Thankless

This writing year is ending darkly. There are certain people who compare gratitude to oxygen on this site. Thank you for that. When a supervisor says "Thank you" she is abrupt and trying to get rid of us.

All hell broke loose when I said "When you say thank you, you really mean F you." She was ready to fire me. Sometimes she threatens to fire me the way Fred Sanford threatened to have a heart attack on Sanford and Son.

As I am run ragged- go ahead and "Fire" the one who shows up to work every day on time. Your staffing is so great that someone can fill my void. That was last week. There is little continuity at work. Certainly no growth in this relationship.

I do what I do. Management might treat me like a criminal. The work is fluid. Things change all the time and I am yelled at for not doing the one thing I was doing. If I were a fireman and noticed new flames, should I put out the smaller fire of focus on the first fire?

There are no easy answers. I would rather not receive the angry "Thank you". She says it and I cannot feel it. In a court of law, it was stated. If you can't feel it- say what you mean and mean what you say. Don't pretend you are nice.

It is so easy to be helpful. I am hated for helping others. I was hated for being nice to my sister when she was a baby. It never stopped me from nurturing what was probably the greatest and most significant relationship in my life. I sold myself short in enough relationships. I don't want regrets that I wasn't there for a baby in my house.

She was receptive. Most colleagues are as well. If that elicits dirty looks from management- one would think I was teaching an Afghani girl how to read. Is the unnecessary resentment comparable to The Taliban? If the shoe fits.

What angry narcissists (today is my father's birthday, incidentally) never realize is that I don't stop. You can't kill an idea. If I find something in a relationship that is successful; I shall continue doing it. Sitting down and shutting up does not benefit anyone. I once let bullies walk all over me.

In theory, they would be satisfied and wouldn't harass me further. In practice, they found a fool whom they could exploit and they took advantage until I drew the line. I stand my ground and am not afraid to die on certain hills. I don't exert an effort at work to please anyone. There is work that needs completing. If you really want to show your appreciation, cash is a good option. They would rather blow smoke.

Keep in mind I recall compliments from long ago. I also remember who was trying to please their supervisor and used me as a pawn in their game. All they make is money. Once that is spent they have no further legacy.