Thanksgiving 2020

I wrote this when I awoke on thanksgiving morning. I know that for my friends and colleagues outside of the United States, the context and examples might not be relevant. But I believe the big idea of this applies to us all. I hope you find it helpful.

The brisket is smoking, instead of a bird being deep-fried. But while the table won’t have a turkey, there’ll still be too much to eat.

Fewer will be around the table and we will be in a different place than most years. But the people I’ll eat with are among those I love the most.

If you live in New York, you can’t go to a parade. But just like always you can see the balloons and Broadways show tunes on your TV.

One football game has been postponed. But those in Dallas and Detroit will be played like they always are.

These are just four ways that while things seem different, there is much the same. 

When we look back at traditions, we think they don’t change. We think in snapshots of the predictable parts. But when you consider Thanksgivings past as a movie, rather than a series of still images, you see that it always evolves. Kids grow older. Your kids have kids. The family grows, the family shrinks. New side dishes and desserts are tried. And if they have been there for three years, some will consider them a part of a traditional Thanksgiving.

So much focus is being placed on this Thanksgiving being different – and it is. While the changes may seem more prevalent and personal this year, remember that things are always changing. Normal evolves, except in our memory. Time spent mourning the loss keeps your from reveling in the changes.

My advice?

Remember the past. Talk about the things you miss with joy for those memories. Laugh at the things that always make you laugh and remember those who may be missing from your table. 

Love the present. It may not be perfect. It may not be what you wanted or hoped for. But while I am not sitting at the table in your house, I know that even if times are tough, and even if you are sad at the things you have lost, there is much around you to be grateful for.

Anticipate the future. Next year when you gather for Thanksgiving, will you be more mindful and grateful for the things you missed this year that have returned. There may also be some things you did this year that you loved and want to add to your future traditional Thanksgiving memory bank.

We think about Thanksgiving as festive event sharing food with our families.  But Thanksgiving is more than that. It is a chance to be reminded of the things we have to be thankful for, including our memories of the past and our hopes for the future.

Make it a happy Thanksgiving, remembering there is much to be thankful for, even in the unpredictable, unsettling year of 2020.