The Tera Transformation Times - May 2024

As a non-parent, it is difficult to talk about parenthood let alone offer advice. Since many countries celebrate Mother's Day in May, I thought I would take a risk and bring some content about parenthood based on my observations, input from my friends and clients, and my own reading (yes, I read about being a parent as a way to connect and empathize with others).

First and foremost, it is essential to prioritize your own well-being as a parent. It is impossible to give, to love from an empty cup. If you are not happy and fulfilled, you will not be able to be the best version of yourself. Research has shown that parental burnout can negatively impact both the parent's mental health and their child's development. It is crucial to make time for, and do, self-care activities such as exercise, meditation, or pursuing personal interests.

Taking time for yourself is not selfish. You are replenishing your cup so you have fuel to give and to love. Additionally, seeking out social support from other parents and/or a therapist can help alleviate stress and prevent burnout.

It is important to cultivate a growth mindset in both yourself and your child. This involves recognizing that failure (i.e., when results are not what you expected) is a natural part of learning and embracing mistakes as opportunities for growth. Carol Dweck's research on the topic highlights the importance of praising effort rather than innate abilities, which can motivate children to work harder and persist in the face of challenges.

This is linked to teaching children age-appropriate responsibilities and tasks. I joke with my friends with older kids that they have "staff" to do certain things like spring cleaning, tidying up, setting the table, helping with laundry, or even running certain errands.

Sadly, more often than not, I hear something to the effect of "it is easier and faster if I do it." That is true, but what is the price? On one hand it is the risk of parental burnout. On the other, it is a subtle message that the kid's best is not good enough, or that you as the parent do not think they are capable enough.

Equally bad, if not more, is when parents pretend to allow the kid to do certain things and then they go and correct it. For example, a four-year old child is old enough to make their own bed. Will it look as if you made the bed? Of course not! What message would you be giving if you go and make it so it looks "decent"?

The same goes for your learning and growing as a parent. You will make mistakes. It is inevitable. After all, this is the first time you are the parent of [insert your child's name and age]. Every time each of your kids celebrates another birthday, it will be your first time as the parent of... Recognize your efforts, modify as needed, and keep learning and experimenting. I am sure you are doing much better than you give yourself credit.

I appreciate that being a parent is probably one of the most challenging roles for adults. Prioritizing self-care, learning and applying knowledge as appropriate, as well as approaching parenthood with a growth mindset could make it less difficult to navigate. Remember to seek out support when needed and take time to appreciate the joys of parenting.

Published and Upcoming Articles

Last month I wrote about the power of positive self-talk and how to overcome procrastination. I invite you to experiment with the tips and tools proposed in each article and modify them to fit your needs.

Both are also available on video

The Power of Positive Self-Talk: How to Unlock Your Potential

How to Overcome Procrastination: Strategies for Taking Action and Achieving Goals

In May I will be talking about how to attract what you want most and the price of leadership.

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Quote of the Month

"Never help a child with a task at which he feels he can succeed." Maria Montessori, Italian pedagogue and physician

Laughter is the best medicine

Background of the month

Tulips are my favorite flowers, and I am always on the lookout for the ones on Park Avenue in New York City as they go away as fast as they come. Some interesting facts about tulips:

a) They are originally from Central Asia (not Holland)

b) In the seventeenth century tulips were the most expensive flower in the world

c) Tulips are edible

One Last Thing Before You Go

It would be immensely helpful to know what type of content you want to receive in this newsletter. Please post your feedback in the comments section or contact me directly via LinkedIn.

For more content, join our email list and receive helpful articles, humor, and the latest posts by completing this form with your name and email. In gratitude, we will send you a free e-book on how to become an emotionally intelligent leader.

Si deseas recibir contenido en espa?ol, únete a nuestra lista de correo electrónico. Completa esta forma con tu nombre y correo electrónico y, en agradecimiento, te enviaremos un libro electrónico gratuito sobre cómo convertirte en líder emocionalmente inteligente.

See you next month!