Tending to the Trust Garden: Using Authenticity, Logic, and Empathy to Transform our Teams

As I stepped into the shoes of the new leader, I was met with a team that I had inherited which was struggling to find its footing. Morale was at an all-time low, and the tension was palpable whenever the team met. The previous leadership had left a legacy of mistrust, and the team's hard work in the previous year had been met with criticism from senior leaders. To make matters worse, there was bad blood between team members, and internal communication had broken down. It was clear that something needed to be done, but I was faced with a daunting question: where to start?

As I considered my approach, I had three options. Option 1: Business as Usual - Stick to the usual leadership style and approach, hoping that trust will build over time. However, this risked ignoring the underlying issues and potentially worsening the situation.

Option 2: Crack the Whip - Assert authority and take a strict approach to leadership, using power and control to force the team to work together. However, this approach often leads to resentment and rebellion.

I had to take a risk and try option 3: take a bold and unconventional approach to building trust, with the hope that the team can be shaken out of their turpid state of affairs. But what specific actions can I do?

Frances Frei, a Harvard Business School professor, shared her experience in building and rebuilding trust at Uber in her TED talk 'How to build (and rebuild) trust'. She argues that trust is the foundation of everything we do, and it boils down to three key components: authenticity, rigor in rationale, and empathy. Frei provides practical tips for each component, in order of ease of implementation:

Tip 1: Starting with empathy, she encourages leaders to be more mindful of their distractions and actively listen to others. Putting aside our phones when having a conversation can go a long way already.

Tip 2: Next, she emphasizes the importance of clear communication in articulating the rationale, starting with a clear point and providing supporting evidence.

Tip 3: Finally, she stresses the need for authenticity, encouraging leaders to be themselves and celebrate their differences. Being themselves, and encouraging team members to be themselves, rather than holding back, can foster a culture of authenticity.

I decided to throw my team a curveball: submit three outstanding projects for an internal awards that recognised outstanding projects, but with a twist - they had to write their colleagues' projects, not their own. I wanted to showcase their hard work, teach them to write in an audience-centric manner, and foster understanding and empathy among team members. At first, they were hesitant and overwhelmed, seeing this as unnecessary work. But I trusted the process and encouraged them to take the leap. And then, the magic happened. Two out of three nominations won awards! The team began to cooperate, build trust, and see each other in a new light. A year later, they had transformed into a high-performance team with amazing achievements. They looked back on this moment as a pivotal turning point, appreciating the bet I took on them and how it paid off in the end.

As leaders, we all need to build trust within our teams. But let's also acknowledge that trust within a team can be fragile, like a garden which requires constant nurturing, and that it may be broken from time to time, either because the gardener was not careful or due to external circumstances like a storm. If we learn to rebuild the trust, like watering the garden with empathy, pruning it with clear communication, and fertilizing it with authenticity, the effort is worth the journey. What specific actions can you do today to tend to your team's trust garden?

https://youtu.be/pVeq-0dIqpk?si=lUF8iD8l-u4ufw4Z