Ten Things I’ve Learned Since My Retirement

Three years ago this month, I embarked on a new chapter of my life by retiring from ExxonMobil. At the time, I wasn’t sure exactly what to expect, but the journey so far has been both exciting and deeply rewarding.

Since then, I’ve traveled the world and immersed myself in different cultures—witnessing the vast African savanna on safari, cruising down the Nile in Egypt, hiking Mont Blanc, exploring the vibrant streets of Paris, and marveling at the natural wonders of Patagonia. And, of course, I have seen firsthand the continued transformation of China.

Beyond travel, I’ve remained deeply engaged in meaningful work. In addition to sharing weekly insights, I’ve published my first book on leadership in both English and Chinese, mentored and advised several startup companies, and delivered leadership talks to over a dozen businesses and organizations. And, of course, I’ve kept up my annual marathon tradition.

As I mark this three-year milestone, I want to take a moment to reflect on what I’ve learned since stepping into this new phase of life.

1. Adaptation Beats Planning

You often hear retirement planning advices. You can plan your actions but not your future. Life rarely follows a rigid plan. What we don’t know often matters more than what we do know. How we navigate uncertainty, adapt, and move forward will ultimately shape our future. In addition, being adaptable allows us to embrace new opportunities and joys as they arise.

2. Decisions Are More Important Than Perfect Decisions

Years seem to drag on endlessly when you are young. With age, you realize how fast time flies. Time has become the most precious commodity in retirement. I’ve learned it’s less about making the “perfect” decision and more about making a decision aligned with your values and priorities. Overanalyzing can mean missing moments that never come back. Most regrets aren’t about what we did. They’re about what we didn’t do. Even in retirement, we can still push our comfort zone and take risks as long as we avoid unnecessary risks, and own our decisions fully. There’s no manager or team to blame; every outcome rests squarely on you. Hiking the Mount Blanc with my sons last year was challenging but it was also one of the most rewarding experiences I had.

3. Networking Is Not Transactional

Networking provides me with insights, experiences, and perspectives that expand my thinking. But networking is about authentic connection, rather than self-promotion. People want to share their stories—be genuinely curious, and relationships will naturally deepen. Everyone has a story to tell and worth hearing.? One of the benefits of being retired? There’s no pressure to network for professional gains, freeing you to connect on a more human level.

4. Passion Is Essential and Life is Not About Winning

Your career may define a chapter of your life, but it doesn’t define you. Pursuing passions—whether hobbies, travel, helping others, or something tied to your career— can all be very fulfilling. Many transferable skills from your past career can help you with whatever you decide to pursue. Don’t take yourself too seriously. Enjoy the journey and have fun!

5. The More You Give, The More You Get

Every week, I share some learnings or insights in my newsletter. I certainly hope my sharing has provided nuggets of useful wisdom benefiting the 376,000 readers around the world in some way. What I didn’t expect was how much I would learn in return—from researching topics to internalizing your feedbacks and comments. Sharing is a two-way street, and the rewards are immeasurable. I deeply appreciate all the thoughtful comments you share.

6. Big Things Start Small

Big dreams often start with small, consistent steps. Marathon running sounds daunting, but it begins with a single stride. Over time, your muscles strengthen. The same applies to many things including writing—the more you do it, the sharper your thinking becomes.

7. Retirement Doesn’t Mean Stopping Work

Work doesn’t end with retirement; its purpose evolves. Instead of financial goals, your focus shifts to impact—mentoring, helping others, or creating. Starting something new often means letting go of the old, which can be difficult, but it opens doors to new possibilities. I’ve published a book, working on another one, attended photography classes, and am learning Japanese through podcasts.

8. Health Is Everything

Without health, everything else fades into irrelevance. If there’s one thing to focus on stubbornly, it’s health. Stay active and keep moving—not just because it’s essential, but because it’s fun. Don’t wait for January 1 to make New Year’s resolutions; every day is an opportunity to start fresh.

9. You Can Still Dream Big—Even After Retirement

No ambition, no success! This is true in your career, and it’s still true in retirement. Retirement doesn’t mean letting go of dreams. My bucket list continues to grow: Running a marathon at the Panathenaic Stadium in Athens, the birthplace of the modern Olympics; Teaching an MBA class, ideally in a new country (let me know if you have any suggestions!); Becoming conversational in Japanese; Keep running my annual marathon for as long as I can.

10. Curiosity Is the Best Way to Understand the World Around Us

Learning is no longer a necessity; it’s a joy. Stay humble and stay curious. The world around us is changing fast in many ways. An engaged mind is an active mind and a fulfilled mind. Instead of letting media dictate our mental processes, we can intentionally rewire our minds to draw fulfillment from pursuits that truly enrich our lives—meaningful work, inspiring relationships, and purposeful missions that create lasting impact.

I’ll close with a quote from Sally Kornbluth, the president of my alma mater, MIT: “Curiosity is the passion to understand how things work and why, and how they can work better. Curiosity is also the one and only path to understanding one another—to empathy and appreciation and mutual respect. In effect, curiosity is the indispensable first step in both collaboration and community.”

Read My Leadership Book: The Odyssey of Self-Discovery: On Becoming A Leader

Enjoy My Photo Portfolio: Xinjin Zhao Photography

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