A Thank You to women who have supported my history

HISTORY. Noun. “The study of past events, particularly human affairs.” “The whole series of past events connected with someone or something.”

In honor of Women’s History Month, I wanted to thank some important women who positively impacted my personal and professional history. ?Like angels, I have had women enter my life and help me at times when I wanted it, and times when I needed it more than I understood at the time.

After decades of being a workaholic as my way of avoiding my traumatic childhood, I began my journey of self-awareness and healing. ?As a coping mechanism, I had told people I was ‘fine’ for most of 30 years when I was not.? I didn’t get much emotional support in my childhood for several reasons I'm not going to explain here. Highlights include growing up without my mother actively in my life by her choice, a couple other traumatic events, and my family proving over and over that they didn’t have my back. From that, I learned maladaptive behaviors and I went out into the world na?ve and unprepared.? I was on my own to figure things out.? ?

I chose what I wanted to learn at college because I paid for my education - both my undergrad and graduate degrees.? And I made a point to suck the life out of those learning opportunities because I also had to work multiple jobs to pay off the student loan debt that came with the education. ?In Speech Communication, I learned interpersonal and non-verbal communication, persuasion, the art of discourse, and public speaking. I also learned small group communication that included how to observe and handle social dynamics, and be a team member, as well as, a leader -- none of those having been exemplified at home during my childhood. ??When I got into the workforce, I hadn’t had many positive female role models nor gained much information on being a woman, in general, up to that point. ?You could say I was left to learn those things on the job - so women in the workplace became my teachers. ??

In the eighties, women in the workplace were striving hard to make their place in business and, for the most part, I observed them doing it by acting like men.? Many dressed like men, were outwardly competitive, self-promoting, and threatened by younger females coming into the workplace. ?I remember one of my first female bosses, Alice, telling me at my performance review, “Well, you not going to get MY JOB, so I don’t know what you want from me.” ?What I heard next was the teacher talking in the Charlie Brown comic – wah wah wah wah wah. ?It was clear that she had no constructive feedback for me about my work over the last year and no intention on helping my career success. ?The reality was, I didn’t WANT her job. ?I could have made her look good if she had any clue how to harness my talents and my work ethic to her advantage. ?But instead, she lost out because I took her apathy as a sign that it was time to move on and the next day, I gave two weeks' notice of my resignation. ??

Over the years, there were a couple other examples of women like Alice, but more often I have been blessed to have angels in human form come into my life when I needed them. ?They were not-so-aggressive or threatened women who serendipitously arrived and whose energy drew me to them. ?I craved mothering and approval that I hadn’t received in my formative years. ?These are women who I now call my ‘mother friends’ or ‘sister friends’ of various ages who taught me work related things but also general life skills. ?

Most were/are understated, wicked smart and business savvy ladies who freely gave me advice which I soaked up like a sponge.? Several modeled confident grace and leadership qualities that I first envied, but then learned to emulate.? Others helped me with the politics of work relationships, navigating patriarchal organizational cultures and the executive ranks in business.? Some helped me renew my faith and supported my spiritual growth, while others coached me more personally and practically about general etiquette in social settings, handling money, what self-care looks like, and how to navigate my marriage.

• It’s these women who taught me that I didn’t have to act like a man in business to get ahead.? My gifts of intuition, empathy, organizational and people skills - which are generally feminine traits – are innate talents I should embrace and value.
• It's these women who were self-less in sharing their time, unique gifts, wisdom, and perspectives who taught me that I can accept feedback when it comes from a place of caring and doesn't sound like the criticism I heard in my childhood. And who helped me hear what I needed to consider, accept or change in myself or about my situation in order to grow/improve.
• It’s these women that helped me see I didn’t have to compete with them or other women.? There is plenty of work and room for all of us. We are all talented and qualified in different ways because of our unique birth, life and work experiences.? We don’t have to be like anyone else. And not everyone is going to like us regardless - which is okay.

As women, in general, we all have a lot we carry. ?Part or full-time work, home organization, travel planning, caregiving, raising children, doing the finances, etc. etc., etc. ?There’s no place for the cattiness, backstabbing or competition. It’s hard enough just to BE women somedays.

I know I will forever be grateful to a large succession of influential women who might not be famous to the broader world but who have impacted me deeply both in my personal and professional history. THANK YOU is not enough to express my appreciation for them.

I hope you take time this month to reflect on the women in your history that helped craft you. YOU MATTER. People Matter in Business.

Mandy Walker Jill Ward Joette Bartley Michelle Evans Cory Thompson Carin Lockhart Ann Bozeman Anne Robey-Graham, Ed.D. Gabrielle Merritt, MBA, SPHR Julie Lease-Firebaugh, CPA, CGMA Tracey Hudelson Arvinder Dhalla Alicia Yanik Katherine McGraw ?? Patterson Amy Richardson, CNT Destiny DeHaven Kristi Raisch Brigid E. Jones, MBA, BSN, RN-NIC, FACMPE Gennyne Walker Jill W. Leah Colvin, Ph.D. Herminia (Mini) Szasz, MHA Marnie Keith Patricia Rampino Marotta Inverleith Fruci Tessa Ruff Donna Montgomery (she/her) Tia Tuscano Lynnette Stephens Joni Hardy Joyce Peluso June Fidger

Cindy Goyette, SPHR, MAOM, CC – 2024