Texting & Dating & Keeping it Classy

When it comes to relationships, texting has changed the game. You’ve heard the phrase, “Don’t text and drive”? Well, here’s another one for you…don’t text and date, or at least text with caution! (In any relationship.) While I do let my thumbs do the talking at times, texting while dating can be a very tricky business. People use texting as a means of:

1. Relationship Building – The introduction of texting has promoted the false idea that relationship building can be instant and easy. Settling for serial texting instead of a real relationship can leave you feeling unsure about your relationship status. Excessive texting can be an indicator of deeper underlying issues. The big takeaway here is that the dynamics of a lasting, loving relationship, later in life are built on the foundation of face-to-face time spent with your potential partner. You are worth the effort!

1. Safe Sex – There is nothing safe about sexting, especially when it is a replacement for conversation and commitment. When you are finding love later in life, it is easy to buy the lie that you are running out of time, so you need to settle for instant gratification. No matter what age you are, or what you have been through, you deserve to take your time and build a lasting, flourishing relationship. Nothing replaces putting the work into bonding through quality time and real interaction.?

1. Dumping - Breaking up over text lets you off the hook of human interaction and is just flat-out disrespectful. Out of 500 people surveyed, 57% admitted to breaking up over text. Psychologists reveal that is an avoidance technique that is a way of falsely circumventing guilt and shame. Texting is not a tool for conflict resolution. It doesn’t produce the good communication skills that are needed for a successful, long-term relationship.?

How to Text with Class:

• Use 15 Words or Less – Texts that resemble a book do not qualify as relationship-building communication. Ladies, if you are going to write a book, write a book and publish it. No one wants to read a 1,000-word text message as they try to decipher the hidden messages behind your metaphors and imagery. When you take the time to condense your message into as few words as possible, it heightens the clarity of your communication, respects the reader’s time, and provides direct communication without expecting the other person to be a mind-reader. It also prevents miscommunication.

• Be Fun and Flirty – The definition of flirting is to behave as though you’re trying to attract someone. Now, I want you to think about flirting in a wider scope than just in dating. What would happen if we spoke to everyone as though we were trying to attract them…instead of repelling them. Pay attention to the people in your life that you’ve become so comfortable with that you no longer feel the need to attract them to you.?

• Avoid fighting over text. When you are reading a text, you are left to assume the tone in which the message is said. The tone can deeply impact the real meaning behind what is trying to be communicated. Mixed signals can send your emotions swirling. When your fingers are flying in frustration, confusion abounds. When you are finding love later in life, don’t be afraid of the reality of difficult conversations. Embrace them with the wisdom that you’ve gained over the years. Speak your authentic truth and create deep meaningful conversations that open the door to lasting love.

• Keep it Classy - Only send pictures that you would be ok with your kids seeing. I am just going to leave that right there. Keep it classy.

Here’s the key…communicate face to face. Building a relationship face to face provides the purest form of communication and enhances the overall experience. Raise the bar and hold the standard high! Let the majority of your communication be face-to-face. If the eyes are the window to the soul, gaze deeply into the depth of who each of you is with vulnerability, and create a connection that can withstand the test of time.

Join me Wednesday morning in my private Facebook group, Summoned2Soar and we will dive in deeper to this subject.?Just click here: Summoned2Soar

Coach Angela Aja

and Monarch University Team

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