THANKSGIVING 2018
As another year draws to a close, I feel like reflecting on gratitude. It’s odd that in the richest country in the world, we have some of the most unhappy people. We needn’t look much further than Hollywood for examples. Look at how many movie stars and musicians have everything they could ever want, yet, look at how many of them have committed suicide or accidentally overdosed in recent years. However, we can look at some of the poorest nations in the world and you see them smiling and joyful. So many of those people have no water or electricity, and food is scarce. Their life expectancy is short and their infant mortality rate is high, yet somehow they find it within themselves to smile and be grateful for what they have.
For those of you who don’t think that such conditions and people exist here in the U.S., the land where more billionaires reside than anywhere else in the world, I can personally attest to the fact that you are wrong. In my career in law enforcement, as well as my current position in social work, I have had the unfortunate opportunity to witness absolute abject poverty right here in the land of plenty. I recall a couple of residences that I had to leave children in as a police officer, because Children and Family Services had no place for them. One house had floors layered in paper, and between each sheet of paper was animal feces. The odor was overwhelming. There were pathways of old newspapers throughout the house that one had to navigate to get anywhere. The old man who lived there was the child’s grandfather, who could barely care for himself, but I had to leave the young man in those conditions. It was little wonder that he was out on the streets at all hours of the night. In another case, I brought a child who had committed some petty crime back to his house in the projects. They had so few possessions, that I wondered how the boy would eat. In the corner of the ceiling I noticed something moving. It was an entire swarm of cockroaches. It made skin crawl, but again Child Welfare would not remove him, because there was no physical danger to him other than unclean living conditions.
In one of my other positions, I had a client who suffered similarly. He had struggled greatly to find a job and maintain control of his addiction. He drank to cover the pain from trauma in his life. Something told him enough was enough, so he decided to change his life. He finished a class, the first thing he had completed since high school, that changed him internally and allowed him to view the world and his role in it in a totally different way. However, that didn’t change the dire poverty he was facing, even though he had a job offer right after he graduated. I had the opportunity to see his home, and he, his disabled wife, and son were living in a house with no electricity, no water, and no furniture. His wife was laying on the hard wood floor with a blanket to cover her, while the son sat cross-legged in front of a candle eating some chips. It was one of the saddest things I’d ever seen in this country. How can this happen? Fortunately, we were able to provide some short-term fixes until his job started to pay him. The one thing I did notice was that they were smiling. Why? How is it that someone with so little could be happy and grateful for something like a small class in this culture where we value things like material items, name brands, sports, and entertainment above all? Our culture subscribes to the mindset that if we get, then we will be happy, and when we are happy, we will be grateful. It’s no wonder that so many are on anti-depressants in the richest country in the world. We have it all backwards. True happiness comes from gratitude in the first place, gratitude for what you have now, not what you think you want in the future. The gift of family, a roof over your head, clean water, and food to eat are huge blessings. They alone place you in a better position than a huge portion of the world, and even many in this country.
When I looked back over my career and my life, I couldn’t help but be grateful for all that I have. We talk about an “attitude of gratitude”, but it often falls by the wayside once Thanksgiving is over, as we concentrate on what we want for Christmas, or how your team is doing on Sunday. We forget our gratitude when life gets hard. It’s hard to think about how fortunate you are when you struggle to pay the bills, get in a fender bender, get cut-off in traffic, or get sick. I know it happens to me, but it’s gotten better over the years. Like most, I’ve been through ups and downs. That’s just how life is. After I was shot in the head, I walked around angry at the world for years. All it got me was more heartache and pain. It was about my perspective. I was feeling sorry for myself when I should have been grateful for drawing breath, seeing out of my eye, and being able to swallow normally, which were all unlikely after the accident. Even though I have pain every day, I try to view it as a blessing now, although I don’t always succeed. It’s still better than the alternative, and it reminds me of where I was and where I am now. My life has gotten so much better in the last ten years, I would never have envisioned it back then. So, when we talk about gratitude around Thanksgiving, lets try to carry that throughout the year. Realize how fortunate you are, even if you aren’t rich or don’t have that Tommy Bahama shirt you really want or the latest video game. How long will it take for those things to wear out or for you to lose interest leading you to seek happiness in the next item? Happiness is an internal state of mind, which for me was brought about by my faith in Jesus. I know I need Him in my life daily to maintain that gratitude and keep my mind focused on my calling. What’s it going to take for you? Next time that filthy homeless man in tattered shoes comes up to you at the stoplight or on the street will you avert his eyes and move along or roll down the window and give him some change? I used to be offended, or at least uncomfortable giving money to homeless people, because I was pretty sure they would just use it for drugs or booze, but I’ve come to a different place in my life. I can’t imagine what that person is going through, but if they are begging for money, their life is infinitely worse than mine. If I have change to spare, I give it to them now, and what they do with it is not my concern. It is between them and God. I’m sure some use it for purposes I wouldn’t approve of, but some also use it for food and necessities. It’s not my money anyway. It belongs to my creator, and I’m just the steward. Would he prefer I spend it on some junk I really don’t need or give it away to someone who does need it? How you answer that question is likely reflective on your attitude of gratitude. Happy Thanksgiving!