Thank God I found the GOOD in goodbye

When we arrived in Denmark we were shocked to learn Amazon.com wasn't a thing.

In Denmark the high street is alive and kicking, and whilst there are websites selling goods, the postage is typically high (especially when compared to the free postage so common in the UK).

Around the globe Covid19 has forced many retailers to improve their online presence. Shopify has come of age earlier than expected, Amazon is hiring thousands of people globally every day and new postal services are cropping up everywhere.

It seems people's desire for owning stuff isn't going away. It's actually becoming easier, and in 2020 the ability to obtain and gain attachment to more stuff hasn't helped stop a reduction in global happiness.

The COVID Response Tracking Study, conducted by NORC at the University of Chicago found that just 14% of American adults said they were very happy. That's down from 31% who said the same in 2018. 

In 2018 23% said they’d often or sometimes felt isolated. Now in 2020, 50% say that.

It appears the Covid19 pandemic could be a large reason for reduced happiness in this study, yet here in Denmark unhappiness is not spreading as fast, it's happiness as usual in the land of happy.

How can this be?

When truth takes a backseat to ego and politics, trust is lost

Trust in government remains high, and Danes are happy to play their part in solving the spread of the virus alongside the government and its recommendations and policies. Most satisfied: Denmark tops EU survey on government corona response - The Post (cphpost.dk)

Danes' long tradition of putting society over self-interest and considering the community stronger than the individual is admirable and a possible reason for happiness remaining intact for the majority.

The anti-corruption NGO Transparency International publishes an annual ranking of the world’s least-corrupt countries. This year they published findings showing Denmark topping the table, tied with New Zealand.

Wait? Denmark and New Zealand? Two countries that did incredibly well early on in the Covid19 Pandemic?

Yes, that's right.

It's not just trust, there's something else I see each day that I believe explains happiness too. For Danes, attachment to stuff is different to what I've experienced elsewhere.

Back to Amazon.

Whilst you can technically purchase through Amazon from Denmark (Amazon Germany is the easiest way), I've noticed a lack of attachment to 'stuff'. Many Danes have cars, many have nice clothes, many have nice houses. Yet this isn't stuff they have for their happiness. It's stuff that's practical (and why not have nice things that are practical). Danish happiness (in large part) appears to come from nowhere. It's more an unconscious feeling from a collective society. A society that will pick them up and help them on their way if they fall down.

We cannot find happiness until we forget to seek it

"An attachment is a state of clinging to something or someone that you believe is necessary for your happiness. Thus, attachments have you thinking, “Unless or until I get or can keep [fill in the blank], I cannot be happy." - Tony DeMello

Tony explains in his book 'The Way to Love' that true happiness is not caused by a person, thing or an event (that's a feeling of excitement not happiness). True happiness is uncaused, you are happy for no specific reason, happiness can not be experienced.

Could it be that unhappy people due to Covid19 lockdowns have been unhappy all along? Is it possible that happiness is unconscious? If we begin to understand our unhappiness, is the result actual happiness?

Covid19 and the dramatic change in life as we know it has begun to challenge conventional thinking around attachment. I'm learning the act of simply desiring happiness ultimately leads to unhappiness (from anxiety and dissatisfaction in life when it does not arrive).

Remember that happiness is a way of travel, not a destination

Interestingly, Danes I know do not desire happiness. They like quality, they like comfort, yet they don't desire these things to be happy. Happiness comes from a way of life, a collective life not just focused on the individual. Is this the secret to being happy? Is saying goodbye to the desire for stuff and things the way to go? 

I'd say it's worth a try, especially given the evidence.

Denmark is far from perfect, it has many of the same problems other countries we know and love have, what it doesn't appear to have is a general happiness problem, even through Covid19. There's a secret sauce somewhere here and I'm determined to find it, maybe I have, maybe I haven't? What do you think?

I hope happiness comes to you not from the presents you receive or the things you might miss this Christmas season, but from within.

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I hope you enjoyed this episode of Notes from a Small Country? I'd love feedback directly or in the comments. Which part was your favourite? What do you want to see more or less of? Other suggestions? Let me know!

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See you next time for Episode 22.

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