Thanks and Thoughts...

I know we are all busy being held hostage by the tears, battle cries, and Freudian slips of White women (the vast majority of whom voted for Donald Trump, lest we forget) but if you could indulge me momentarily…

I would like to thank everyone who has called, texted, emailed, sent gifts, and especially sent up prayers on my behalf since May 14. I have not been able to read them all, in part due to emotional triggers. The overlap of the subject matter I have dedicated my career to under Crawley Cultural Consulting and the motive for the Buffalo massacre is uncanny. While I recognize the obvious need to continue my work, having conversations about racism and White supremacy is excruciating right now. I am doing my best to work through it. Every aspect of my life has changed. To my current business clients, your patience and understanding has been deeply appreciated. To prospective clients, I am only accepting requests for (unrelated) speaking events and trainings at this time. I will resume full-service offerings at a later date.

I have received threats from White supremacists and messages from "progressive" White women telling *me* not to make this about race. While we will never be coerced into a “race war”, there will also be no singing of Kumbaya or calls for peace. We are not the aggressor. We will also not allow a blanketed narrative about gun violence to overshadow the racial terror and perpetual threat of violence specifically against the Black community. You can choke on your mentions of "Black on Black crime" if they are accompanied by a convenient sidestep of the psychological, economic, educational, state-sponsored efforts to subjugate enslaved Africans and?all?of their ("free") descendants. Your reluctance to specifically amplify the unique existential threat to Black life is palpable, particularly as it follows public declarations from most of you in 2020 that "Black Lives Matter". Very curious, indeed...

You can choke on your mentions of "Black on Black crime" if they are accompanied by a convenient sidestep of the psychological, economic, educational, state-sponsored efforts to subjugate enslaved Africans and?all?of their ("free") descendants.

We have been stripped of our ancient grief rituals where the living assisted the departed in their transition and the community helped mourners with theirs. There have been no proper goodbyes. Just media frenzies, unimaginable greed, and photo-ops for opportunist. Our feet have not touched the ground. There has been no rest, no nourishment, no therapy,?no promises kept. It is the hope of many that we go quietly into the night. My uncles have been clear that we will do no such thing.?We will have our justice, but it will never be enough.

The movement for Black liberation does not need those who act entirely out of emotion or those who are completely disassociated and desensitized. Most people have subconsciously become the latter. It is how they so quickly shift back into a false sense of safety and normalcy. As survivors of anti-Black violence, holding one another to unfair expectations of processing immeasurable pain does not honor our humanity or the legacy of our loved ones.?We are not machines. Rage, panic attacks, hypersensitivity, fear, paranoia, and suicidal ideation result from racial terror. We have been taught that our ancestors shifted immediately into action after trauma. We took to the streets immediately in 2020 but we sit here two years on with what fruits of that labor? I have felt pressured by activists and public officials but I will not act prematurely simply to appease the movement. I assure you that the work is progressing, it is the?feelings?that are not.

As survivors of anti-Black violence, holding one another to unfair expectations of processing immeasurable pain does not honor our humanity or the legacy of our loved ones.?We are not machines.

Outside of the politicized nature of the motive, I am forced to reconcile the basic fact that?my grandmother was murdered. As someone who has tirelessly advocated for the mental wellness of my people, it is important to say publicly that?I am not ok. I will not be minimizing my raw emotions like those displayed in my previous LinkedIn post for the sake of respectability politics. In fact, I hope they make you feel quite uncomfortable. Such comfort is reserved for the privileged and the revolution demands an end to it. There is immeasurable power in these emotions, so long as they do not consume you. I will not be rushed through mourning by the hustle culture of capitalism. Your urgency to respond after the loss of Black life, especially because you think White people will not care later, is a result of both the capitalist machine and White supremacy. We all grieve differently but the point is to actually grieve. This pain must not sit in our chests. It must not be ignored.

I will not be rushed through mourning by the hustle culture of capitalism.

I hope you have been doing your reading and your resting. May we all prepare our hearts and minds for the shift ahead. There is much to do and discuss. Decisions and demands to be made. As a reminder, the real revolution?will not?be televised or be on social media or be decided by the Supreme Court. It has already begun inside of you. Choose wisely for even inaction is a choice.

United In Grief (And Liberation),

Simone A. Crawley

a pro-Black empath