Tesla Owner is 9 Months Away from Disowning Lease and Elon

?? Scene: Coffee shop parking lot, Model 3 angled like a humblebrag Kevin plugs in his Tesla like he’s docking a spaceship, but deep down, resent is building.

Not because the car doesn’t work. But because he’s one tweet away from disowning Elon publicly. He just can’t yet—the lease still has 9 months.

Kevin’s Internal Struggle:

“I mean… I don’t agree with him politically.” “But the acceleration tho.” “I’ll return it and switch to Rivian. Or a horse. Depends on the next tweet.”

How He Talks About Elon in Public (Right Now):

• “You’ve gotta separate the product from the person.”
• “He’s a genius… but flawed.”
• “I’m just here for the innovation, not the ideology.”

Translation: I paid too much and I can’t admit it yet.

How He’ll Talk the Second the Lease Ends:

• “That guy’s a menace to society.”
• “I can’t believe I supported that brand.”
• “Yeah I drive a Lucid now. You wouldn’t get it.”

He’s already drafted the breakup post:

“I no longer align with Tesla’s values.” As if he wasn’t just flexing the charging stats yesterday.

Final Scene:

His Tesla chimes. Battery at 86%. Lease at 257 days.

The resentment? Charging faster than the car.

?? Know a lease-locked Tesla bro pretending Elon’s not one tweet away from full cancellation?

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