ourselves.

In a season dedicated to gratitude and community, what could be more fitting than embracing Oikei?sis? Thanksgiving calls us to expand our circles, to recognize our shared humanity, and to cultivate a sense of belonging—not only with those at our table but with the broader world.

Thanksgiving as a Practice of Oikei?sis

The Thanksgiving table serves as a microcosm of Oikei?sis in action. When we gather with family or friends, we experience the natural bonds of connection. But Thanksgiving also challenges us to extend gratitude beyond our immediate circle.

Consider this: the food on your table represents the labor of countless individuals—farmers who cultivate the crops, truck drivers who transport the goods, grocers who stock the shelves, and countless others in between. The warmth of the room where you share these moments is made possible by engineers who design heating systems, builders who construct homes, and energy workers who keep the lights on. Though these invisible contributors may never cross our paths, they play a vital role in our lives. Recognizing their efforts helps us see the intricate web of interdependence that supports us every day.

Marcus Aurelius, the Roman emperor and Stoic philosopher, reminds us in his Meditations, "What affects the hive affects the bee." Thanksgiving offers a moment to reflect on this truth. Our lives are not isolated. They are interwoven with the lives of others, and our gratitude should reflect that interdependence. Through the lens of Oikei?sis, Thanksgiving becomes more than a holiday—it becomes a practice of expanding our circles, appreciating our shared humanity, and nurturing a profound sense of belonging.

Gratitude as a Stoic Virtue

In Stoicism, gratitude is not a fleeting emotion but a deliberate practice. The Stoics understood that cultivating gratitude shifts our focus from what we lack to what we have, fostering contentment and resilience. Epicurus wrote, "Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for."

Thanksgiving aligns beautifully with this teaching. It invites us to pause and recognize the abundance in our lives, even amidst challenges. Gratitude, for the Stoics, is not passive. It requires action—a conscious effort to appreciate, to give thanks, and to reciprocate the kindness we receive.

Imagine applying this Stoic practice of gratitude during Thanksgiving. As you sit down to your meal, consider not just the food before you but the relationships that sustain you. Acknowledge the hands that prepared the meal, the sacrifices that made it possible, and the unseen forces that bring warmth and light to your home. Gratitude, when seen through the Stoic lens, transforms Thanksgiving into a celebration of interconnectedness and mutual support.

“True happiness is to enjoy the present, without anxious dependence upon the future, not to amuse ourselves with either hopes or fears but to rest satisfied with what we have, which is sufficient, for he that is so wants nothing. The greatest blessings of mankind are within us and within our reach. A wise man is content with his lot, whatever it may be, without wishing for what he has not.”—Seneca, Letters from a Stoic

Practicing Oikei?sis Amidst Division

While Thanksgiving embodies unity in its ideal form, it can also bring reminders of division—within families, communities, or society at large. The world today often feels fragmented, with differences in opinion, belief, and circumstance pulling us apart. Here, Oikei?sis offers a powerful antidote. Seneca teaches in his Moral Letters:

This universe that you see, containing the human and the divine, is a unity; we are the limbs of a mighty body. Nature brought us to birth as kin, since it generated us all from the same materials and for the same purposes, endowing us with affection for one another and making us companionable. Nature established fairness and justice. According to nature’s dispensation, it is worse to harm than to be harmed. On the basis of nature’s command, let our hands be available to help whenever necessary. Let this verse be in your heart and in your mouth: I am a human being, I regard nothing human as foreign to me. Let us hold things in common, as we are born for the common good. Our companionship is just like an arch, which would collapse without the stones’ mutual support to hold it up. — Seneca, Moral Letters, 95.52-3

This reminder urges us to look beyond superficial divisions and see others as part of the same human family. Oikei?sis challenges us to dissolve the barriers that separate “us” from “them.” It asks us to extend compassion, even when it is difficult.

At the Thanksgiving table, this might mean setting aside disagreements to focus on shared values. It might mean listening with patience and understanding rather than seeking to win an argument. It might mean extending kindness to someone who feels like an outsider. These small acts of connection reflect the Stoic ideal of Oikei?sis in a tangible, meaningful way.

Oikei?sis and Gratitude in Action

Thanksgiving is not just a day—it is an opportunity to carry the principles of Oikei?sis and gratitude into everyday life. Here are some ways to practice these Stoic ideals beyond the holiday:

1. Expand Your Circles: Make a conscious effort to include others, whether by reaching out to someone who may feel isolated or supporting causes that uplift your community. Remember that Oikei?sis calls us to extend care beyond our immediate circle.
2. Reflect on Interconnection: Take time to consider how the efforts of others contribute to your daily life. Express gratitude for these contributions, whether through a kind word, a note of thanks, or a simple moment of reflection.
3. Cultivate a Grateful Mindset: Keep a gratitude journal or set aside a few minutes each day to acknowledge what you are thankful for. Gratitude, like any virtue, strengthens with practice.
4. Foster Unity in Diversity: In your interactions, seek common ground rather than focusing on differences. Approach others with curiosity and empathy, recognizing them as fellow citizens of the universe.

Oikei?sis as a Path to Inner Peace

At its core, Oikei?sis is a concept that transcends mere external connections; it is about deeply aligning ourselves with the natural order and accepting our rightful place within the vast cosmos. For the Stoics, this alignment was the key to true tranquility. They taught that inner peace comes when we live in harmony with our essential nature, recognizing that we are not isolated individuals but interconnected parts of a greater whole. This harmony is cultivated by acknowledging our interdependence, practicing sincere gratitude, and embracing our responsibilities as social beings dedicated to the well-being of others.

As we gather to celebrate Thanksgiving, this ancient wisdom offers us a profound lens through which to view the holiday. More than just a day of feasting or tradition, Thanksgiving can become a time to reflect on our connections—to our families, our communities, and the natural world. By embracing the principles of Oikei?sis, we deepen our understanding of gratitude and unity. Living in alignment with these values, we honor the spirit of the holiday by not only giving thanks but also committing to live with a renewed sense of purpose, connection, and harmony.

A Thanksgiving Reflection

This Thanksgiving, as you gather with loved ones or spend time in quiet reflection, take a moment to consider the wider circles of your life. Who has shaped your journey? Who contributes to your well-being in unseen ways? How can you expand your sense of belonging and gratitude?

Let the Stoic concept of Oikei?sis guide your reflections. Remember that Thanksgiving is not just a celebration of abundance but an invitation to recognize the threads that bind us to one another and to the world around us. With thoughts grounded in gratitude and a heart open to connection, Thanksgiving becomes more than a holiday. It becomes a living practice of Stoic philosophy—a time to align with the nature of things, embrace our shared humanity, and find peace in the beauty of belonging.

So, this Thanksgiving, let Oikei?sis inspire you. Draw your circles closer. Give thanks not just for what you have but for who you are—a citizen of the cosmos, deeply connected to all of existence.

“Hence, nature has, as though it were not ignorant of why it creates us, nicely brought each of us into the world with, in a way, an ally. Thus, no one is alone, or born from an oak or a rock, but rather from parents and with brothers and relatives and other members of the household. Reason, too, is a great aid, which appropriates strangers and those wholly unrelated to us by blood and provides us with an abundance of allies. For this reason, we are eager by nature to win over and make a friend of everyone. Thus, that act is the most complete kind of madness: to wish to be joined with those who bear no affection toward us by nature and deliberately, to the greatest extent possible, to confer family bond on them, but to neglect those helpers and caretakers who are at hand and have been bestowed upon us by nature, such as it happens that our brothers are.” —Hierocles