The Thanks-For-Having-Me Syndrome

Those who follow my online ramblings know I get a massive kick from fellow LinkedIn contacts and colleagues who use LinkedIn as an ego booster. I refer to previous articles like the Award Pandemic, the Compliment Culture, the Busyness Virus and Your Stupid Colleague. These articles describe my observations in a tongue-in-cheek manner.

Thank god I have had the pleasure to work with many colleagues, bosses, and LinkedIn contacts that form an endless source of inspiration. This time I need to put the spotlight on my colleagues and contacts that have fallen victim to the 'Thanks-For-Having-Me" Syndrome.

Mea Culpa

Let me start with a disclaimer. Personally, I had a period where I was heavily infected with the TFHM virus and it took me quite some time, and professional help, to get rid of it. I had to go cold turkey; I am cured, and this article is my final thesis to eliminate it.

The Target Victim Group

Based on my own analysis, individuals aged 40-55, in the midst of their midlife crisis, are most susceptible to the TFHM virus. Usually, both their private life as well as their professional life is off the rails. Their secret Tinder adventures, the Harley Davidson, and their mistresses (trust me, I had all) have not led to any result and the crisis starts to have its impact.

The Predators

A Tsunami of event organizers is daily active exploring LinkedIn for speakers for their events. The business model for events is evident; get 6 speakers on a specific (popular) topic, put these on an agenda, mailbomb your contacts, invite people to pay an entrance fee, or invite vendors or sponsors to fund the event. Kadang! There you go. A few $1000 in the pocket.

The annual calendar has to squeeze all these events in just five months and the demand for speakers is way higher than the available pool of potential, capable speakers. Not a week goes by I receive a shotgun email from an organizer asking if I wish to speak at their leading event. They don't know me, they have no clue if I can speak, but I get invited as a Keynote speaker at their event.

The approach

The innocent frustrated victim, desperate for attention, receives the invitation to speak for an event. Like a hungry Icebeer exploring the melting Northpole for seals, they jump on the invitation. Hooray, finally attention! Before they know they say 'yes', have to create a speech, need to get internal marketing signoff from their company, get stressed for the event, and soon regret they ever said "yes".

The prologue

The heavily infected victims, gladly share the invitation of the event organizer on LinkedIn. The kick of showing their name on the invitation with the rest of their network and broadcasting they were elected to speak at this 'prestigious' event is irresistible. They read the book 'You the brand' and grab the unique opportunity to finally profile themselves. The dopamine starts to kick in.

"Look how important I am, and in how much demand."

The event

There they are, nervous for their speech, waiting for their event to start. Quickly they make a selfie with the audience and off they go. Unaware they are just wallpaper for this event, they do your speech.

In front of an audience, usually filled with uninterested fellows who are happy to have a day out of the office, they do their talk. Once finished, with the ecstasy all over their body, they step into the crowd during the coffee intermission, eager to hear how much they enjoyed your speech.

The climax

Twenty minutes later the dopamine has left their body. The efforts they put into the presentation by no means match the lame response they got from the event. Desperately they grab their mobile phone, open LinkedIn, and post that selfie they took.

As if on autopilot they type:

"I feel humbled and grateful with the opportunity to speak today at <event> as organized by <organizer>. THANKS FOR HAVING ME!

Again: Look how important I am. Hire me if you need someone as good as I am.

The only right attitude

"So what?" you may ask, "what should I do?"

Of course, you should accept the invitation. Public Speaking is a skill you can only learn by doing it. If you really want to humble, leave it over to the organizers to thank you. The value of compliments voiced by others is 100x more powerful than self-gratification.

I hear you ask, "...and what if they do not thank me?"

It's OK. It was a great learning opportunity. You had to develop a presentation, speak in public, and have moved your inner needle.

Epilogue

"Thanks for having me write this article"