Thank you Mom...

I came out over 20 years ago and well…it wasn’t great. I was living in Seattle. My brother Timothy Lower was my safe harbor in my visits home after I came out. During one holiday, a woman I was seeing had travelled through St. Louis for a few days to see me. After a quick visit, Tim left for a ski trip and she continued on her journey home. After they both left, it came to light that she was just a little “too gay” for my parents (meaning that I was a little too gay) even though she was and is amazing and literally spending her life trying to make the world better and safer.

That Christmas, my parents were faced with the reality that my sexuality wasn’t a phase. My Mom and I argued and it was ugly. I called my friend who then picked me up in the middle of the night to stay with her and friends until my return flight to Seattle. I didn’t go back home for 2 years.

I’m going to skip ahead and share that I would come to St. Louis for business trips and not tell my parents I was in town, and it was painful. On one trip, I had lunch with a former boss/“Shero” who, while our time together was short, her impact was profound. Laura Whitley said something to me that changed my life: “you’ve had 24 years to figure this out, give your Mom a year Mags, just give her a year.” So I did. It made ALL the difference. My parents and I are very close. They are there without question, we were close before I came out, we had a pause and we are even closer now. I know working through this made us closer. We found our way to real dialogue which isn’t always the “comfort before discomfort” Midwestern way.

Fast forward. All of these things that my Mom was mourning are part of my life…2 amazing children, a rewarding professional life and living out loud as an advocate. My parents did the work to embrace that the Maggie that I created was the true and more expansive expression of their dreams for me.

Why do I tell you all of this?

Because my son recently came out, and he gave me permission to tell you. He shared with me that he came out to my Mom over a month ago when my parents came to visit. My Mom’s words to him when he came out casually (which is the only way he is doing it) was “I just want you to be happy baby, that’s all that matters and I love you who you are.” I just cried. Ugly cried. She gave him what she couldn’t give me 23 years ago and somehow it mattered more.

So Mom, it’s Pride and I want acknowledge grace and growth. Maybe we all went through this so that our sweet boy will walk through his journey in a bright rainbow light.

I love you so much Mom Mary Lower , I honor our journey. I honor your journey. I’ve never been more thankful for and proud of you. Thank you for giving him what you weren’t ready to give me. And that’s ok. I see you and I love you more for doing the work.

This is why we Just Keep Going. Always.

Happy Pride!

Xoxo beauties!

#pride2023 #pride365