The Tension of Leadership: Navigating Doubt and Certainty

It was in a conversation with a member of my leadership team that I first felt the weight of a particular kind of frustration: the kind that doesn’t just stem from disagreement but from something deeper, something unspoken. We were going back and forth on a critical decision, dissecting the issue from multiple angles, searching for the right course of action. Then, to slice through the tension, he said, “You can just make the decision and we can move on. You are the boss.”

The words lingered. On the surface, they carried the expectation of authority: an acknowledgment that, at the end of the day, the final decision rested with me. But beneath them was something else: a subtle, unintentional distancing. A moment where leadership became singular instead of shared.

There is a peculiar paradox in leadership. We are expected to project certainty, to chart a course with conviction. And yet, leadership is rarely a straight line. It is often a M?bius strip: a continuous loop where confidence and self-doubt fold into each other seamlessly, making it difficult to tell where one begins and the other ends.

In that moment, I wondered: was my deliberation being perceived as hesitation? Was my attempt to weigh perspectives coming across as indecision? Or was this simply the natural tension of leadership: the oscillation between seeking counsel and owning the final call?

I have come to realise that self-doubt is not the enemy. It is, in fact, the unseen architect of good leadership. The leader who never questions themselves, who moves without pause or reflection, is not decisive but reckless. The discomfort of uncertainty forces us to listen more deeply, to examine assumptions, to challenge easy answers. And yet, there is a balance to be struck. When doubt lingers too long, it can stall momentum, leaving teams stranded in ambiguity.

But perhaps the greatest challenge is how others perceive our doubt. In a world that equates confidence with certainty, deliberation is sometimes mistaken for weakness. There is an unspoken expectation that leaders should simply know. Yet, true leadership is not about always having the right answer but about knowing how to arrive at one. It is about moving through the M?bius loop of questioning and resolution, doubt and decision, until clarity emerges—not as an endpoint, but as a rhythm.

That conversation reminded me that leadership is not about erasing doubt but learning when to trust the questions and when to move forward despite them. The M?bius strip shows us that what seems like opposing forces—confidence and hesitation, clarity and ambiguity: are inextricably linked. The key is not to resolve the tension but to navigate it.

So yes, in that moment, I was the boss. But leadership is not about title or hierarchy. It is about embracing the continuous journey of questioning, deciding, and moving forward—not in the absence of doubt, but in the presence of it.